Hi guys. So I turned 23 last Saturday and since then things have been terrible. I'm anxious all the time, I'm having panic attacks that are so debilitating at night. I feel like I'm going crazy. I feel like everything isn't real around me and I'm having bad depersonalization and derealization. Tonight was bad cause I relapsed and cut myself because I needed SOME relief. Now I'm having these random pains in my chest but like in my boob areas not my chest. I'm scared I'm gonna have a heart attack. It's 7:30am and I'm scared to sleep cause I'm not gonna wake up. Can 23 year olds have heart attacks? I'm scared. What are these pains. I can breathe fine except sometimes I feel like I can't catch my breath and a huge lump in my throat that makes me feel like I'm gonna gag. What's wrong with me? Am I dying? I'm so scared. This is just anxiety right?
Anxiety and panic can be quite confusing and scary when first experiencing it, in my opinion. My first panic attack came out of the blue when I was in my mid-twenties and I thought I was actually having a heart attack. After mulitple trips to the doc (along with variuos tests) confirmed over and over that physically I was okay, I just 'knew' something had to be wrong and that they were missing something.
Of course it was anxiety, but I didn't believe it at first because I had never experienced this sort of thing and was probably in a little bit of denial as well. Furthermore, I also believe we tend to fear what we do not understand, and I obviously had no clue what was going on at first.
Have you talked to your doctor about this? What has he/she said? For me, the most important step I took was getting counseling to learn how to confront and deal with the anxiety. I know this may sound a little 'hokie,' but I believe knowledge is definitely power when dealing with something like this. I look at it like any challenge we face...be it a mental or physical challenge. At first, we are not usually that good at something but the more we practice and condtion ourselves, the more effecient we become in dealing with it.
You will get through this. Many of us here have been in your shoes before. Feel free to ask as many questions as you like!
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