I cant convince myself its only Anxiety and its destroying me!

[Ryza496]

Im a 18 year old male and have been in a deep hole of Anxiety and deppression for about 4 months now.
It all started with a inner ear infection witch would cause intense dizzyness witch scared the hell out of me so i googled my symptoms and came up with a brain tumor, this turned my world inside out and i was 100% conviced i was going to die by the end of the year this in turn led to panic attacks and depression. i went to my doctor and he diagnosed me with a panic disorder and labyrinthitis witch made me feel alot better for a short while but as soon as i was alone again all i could think is "what if he is wrong". then i started experiancing more and more symptoms like heavey shaking, muscle twitching, pounding heart, vision problems, headaches, pains all over my body and just googled everything i felt witch made me feel so much worse and even more conviced i was terminaly ill.
I went to the doctor again and he did full blood tests and everything came back ok but i still think i have some fatal illness and that im gunna die. I know that it is anxiety deep down but now i cant stop think about death and wat happens when i die ect ect ect. before all this i was a heavy drug user ( weed - ectascy - acid and anything i could get my hands on rearlly) but as soon as i felt the dizzyness i stoped everything that istant witch i think could be contributeing to my Anxiety issues. i now eat well, go to gym and have turned my life around but all for the wrong resons, coz i think im going to DIE!! i seriously want to get on with my life and start enjoying it again i dont go out any more and have become totally detatched from my close freinds and find it hard to go out without a family member. any advice on how i can get over this would be greatly apreciated

much thanks
Ryan

[Ryza496]

morality was the wrong word i ment fatality

[Ryza496]

many thanks people has been amazing to know im not alone. But i dont understand the feelings i get, many people are worried i may be sucidal but its the compleat  oppisit asif i developed a deep primal fear of death i think about it 24/7  and now look at the world though a differnt pair of eyes analyzeing and seeing everygthing as tempory and pointless. i wish so bad that things could go to the way it was before all this but i cant fool myself of my own morality anymore and the Anxiety make things so much harder, i feel every symptom i think i should be feeling when i think of a teminal illnes over the past few months i have thought i have had everything from a brain tumor to HIV and still belive it could be any off them. I feel asif i should be having the best time of my life at my age and im wasting it all by worring about the futuer i try so hard to occupi myself but i cant stop my head from thinking non stop.

[melindazcrew6]

I also GOOGLE...It is an evil tool for us anxiety and panic suffer's. I googled my Zoloft and freaked! I suffer from DP/DR , anxiety/panic disorder , OCD,and depression. I finally had enough and started it. I have been on it for 5 weeks now. Let me mention I am TERRIFIED of medication!!!!! So this has been a HUGE step. But I feel 80% better :-)   and it does take a little bit to start working ., reaper you should really give this a try!! Ryan you should see your Dr and ask for a therapist, medication, CBT , breathing and relaxation excersizes...VERY helpful.  Take care , hope you feel better soon!!!
Melinda

[xREAPERx]

You are not alone man i am going threw the same thing the doc said he thinks its all anxiety and gave zolloft but stupid me read the side effects lol so now im scared to take the meds but yeah man i now how you feel im terrified its a brain tumor and im going to die everyday  but im not dead yet and been goin threw this for nearly 6 months everyday 24/7 we just got to stay strong and try to push threw it and hold on to as much of are sanity as we can

[Daisysnow]

Ryan, you are not alone. I feel the same way that I a terrible disease that is causing my shortness of breath and gasping and I google the symptoms and still not convinced it it anxiety or panic attack. It consumes my days and I waste precious time worrying and it makes me sick with fear. I'm afraid to go to the doctor because of what they may find (a physical disease) or not find and say its' all in my head. I feel for you but don't give up. The only think that helps me is to try to relax, control my breathing, keeping my mind occupied with things and talk it over with people who understand when I need to. I just joined this forum tonight and already feel better although still very nervous inside from my panic attack still fresh. The reality is, nobody else can change how we feel, we have to do it ourselves. Have courage Ryan, you are not alone.