Help for my paranoia-- please!

Hopeful it's just normal OCD of fear.   But I hav very bad fear of pregnacy and I've been seeing a little blood and a little brown stuff and I guess I fear it's implantation bleeding.  I took a pregnacy test and it was negative.   My only act of intercourse lately I used 2 forms of birth control.   This is about right time for a period to be trying to come in because my periods vary by days sometimes.   Also I'm 42 years old.   Pleas someone tell me something to ease my fear.

[greenlydia]

If you used two types of birth control and the pregnancy test was negative, I would say with a great deal of certainty that you are NOT pregnant.
If your periods are even slighlty irregular, the spotting you're seeing is probably quite normal. A brownish discharge is usually just some old blood that wasn't expelled during your last period.
Worry, "very bad fear," and the resulting stress can not only delay your period, it can totally prevent it.
You are not old by any stretch of the imagination, but many of us in our 40's begin what is called "perimenopause." It is the begining of menopause which may not actually happen for years yet, but it's our bodies way of slowly preparing for the end of our child bearing years.
Take another home pregnancy test. One may have given you a false response, two will not be wrong. If you are using a high quality HPT, they are the same ones doctors use, so they are extremely accurate.
You could also post your question over on our "Am I Pregnant Forum." Those gals will no doubt reassure you more than I can.
I don't know where you got the OCD idea, but in my humble opinion, I don't see how that would relate to a fear of being pregnant. Why you have such a fear of pregnancy is your business. I'm just curious if it's a fear that you don't WANT a child, that you don't want any MORE children or if you've never been pregnant and fear the process. Your answer is private to you and does not affect my response.
Try another test. Take some very hot baths and try everthing you can to relax. I think you're just freaked out and it's affecting your cycle.
I wish you the outcome you want
Peace
Greenlydia

[Hobby10]

Thanks for your response.  I hav a 12 year old child who I lov dearly.  But I don't think I should hav anymore kids especially at my age.   My period did come in .  Thank u for your response.

[greenlydia]

Have you considered getting your tubes tied since it's likely you will be fertile for another decade (or more)? If you know you are done having children, this procedure, which is done laprascopically now and is considered day surgery, will end all need for any kind of birth control. Your ovaries are not removed so you will not enter "forced" menopause and have to take ERT. I should add that while you will not need birth control to protect against pregnancy, condoms should still be used to protect against HIV and STDs.
I'm glad your period arrived and your stress is gone. I hope you will discuss this option with your doctor. If you are sexually active, you don't need to keep going through this worry every month.
Have a great Holiday season!
Peace
Greenlydia