You truly need to talk to your mom so that she knows just how bad you're feeling. I'm sure she's already concerned but she needs to hear from you just how bad it is. You don't belong in a psych ward, nor could you go without parental permission. Your parents love you and would want to know what's going on, give them the opportunity to help you. There is so much help for you without going into the hospital. Know you're not alone, we hear from a lot of teens just like you. Sit down and talk to your mom, and be totally honest with her about it all. Take care....