Aa
Non-stop anxiety 24/7 for a month?
Hey, I am a 22 year old male from new york and i'm starting to feel very hopeless. PLEASE READ MY STORY I NEED ADVICE.
About 2 years ago I had a panic attack. Before that I was very anxious about social situations and my body but not to a point where it messed with my life. Then I had the panic attack, but the panic attack was really over a sense of losing control over my life and "what's going on" more than over my body. I was very lonely and a virgin as well. The panic attack was essentially caused by fear of going crazy or out of touch. Anyway, it definitely changed my life. I had been a college dropout and underachiever my whole life, and was living at home. I started trying to see a therapist, re-connect with friends, started to ease out of my house more, and started working a good job that I was doing well at. I was a little anxious all the time, but nothing I couldn't deal with.
Now 2 years later all of a sudden one day coming home I had an anxiety attack mainly because I was feeling down and lonely. I started to think "what if I have an attack again", and sure enough I got one. I got one every day after that for the rest of that week and could not sleep or eat well. Per my therapist's advice, I moved out of my parents house with a few new friends not far away. She had been insisting this was something I needed to do for a while. Well as soon as I moved out, the "cycle" stopped and I was feeling better. I was feeling really depressed as happens after a panic attack, but I was much calmer. Then a week later I had nothing to do on a saturday night and was watching TV alone, and caught another attack. The thoughts mainly were due to me dwelling on a fear of isolation, fear of failure in life, and fear of loneliness.
Since then, I have been CONSTANTLY anxious from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep. I have been obsessing about this state I am in and cannot stop thinking thoughts like "what if I never get out of this, how did this happen, how can I get out" etc. My appetite is WAY less than it was, to the point that I have to force down a feeble amount of food every day and I have dropped 10 pounds or so in a month. I also never had trouble sleeping and now I can barely sleep. I will sleep maybe 3-4 hours straight if i'm lucky, then I'll doze in and out for the rest of the night. It feels like I am stuck in a hole and I cannot see the sunshine anymore. Whereas when I was a week in I had hope that I would return to normal, now I am starting to lose faith and worried that my brain is "broken" and I am lost forever.
I started seeing a new therapist in addition to my old one, and she suggested I start taking some SSRI's anti-depressants, for 6-12 months or so and work through my problems while i'm on them. The thing is I REALLY REALLY REALLY do not want to start meds. I REALLY dont. My old therapist has not suggested meds and thinks I dont really need them. She thinks this is all related to me struggling to establish myself as a young adult in the world and become independent, sexually active, etc. I have talked to some other people and they say they managed to get through this without medication, that gradually you will come out of it. Like I said, I REALLY dont want to start meds. Has anyone else been through something like this and came out of it? I understand what my main issues are and i'm working hard to address them, but I am starting to lose faith and am worried that I might soon lose the will to go to work or get out of bed etc.
About 2 years ago I had a panic attack. Before that I was very anxious about social situations and my body but not to a point where it messed with my life. Then I had the panic attack, but the panic attack was really over a sense of losing control over my life and "what's going on" more than over my body. I was very lonely and a virgin as well. The panic attack was essentially caused by fear of going crazy or out of touch. Anyway, it definitely changed my life. I had been a college dropout and underachiever my whole life, and was living at home. I started trying to see a therapist, re-connect with friends, started to ease out of my house more, and started working a good job that I was doing well at. I was a little anxious all the time, but nothing I couldn't deal with.
Now 2 years later all of a sudden one day coming home I had an anxiety attack mainly because I was feeling down and lonely. I started to think "what if I have an attack again", and sure enough I got one. I got one every day after that for the rest of that week and could not sleep or eat well. Per my therapist's advice, I moved out of my parents house with a few new friends not far away. She had been insisting this was something I needed to do for a while. Well as soon as I moved out, the "cycle" stopped and I was feeling better. I was feeling really depressed as happens after a panic attack, but I was much calmer. Then a week later I had nothing to do on a saturday night and was watching TV alone, and caught another attack. The thoughts mainly were due to me dwelling on a fear of isolation, fear of failure in life, and fear of loneliness.
