Horrible reaction to Lexepro... I'm desperate for answers

[Shirleyad]

I have always had some sort of anxiety, even as a kid. I'd worry about dying, washing my hands, never waking up, ect. But it NEVER affected my ability to function and I'd soon loose interest in my worries, and move on.  

I'm 17 now, and about 7 months ago I smoked marijuana at a party. I had my first panic attack, which I just assumed was the effects of the marijuana and I decided I'd never smoke again. It took about a week for the after affects of the panic such as the derealization and fogginess to go away, but I had talked to a friend or two and they said I was fine and they've understood that to happen to some people. It was scary nonetheless, but it passed. I felt it was a punishment for doing something stupid on my part.

Before then, in February I started taking Generess for birth control. It affected my mood greatly, and in June I was a nervous wreck. I cried over the littlest things, and I obsessed over things that didn't matter. I stopped Generess mid-month in June after taking it for 4 months and had a huge panic attack.  I thought I was dying (I didn't know this was a panic attack, just like I didn't know when I smoked that I had a panic attack, nor did I compare the two experiences until later) I was certain I was having a heart attack, and immediately begged my aunt (who I was staying with for the summer) to take me to the ER. My uncle who has a panic disorder, automatically knew what was going on and calmed me down. after about 20 min, all of the nerves were gone and we just chalked up the attack to stopping my birth control so suddenly.

I went home in July, and I was absolutely fine. I started Beyaz, and it worked for me.  I was happy and go lucky, just as I've always been. I'm not an average teen, I'm 2nd in my class, I have a 4.6 GPA, and the reason I was staying with my aunt was because of an internship opportunity with a research facility. I've always been known to be really hard on myself, and I'm always pointed towards 100% and being in control. (I thought my worries actually helped me achieve success)

but since around August, I've been excessively hard on myself.. Junior year is the hardest they say.. I've been questioning my abilities to make my boyfriend (of a year) happy, questioning my ability to make my parents happy, and questioning myself in silly petty things like "why am I not first in my class? Can't I work harder? Am I being a good girlfriend/friend/sister/daughter?

I've been crying for no reason, and I've been making things hard on my relationships with those I love the most.

One night in August I woke up in sheer panic, and I was in some sort of sleep-paralysis. I was awake in my mind, but I couldn't move my body or wake myself up for about a minute. I had my next panic attack.. I woke my mom up and I slept with her that night, but the next morning I was completely fine.

I continued to be hard on myself, until about 3 weeks ago from today I was in class taking notes and I started to feel sick to my stomach, I began to drink water, but the feeling got worse and worse. I thought maybe the water had been spiked or something since I had left it in another class unattended.. I had yet another full blown panic attack and had to run out of the room to call my mom to talk me down from the episode.. I was very shaky and very frightened the rest of the day, and since my panicking was causing trouble at school, we decided it was time to seek medical help.

I went to the doctor 2 weeks ago and she prescribed me 10mg of lexepro. Since anxiety runs in my family, she was concerned I had a lack of serotonin and always will, ect. Ect.

I was scared to try the lexepro because I read about the side effects, but the next day I tried it in the afternoon after dispelling my worries because ultimately it was supposed to help me right?

Dead wrong.

I got so dizzy, so lightheaded, and a burning sensation throughout my entire body. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think, my palms were sweaty, my pupils were dilated, I was nauseous, and my jaw was clenching so tight I had to talk through my teeth to plead with my mom to take me to the ER IMMEDIATELY. I couldn't stop shaking, and it felt like utter hell. The ER doctor said I was hyperventilating, and gave me a klonopin to calm down. I did calm down but I was so loopy and out of it, that I conked out as soon as I got home.

The next night we tried taking the lexepro again, since the doctor at the ER said I hyperventilated because of my anxiety and NOT the medication.

Dead wrong.

This time the effects were 100000 times worse, I was hallucinating, the klonopin only made it to where I couldn't keep my eyes open, and I felt like my body was burning and being electrified at once.

I went to the initial doctor the next morning in tears. I couldn't take that awful poison any longer. I have never been so afraid in my entire life. My panic episodes had never been so severe. It was like the medication was poisoning me.

The doctor then prescribed me zoloft since my mom does well on it.. But I literally CANNOT handle another reaction like the one I had on lexepro.

Since taking lexepro, I've not been the same person. Everyone said its out of my system by now, but I'm in a fog, I don't feel real, I've lost so much weight, and I can't go to school without panicking. I've actually gotten SO much better than I was last week, but my parents are so concerned about me that they and my doctor are trying to force the zoloft down my throat.

I can't. I can't do it.

I'm so afraid.

