I don't feel like me anymore

[nicnoc237]

Hi, i think i am suffering with anxiety, but i'm scared i may have lost my mind as i don't feel like me anymore, i feel really different and out of it all the time, Everytime somebody talks to me or i talk to them i feel weird, almost like i'm not real and i have to fake things.

I'm terrified i'm losing my mind - i just want the old me back!!

I have been off work for a few days as i am finding it difficult to concentrate and do my job.

This all came about after i had an MRI scan...do you think it has damaged me or is it anxiety?

I have a doctors appointment this afternoon, but am scared she will prescribe me anti-depressants or something and i really don't want to take them.

I hope somebody can help me xx

[nicnoc237]

Thanks Izzy!

I have been on them for almost 2 weeks now - i feel less anxious and a bit brighter, but i just feel really strange still - not like me at all. I don't seem to feel the things i used to. Just feel weird all the time!

I am hoping this will pass in a few weeks - if not i will come off them - id rather be depressed and anxious then feel weird all the time.

xx

[izzy87]

Hey when I first started to have panic attacks I felt the same way I was so out of it... I felt like I was in a dream, I didn't want to do anything, every day I would just wish for the day to end... It eventualy whent away but I know exactly what u mean... Just hang in their...

[izzy87]

Hey my name is izzy, when I first started to have panic attacks I felt the same way I was so out of it... I felt like I was in a dream, I didn't want to do anything, every day I would just wish for the day to end... It eventualy whent away but I know exactly what u mean... Just hang in their...

[izzy87]

Hey when I first started to have panic attacks I felt the same way I was so out of it... I felt like I was in a dream, I didn't want to do anything, every day I would just wish for the day to end... It eventualy whent away but I know exactly what u mean... Just hang in their...

[izzy87]

Hey when I first started to have panic attacks I felt the same way I was so out of it... I felt like I was in a dream, I didn't want to do anything, every day I would just wish for the day to end... It eventualy whent away but I know exactly what u mean... Just hang in their...

[izzy87]

Hey when I first started to have panic attacks I felt the same way I was so out of it... I felt like I was in a dream, I didn't want to do anything, every day I would just wish for the day to end... It eventualy whent away but I know exactly what u mean... Just hang in their...

[nicnoc237]

Thank you for all your replies.

I am now on my 5th day of taking citalopram, so still early days yet.

Still feeling really out of it and not like me - i just feel so strange all the time. I know this sounds strange, but it feels weird to smile ...am i going crazy??

[alostcause]

From what you are describing, I'm pretty sure that you are suffering from Depersonalization. It is a truly terrifying experience, but you are not going crazy! In fact, being afraid of losing your mind is one of the most common symptoms of DP.

It is usually brought on by anxiety, typically stress that has built up over time.
Unfortunately, there is no easy fix.
What you need to do is stay busy, do something you really like and try not to entertain scary thoughts. Depersonalization is kind of like a Chinese finger trap. The more you try to pull out of it, the worse it gets.

Read more:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depersonalization_disorder

I had it for several years myself, but I'm pretty much cured of it now.
Feel free to send me a message!

[cj29]

Anxiety can really be hard to deal, especially when we are confused and scared by it.  I denied any notion that I was suffering from anxiety for months before I finally accepted that it could possibly what was bothering me.

My original experience with anxiety came from concerns about my heart.  Despite what the doctors said, I was convinced something must be wrong because I could feel every little skipped beat, pain, etc.  In my experience with this, we can misinterpret many of our feelings as something catastrophic when it really is not.  

Have you considered going to talk therapy for this?  For me, counseling (after acceptance) was the most important step I took in confronting this.  A little knowledge about why you are thinking the way you do can go a very long way in dealing with this...keep us posted!

[nicnoc237]

Thank you for your post...

i feel like i am going insane...i'm convinced this isn't anxiety and there is actually something wrong with my mind.

Feeling really scared xx

[cirene]

I'm no doctor but I feel you brought on the negative effects of the Citalopram on your own.  The mind's pretty powerful.  And you didn't go in with a positive attitude about taking medication period.  

Meds do have side effects.  And occasionally, yes, some can be pretty powerful.  But Citalopram is prescribed so often.  I've been on it for 3 years (tapering off it now though as pdoc wants to try me on something else.)  I also take 5 other meds for my depression / bipolar / anxiety.  And I had a virtual nervous breakdown that very first time I was getting ready to take my very first head med.  This was back in 1992.  But now?  Pft!  It's like a vitamin.

What I'm trying to say is DON'T be afraid!  Extreme side effects are few and far between.  And when / if they happen, you simply stop the medication and call your doctor.  It's trial and error usually.  But once you find that perfect cocktail, it's all uphill from there.

Hope I helped some.  Hang in there.  ♥

[nicnoc237]

i stopped taking the tablets as they were making me feel worse - i am so scared all the time...i constantly feel like i am losing my mind...i just don't feel like me anymore, i can't make sense of anything, i feel detached from everything and i can't see how things are going to get better. Feeling like i want to die right now, i just want the old me back :-( xx

[nicnoc237]

have just taken my first tablet...i really hope they help and side effects aren't too bad xx

[mammo]

Hi, I take Citolopram with no side effects at all, and it's been a good medication for me.  Just remember to be patient as it will take 4-6 weeks to build up to a therapeutic level in your body.  

[nicnoc237]

Hi,

Just been to the docs and they have prescribed me citalopram - i hope this helps me, i feel at my wits end with all this.

Feeling scared about the side effects :'-(

xx

[nicnoc237]

Thank you for your reply...

i really hope it's just anxiety like you say, i just want my life back. I was signed off work last year twice with anxiety and depression and am not terrified i am going to lose my job and hating the stigma that is attached to me at work :-(. I am scared my boyfriend will leave me, as he has been through this with me a few times now. Really don't know which way to turn, i don't want to feel weird anymore.

xx

[mammo]

Anxiety can do strange thing to us, some are severe.  The MRI is safe so no worry there, but your anxiety over all of it may be stressing you out.  It's your choice whether or not to take medication, sometimes therapy alone will do the trick.  Maybe once you learn that everything was fine with the MRI your anxiety will subside and you won't feel this way any longer.  If you are still anxious look into therapy, all anxieties have a root cause. Often getting to the root of the problem and dealing with it will ease your anxiety.  Since you don't want to take medication this is your best bet, but it should always be done first anyway in my opinion. You're not alone, we've been thru what your are dealing with, and many still are.  This is a great place for support and please keep us posted on how you are doing.  Take care...