Aa
Is it anxiety? or is that what my alcoholic husband mistakes it for when he can't drink?
My husband drinks too much. Way too much. I suppose that I enable him to drink as much as he does, by staying home with our 3 yr old while he stays out 4 to 5 nights a week drinking. The days that he doesn't drink, he says he has anxiety attacks. He gets xanax (sp?) from a friend, and then ends up drinking anyways. My question is could the anxiety be a symptom of his heavy drinking? I know it doesn't help. Or does he drink because of the anxiety? I just don't even feel like I know who he is anymore, and our relationship is nearing it's end. I just don't even know what to do any more. I am afraid that he will mix too much alcohol with the pills, and that I'll find him dead one morning.
Jenny
your husband is probably an alcoholic. it does not matter what drug he takes beer, vodka, xanax. he is self medicating with the booze and whatever else. you do not catch alcoholism from drinking, he drinks because he is an alcoholic. the drinking is a symptom of the disease. alcoholism and depression are hereditary. if he is an alcoholic he has one way to recover and that is A.A. he will just be waisting his time doing anything else(only my opinion).
you are not responsible for his drinking and corousing, he is. you ARE responsible for what you choose to do about it. you may want to try going to some Alanon meetings. i dont know, do you drink? do you take mood altering chemicals?
i am not a dr. but i have been an alcoholic and if he is one, that i know about. i sincerely hope that this works out for you, if you do go to alonon make sure you only seek advice from people who have been involved for many years at least 5. you can meet some great life saving people there but also some kooks who really need to be in AA and or serious therapy. again best of luck to you and i hope it all works out...kcdem
your husband is probably an alcoholic. it does not matter what drug he takes beer, vodka, xanax. he is self medicating with the booze and whatever else. you do not catch alcoholism from drinking, he drinks because he is an alcoholic. the drinking is a symptom of the disease. alcoholism and depression are hereditary. if he is an alcoholic he has one way to recover and that is A.A. he will just be waisting his time doing anything else(only my opinion).
you are not responsible for his drinking and corousing, he is. you ARE responsible for what you choose to do about it. you may want to try going to some Alanon meetings. i dont know, do you drink? do you take mood altering chemicals?
i am not a dr. but i have been an alcoholic and if he is one, that i know about. i sincerely hope that this works out for you, if you do go to alonon make sure you only seek advice from people who have been involved for many years at least 5. you can meet some great life saving people there but also some kooks who really need to be in AA and or serious therapy. again best of luck to you and i hope it all works out...kcdem
First of all, I want to know where you got this idea that YOU are enabling your husband to drink and do drugs simply because you stay at home with your child?
It sounds like your husband is the one with the very serious problem here. Unfortunately, with all stories, there are two sides to them. We have heard yours. Why do you think your husband goes out drinking 4-5 nights a week rather than spend time with you and your child?
He says he has anxiety attacks, but I'm taking a guess here that he has never been "formally" diagnosed with this disorder. Taking someone else's meds, especially Xanax and drinking is very dangerous behavior.
You ask if the drinking is driving his anxiety or the other way around. There is no way any of us here can answer that for you.
There are so many questions...........when did this all begin? Can you think back to a time just before his drinking began........what was going on in your lives at that time? Were you fighting? Were there money problems and was your staying home made a part of this problem? Did you begin to demand that he not go out? Did you begin to get angry that you were home all day with a three year old and then got no relief at night? No time for just YOU? Did you and your husband try to get out together?
Is there anyone you can talk to about this? Your parents? His parents? Your doctor? A clergy person? Have you talked to your husband about marriage counseling? Does he know you're about at your wits end with the relationship? Does he know about your concerns with his drinking and the drugs? Has he ever gotten violent with you? So many question marks! And I'm afraid I don't really have an answer for you, and you need one badly.
I would suggest having a very honest talk with your husband about all of your concerns. Tell him you'd like him to see a doctor about his anxiety and drinking. It may not get you anywhere, but at least you will have tried to keep the communication going. That's all you can do, I think, at this point. If that fails, then you need to seriously think about your options. You're not in a healthy relationship and you apparently are going to have to be the strong one here. I urge you to seek some kind of therapy to help you deal with this.
Perhaps a call to the Dept. of Health and Welfare could steer you to the help you need? Tell someone you trust what is going on...........you need some help to carry this load.
Please stay with us. Let us know how you are. I'm hoping someone else on here will have a solution for you.
Take care of yourself and your child. And know that someone is always here.
Peace
Greenlydia
It sounds like your husband is the one with the very serious problem here. Unfortunately, with all stories, there are two sides to them. We have heard yours. Why do you think your husband goes out drinking 4-5 nights a week rather than spend time with you and your child?
He says he has anxiety attacks, but I'm taking a guess here that he has never been "formally" diagnosed with this disorder. Taking someone else's meds, especially Xanax and drinking is very dangerous behavior.
You ask if the drinking is driving his anxiety or the other way around. There is no way any of us here can answer that for you.
There are so many questions...........when did this all begin? Can you think back to a time just before his drinking began........what was going on in your lives at that time? Were you fighting? Were there money problems and was your staying home made a part of this problem? Did you begin to demand that he not go out? Did you begin to get angry that you were home all day with a three year old and then got no relief at night? No time for just YOU? Did you and your husband try to get out together?
Is there anyone you can talk to about this? Your parents? His parents? Your doctor? A clergy person? Have you talked to your husband about marriage counseling? Does he know you're about at your wits end with the relationship? Does he know about your concerns with his drinking and the drugs? Has he ever gotten violent with you? So many question marks! And I'm afraid I don't really have an answer for you, and you need one badly.
I would suggest having a very honest talk with your husband about all of your concerns. Tell him you'd like him to see a doctor about his anxiety and drinking. It may not get you anywhere, but at least you will have tried to keep the communication going. That's all you can do, I think, at this point. If that fails, then you need to seriously think about your options. You're not in a healthy relationship and you apparently are going to have to be the strong one here. I urge you to seek some kind of therapy to help you deal with this.
Perhaps a call to the Dept. of Health and Welfare could steer you to the help you need? Tell someone you trust what is going on...........you need some help to carry this load.
Please stay with us. Let us know how you are. I'm hoping someone else on here will have a solution for you.
Take care of yourself and your child. And know that someone is always here.
Peace
Greenlydia
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