Since then, I have been CONSTANTLY anxious from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep. I have been obsessing about this state I am in and cannot stop thinking thoughts like "what if I never get out of this, how did this happen, how can I get out" etc. My appetite is WAY less than it was, to the point that I have to force down a feeble amount of food every day and I have dropped 10 pounds or so in a month. I also never had trouble sleeping and now I can barely sleep. I will sleep maybe 3-4 hours straight if i'm lucky, then I'll doze in and out for the rest of the night. It feels like I am stuck in a hole and I cannot see the sunshine anymore. Whereas when I was a week in I had hope that I would return to normal, now I am starting to lose faith and worried that my brain is "broken" and I am lost forever.
I started seeing a new therapist in addition to my old one, and she suggested I start taking some SSRI's anti-depressants, for 6-12 months or so and work through my problems while i'm on them. The thing is I REALLY REALLY REALLY do not want to start meds. I REALLY dont. My old therapist has not suggested meds and thinks I dont really need them. She thinks this is all related to me struggling to establish myself as a young adult in the world and become independent, sexually active, etc. I have talked to some other people and they say they managed to get through this without medication, that gradually you will come out of it. Like I said, I REALLY dont want to start meds. Has anyone else been through something like this and came out of it? I understand what my main issues are and i'm working hard to address them, but I am starting to lose faith and am worried that I might soon lose the will to go to work or get out of bed etc.
I am sorry you are going through this. I can certainly relate to the 24/7 anxiety as well. I have dealt with this nearly my entire life (I'm 30 now and have dealt with this since I was at least 10 or so, if not younger). I have never been on medication. I have done therapy off-and-on. The first thing I have to say to you is "good job" on getting help and sticking with it. Many people start therapy and don't stick with it and never figure out what is causing the anxiety...and those are the people who continue to have problems more often than not.
I am with you on the medication issue. I, for one, can't handle most medications and have awful side effects on them. I have tried several, out of sheer desperation and my desire to live a normal life, which I have not had up to this point. However, I found that the way I feel on these meds is not the "normal" life I had in mind and my body just can't take them anyways.
What I would suggest is to keep seeing your therapist (whichever one you have the most success with). I don't know if you need to see 2 of them?? As a former therapist myself, I question whether seeing 2 is necessary. For one, as you can see, there are conflicting opionions, each one does therapy differently, and it may get confusing. If you like the one you have been seeing, why not just see that one?
I would also suggest making sure your diet is healthy, taking vitamins (especially B complex...this works amazing for some people--myself included--in mood stabilization, depression, and anxiety). If you don't exercise, start working that in. Again, that is something that I unfortunately do not get to do too often, but I know it works wonders for my panic attacks and anxiety.
Medication can be helpful for some, but if you're not wanting to take it, I would try other avenues first. Have you ever tried anything like accupuncture, yoga therapy, massage therapy, etc.??? I have not tried these things myself, but have had them mentioned to me as therapies that can be helpful.
It does sound like in addition to the anxiety, you have an element of depression in there as well. It sounds like it is a result of all the anxiety, so medication MAY be helpful in getting you through a few months, then discontinuing it when you have things more in order would make sense if you were open to it.
Also, I would focus on becoming independent, getting in some meaningful relationships (friends, partners, etc.)...you had mentioned in your post that your therapist is encouraging you to be independent (great), establishing yourself as an adult (great again), and becoming sexually active...not sure on that one, since if you are engaging in casual sex just to be sexually active, it may not have the effect you want it to have, know what I mean? I'm not saying that is what you are doing, but you had mentioned it as something your therapist was working with you on, so it sounds like that is pretty important to you.
Try not to isolate yourself, try to get involved in some activities that you enjoy or are meaningful to you.
I really hope your situation gets better. Sounds like moving out of your parent's house was a big step in the right direction, and I hope you find peace soon. I honestly do know how awful it is to live with this, and wish you the best.
I am with you on the medication issue. I, for one, can't handle most medications and have awful side effects on them. I have tried several, out of sheer desperation and my desire to live a normal life, which I have not had up to this point. However, I found that the way I feel on these meds is not the "normal" life I had in mind and my body just can't take them anyways.
