just need to hear positive stories if your anxiety is getting better?

[mistyblu78]

so another taumatic event for me..my first love and father of my daughters passed away march 20th 2011....two weeks after this my step father who raised me had a heart attack and open heart surgery...hes well again back to healthy but during march when all this happened my anxiety and panic were at its worst..sky high...i was stuck in a whirpool of fear,anxiety,exhaustion,sadness and having to push through for my children who need a normal mommy more than ever now...more than ever. i had been using pretty much a whole 0.5 dose a zanex two to three times a day..when i woke,,when i had lunch and before sleep....just to be normal..when i used to take half a dose once a day...i finally woke up one morning in july and noticed i felt different..i started down dosing my xanax ..eventually i got to 9 days free of meds..no xanax no anxiety no panic..and i felt so good so normal.. soo me again! i was extremely happy..and then on the 10th  eve i had a severe panic attack out of no where..right at bed time when i was about to doze off...and its continued day after day..and im back to a whole dose of 0.5 two to three tmes a day ..ive also started noticing i get panicky when i drive anywhere not near home..? almost afraid to go farther than a mile or so..i had not had this before..i cant even work lately..its too scary for me to think of driving to my locations? i cant go out ..i stay indoors more often..i dont lknow what to do..when i start to drive i get symptoms like ibs..and have to know im ot too far from a potty or i will panick..also...before in june i was having nautious spells,stomache pain,blurry vision and slight vertigo or twitching especaily when i woke hungry.. ...but now its changed to shortness of breath? i dont get hungry till evening..i cannot eat the same..even after 3-4 bites i get the feeling i can not draw in enough air.. i cant do too much in a short period of time i get shortness of breath or i feel like i cannot draw in a deep breath.. ...im just so tired of this..i want to be free of it al and be normal....its so hard..also my fiace has GAD and panick attacks..? could his energy be bad for me even when hes not having anxiety..and i now hear my 6 year old say things like mommy i dont feel right inside i feel all tingly when im alone..i think im giving my children anxiety as well? thats the last thing i want..i just wish i knew how to stop all this...

[mistyblu78]

i agree i thnk i may be developing agoraphobia as well..though its not evertime i get in the car..it still is pretty often..when i do get it its def a fear of being too far from a safe place...i thnk i may go back on klonopin..i was not on it long enough to see improvement....i thnk it may control my anxiety longer than xanax...i just have this bad taste in my mouth when i think to myself im on meds...or that id have to say to people im on meds...sounds stupid..but if it helps me at this point i dont even care anymore who thnks what...im tired..im ready to have my life back.

[mammo]

Have you tried therapy?  This can be very beneficial in learning how to cope, relax yourself and think in a more positive manner.   I'm not a doctor but it sounds like you need a longer acting anxiety medication to control your anxiety 24/7.  If you're not seeing a psychiatrist you should......they are most knowledgable when it comes to the medications and referring you to the proper therapist.  I lost five loved ones in a year followed by my son and grandson so I understand what you're enduring.  It sounds like you've developed Agoraphobia which is a fear of leaving your house or "safe place".  There are medications to control this and you owe it to yourself to see someone and get help.  This is a miserable way to have to live...but you don't have to.  Your children need you, and you need to get to a better place emotionally for them.  I know it's frustrating but with the proper help all of this can be controlled and therapy may even totally get rid of it.  You have to view anxiety like any other medical condition requiring daily medication to control the symptoms...and that's okay.  Therapy can be a lengthy process and medication can help you during this time.  Anxiety is holding you hostage, get help so you can break free and live a happy life. I hope this helps and wish you all the best!