I just want to be who I used to be before all of this. I was never EVER in this state before taking the lexepro. The few panic episodes I did have, only lasted a few minutes and then I could be myself. I'd rather deal with worrying about grades and feeling like a disappointment to everyone and myself SOMETIMES, than feel like this

I feel like the lexepro messed me up somehow. No one believes me, but I know that I was never this bad off

Please, I need answers. Will I be like this forever?? Will this dizzy, foggy feeling ever go away? I know I've made improvements and I can sleep and eat and do a bit of homework now, but I need to know if ill ever be normal again

I'm only 17 and I feel like there is no way out

Please help, I need answers other than "take another SSRI" because I feel the SSRI is what caused this hell I'm living in.

Please answer soon.

I' m losing my mind.

I'm losing my hope

[nursegirl6572]

Hello and welcome!  I'm so sorry you're struggling so much.

Your story reads like most of ours in how you've always been anxious, and then at some point, you started having panic attacks.  Panic attacks can be debilitating and take a lot out of you, without a doubt.

It seems pretty clear that Lexapro definitely wasn't for you.  It's so unfortunate that you had that experience, because now you find yourself fearing medication in general.  While multiple medications may be in the same class (SSRI), they DO all work very differently.  One medication may be a nightmare for a person, and another, a savior.  It's very tough, and of course you're afraid.

I know you don't want to consider taking another medication after what happened (and I don't blame you), but I wanted to tell you that there ARE indeed ways to try another medication and be proactive about how you may tolerate the medication and any side effects.  

For starters, the lower the dose you start at, the better.  I personally feel it's best to taper up to the desired dose slowly, especially for someone who has had a negative experience with another medication.  Also, it can be very helpful to take a short-term course of an anti-anxiety medication, Like Xanax or Ativan.  Those are good meds to be used as rescue meds, to take when anxiety/panic becomes very severe.  They also can be very helpful while a person is adjusting to an antidepressant.  Ask your doc about that as well.  (Also, make sure your treatment is being managed by a child/adolescent psychiatrist).

I know you're frightened and don't want to try the Zoloft, but I would recommend giving it a shot, mainly because like I said before, all of these meds work very differently, and TRULY you may do very well with it.  

The main problem you will face now is to try to prevent an automatic anxious reaction.  That's common.  Once a person begins to develop sort of a med phobia, they end up having an anxious/panic reaction after taking something, because they've convinced their brain that's what is going to happen.  That's where the anxiolytic would be very helpful.  You could take the as needed anxiety medication to get you through at least the initial adjustment period, until you could see that you won't have the same experience that you had with the Lexapro.

Also, a lot of people who have had a horrendous experience with a medication are convinced the medication has somehow "damaged" them, or "changed" them.  While there is no guarantee with medications, that's HIGHLY unlikely.  It's more likely that you're suffering from a very severe level of anxiety and panic, and the anxiety is presenting itself a little differently than what you're used to.  Anxiety is known to change and morph into a different presentation at different times, so it becomes more difficult to identify what's anxiety and what's not.

Also, therapy is a BIG must in any anxiety treatment plan, and for you, I would make that priority one.  Try to find a therapist well versed in CBT, or cognitive behavioral therapy.  CBT is very helpful for anxiety sufferers.  You definitely have issues that need to be worked on, like the type A personality.  It's fabulous that you're an overachiever and that you are determined to do your best, but obviously, you're taking those traits to an extreme, to the point where it's causing you a lot of undue stress.

I'm sure this isn't what you wanted to hear, but I DO truly think you should give the Zoloft a try.  Ask to start at a LOW dose (usual starting dose is 25-50mg, you could start at 12.5mg).  Then, if you do okay, after a week or two, you can gradually taper up small increments.  Also, ask about an anti-anxiety medication for now.  Your anxiety is off the charts, you definitely need something to help bring that down a bit.  Sit down with the doc and formulate a plan.

I wish you the very best.  Please keep posting.  You're among people here who totally understand and who have been where you are.  We know how hard it is, you're NOT alone.  Let us know what you decide to do, and keep us updated.  We'll support you every step of the way, okay?

[Marthaelisa80]

Hi. I just want u to know I have experienced similar things when a doctor put me on lexepro. I was sick 2 yrs ago. Physically something I knew was wrong.  But the dr could not find anything wrong with me so he figured I was depressed.  When I took the lexepro that night I had a horrible nightmare that I woke up in a panic attack.  I felt crazy and started to cry. I knew if I'd continue taking it I would really lose it. I told my dr. He said only take 1/2 the pill so my body could adjust.  But I refused. Fast foward. I went to er for pain because I knew something physical was wrong which was causing my anxiety to go up. They ended up finding out I had a bad gallbladder which was causing my physical symptoms that caused my anxiety to go up.  I had surgery the pain in my body was gone and my anxiety faded. I am normal I don't take meds. I like you can worry about so much. So what I do is only focus on one day at a time.  I ask myself "what needs to be done (only) today?" I make a to do list and try to get things that are on that list done. You will recover :) trust me I was in bed stairing at the ceiling for days. Crying thinking I was going nuts! Lol But here I am going to have a baby in a few days and happy. So everything is going to be okay!  :) you are not alone.