What I would suggest is to keep seeing your therapist (whichever one you have the most success with). I don't know if you need to see 2 of them?? As a former therapist myself, I question whether seeing 2 is necessary. For one, as you can see, there are conflicting opionions, each one does therapy differently, and it may get confusing. If you like the one you have been seeing, why not just see that one?
I would also suggest making sure your diet is healthy, taking vitamins (especially B complex...this works amazing for some people--myself included--in mood stabilization, depression, and anxiety). If you don't exercise, start working that in. Again, that is something that I unfortunately do not get to do too often, but I know it works wonders for my panic attacks and anxiety.
Medication can be helpful for some, but if you're not wanting to take it, I would try other avenues first. Have you ever tried anything like accupuncture, yoga therapy, massage therapy, etc.??? I have not tried these things myself, but have had them mentioned to me as therapies that can be helpful.
It does sound like in addition to the anxiety, you have an element of depression in there as well. It sounds like it is a result of all the anxiety, so medication MAY be helpful in getting you through a few months, then discontinuing it when you have things more in order would make sense if you were open to it.
Also, I would focus on becoming independent, getting in some meaningful relationships (friends, partners, etc.)...you had mentioned in your post that your therapist is encouraging you to be independent (great), establishing yourself as an adult (great again), and becoming sexually active...not sure on that one, since if you are engaging in casual sex just to be sexually active, it may not have the effect you want it to have, know what I mean? I'm not saying that is what you are doing, but you had mentioned it as something your therapist was working with you on, so it sounds like that is pretty important to you.
Try not to isolate yourself, try to get involved in some activities that you enjoy or are meaningful to you.
I really hope your situation gets better. Sounds like moving out of your parent's house was a big step in the right direction, and I hope you find peace soon. I honestly do know how awful it is to live with this, and wish you the best.
First off i can totally indentify with what your feeling. I myself have just started to deal with anxiety for the last 3 months, and sometimes its a living hell. And when i dream i feel like my old self, which oddly enough seems to make things worse when i wake up and realize that i am still going through these problems. It all started for me with a simple infection in my lymph nodes in my abdomen that did not resolve for almost a month. Slowly over time the pain resolved but i was left with this feeling that something was wrong with my body and it gave me horrible panic attacks at times, and generalized anxiety and stress all day every day. At first i just tried to deal with it myself because like you i hate the thought of being on medication. However, things just seemed to get worse and started causing pain in different areas of my body mainly my neck and jaw. So, after seeing 5 different specalists and my GP, i ended up taking a small dose of xanax to help reduce the anxiety when i needed it and it helped me to return to a normal life most days. I can tell you that as it stands right now i feel a lot better and it has been almost two weeks since my last panic attack and that the generalized anxiety has been reduced to almost nothing. Im not saying that this is what you need, but it might help you if you dont want to go on the ssri's. So i would suggest talking it over with your doctor and explain your feelings about the meds to them.
I can tell you that somedays it feels as if i was going to be able to beat this, and others i feel as if my brain is broken as well and that i am never going to be my old self again. But i guess thats the boat that we are all stuck in, and have to fight through the bad days to get to the good days. I hope things get better for you and if theres anything that you need to talk about, i have found that the people on this forum are very helpful and compassionate as they are all going through the same things, i know that i am and would be willing to help you if i can.
Hope this helps! :)
I can tell you that somedays it feels as if i was going to be able to beat this, and others i feel as if my brain is broken as well and that i am never going to be my old self again. But i guess thats the boat that we are all stuck in, and have to fight through the bad days to get to the good days. I hope things get better for you and if theres anything that you need to talk about, i have found that the people on this forum are very helpful and compassionate as they are all going through the same things, i know that i am and would be willing to help you if i can.
Hope this helps! :)
PS: It feels kind of like my life has turned into a nightmare. Sometimes In my dreams, I will feel normal, like the old me, and then when I wake up I slowly realize I am waking up back into a nightmare =/ ...kind of like a never-ending anxiety attack.
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Anxiety Community
Find out what can trigger a panic attack – and what to do if you have one.
A guide to 10 common phobias.
Take control of tension today.
These simple pick-me-ups squash stress.
Don’t let the winter chill send your smile into deep hibernation. Try these 10 mood-boosting tips to get your happy back
Want to wake up rested and refreshed?
