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Incestual thoughts
Hi I'm Mark I've read some of the forums on here about 'incestual thoughts' and I need help. I have severe Obsessive Cumpulsive Disorder and I keep remembering things I've done in the past and thoughts I've had I'm worrying about them BADLY. I'll just come out with it what I find myself worrying about now is a while ago I masterbated over my older cousin. i've tried praying to god to forgive me for what I did and it gave me a short release for a little while but didn't really last and I've found myself worrying about it excessively thinking 'I'm a sick person for doing that why did I do it no one else has done it' and I just can forgive myself for doing it and my OCD won't let me forget about it. Can someone help me here? (Oh and I can't open up to anyone about this not even my therapist it's too a sensitive subject for me)
Best Answer
It's nice you have your mom as a support system. If you ever feel the need to get something off your chest, we're all ears! I'm glad to hear you're following up with your therapist!
Keep in touch!
Keep in touch!
No no no what I meant by 'masterbating over my cousin' was that I used her as a fantasy in my head while masterbating on my own. No I would never ACTUALLY do anything nor do I have any intentions on doing anything either and this was a one off fantasy thing. The fantasy was influenced by a pornstar in a porno video I saw who resembled my older cousin, thats when I had the fantasy. I'm booking my next appointment with my therapist this coming monday and I'm going to tell her what I told you guys and see what she says. I've confessed things to my mother aswell before about things that were hard for me to open up about and shes' brilliant she didn't judge me or yell at me and she reassured me and said to me that I can tell her anything and she won't judge. Me and my mum are close like that we always have been. It was only recently that I told her something that I was worrying about earlier that had been bugging me for a long time and something I thought I could never open up to her about. But I just don't think I could tell her about this new thing I'm worrying about it's not something I really can face telling her. I'm not confortable with this one. Normally I can open up to her about anything and it would stop me from worrying and have a release effect on me but it never lasts. I'm always finding new and weird things to worry about. The answers I got from you guys helped me and gave me a release but it turns out that was only a short one aswell. Now my OCD wants me to confess this 'NEW' worry to mum to give me another release but like I said I don't feel I that I can this time and I'm worrying excessively again. Sorry I know this is alot here I've said but I have to tell some one my OCD is wrecking my life! I can't relax, I get migraines, I can't have a good time when I go out because I'm always doing rituals in my head about every half hour to stop me from worrying.
Continue to work with your therapist, OCD and the related intrusive thoughts and compulsions need to be addressed and you need to keep plugging away at coping with them.
Just to clarify...you said you masturbated "over" your cousin. I assume you mean by thinking of her? If you meant that you actually masturbated in her presence, then I would be a bit more concerned, because you could be crossing lines. Cousin or not, unwanted exposure or advances is sexual harrassment and could find you in some trouble. If these were your thoughts (which is what it sounds like), I agree with the above posters that it isn't much to be kicking yourself for. Sexual fantasies can be quite intense, and if we all shared with people the things we have fantasized about, we'd all be put away. :0) Imagining and acting out your fantasies are two totally different things.
People without OCD recognize sexual fantasies for what they are, and don't typically have a lot of regrets about them. Because of your OCD, you're wired differently, therefore you worry and overanalyze your thoughts. Again, this is why it is so important to keep up with treatment for your OCD.
Let us know how you're doing!
Just to clarify...you said you masturbated "over" your cousin. I assume you mean by thinking of her? If you meant that you actually masturbated in her presence, then I would be a bit more concerned, because you could be crossing lines. Cousin or not, unwanted exposure or advances is sexual harrassment and could find you in some trouble. If these were your thoughts (which is what it sounds like), I agree with the above posters that it isn't much to be kicking yourself for. Sexual fantasies can be quite intense, and if we all shared with people the things we have fantasized about, we'd all be put away. :0) Imagining and acting out your fantasies are two totally different things.
People without OCD recognize sexual fantasies for what they are, and don't typically have a lot of regrets about them. Because of your OCD, you're wired differently, therefore you worry and overanalyze your thoughts. Again, this is why it is so important to keep up with treatment for your OCD.
Let us know how you're doing!
Wow thanks guys! I feel a hell of alot better now : > Not going to let my OCD wreck my life anymore, I've had enough of worrying about silly irrational things my OCD comes up with. It's a relief to know there 's people out there who have similar problems : ) and again thanks everyone! Mark
You'd be surprised the kind of fantasies people have when masturbating! Its perfectly normal,loads of people think about family members too. I know a girl who for some reason thinks of her dad. Fantasies are just that;fantasies,what happens in your head is never wrong,its your actions that matter. Lily
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I myself have tokophobia- never been pregnant or had a baby, not even in a relationship at the moment , but I obsess over childbirth.I begin to hyperventilate when I look at a pregnant woman. So, you see, this is common with OCD patients.
As for your incestuous thoughts, I don't know about masterbating to a family member, but I have found my uncle very attractive. In fact, I am certain if he was my age and not related, I'd be in a relationship with him. It is not at all uncommon to have these thoughts. My aunt had feelings for her first cousin for a long time. Forgive yourself-its not like you are going to actually sleep with her. Try to put these feelings behind you. Maybe look for a celebrity crush or some girl around the neighbourhood to masterbate to! Don't worry- you are not a bad person.
I agree with JGF25. There is NOTHING a therapist hasn't heard before. They even have sons who find their mothers attractive, or daughters who have slept with their fathers coming in to talk to them. They are not there to judge- they are only there to help. This is not like a regular doctor. Their job is to be nice and non-judgemental.