Is this normal?

[Jonn37]

OK, I will try to keep this as short as possible.
I have seen 2 psycologists over the past 10 years due to having constant worries that really affect my life.  I get a worry in my head and when that worry comes it is like I feel it click into my brain and then stays there.  It then consumes me and I think of nothing else.  I then have the most awful heavy knot sensation in the pit of my stomach and constantly evaluate the situation trying to free myself of the feelings.  It can be about anything e.g. work, health, upsetting a friend etc.  The first psycologist diagnosed OCD and prescribed Fluxotine (which I am still on) and the second diagnosed GAD.  I don't see either of them any more because neither were helping.
That is my background and now the question.
I recently lost my job and had a HIV scare (which caused a massive amount of anxiety) which I have just tested negative for.
Last Monday I went out and got really drunk with some friends and I lost my friends.  I remember most of the evening but some of it is a blur.  I remember looking for sex but honestly do not remember having sex with anyone.  There are parts of the night it could have happened that I have no memory of, but I do have flashbacks about most of the night.   I am now so terrified that i did have sex with someone and that I had unprotected anal sex (I am gay) and that i now have HIV.  I just can't get this thought out of my head and I know that i must take a test to see if this happened.  In the meantime whilst waiting for this test I am just in absolute torment about whether this happened and if I have HIV.  I just can't think of anything else and I don't know how to get out of this mental torture until I do the test.  Is this rational thinking in the circumstances, i.e. what I have done.  I just don't know???  Would you be this worried?

[Jonn37]

Thanks for the reply.

I don't know whether I did actually have sex with anyone.  I don't remember having sex with anyone but I am obsessed that i might have done and don't remember

[torileeee]

I understand what you mean, I would be worried too having sex with someone I didn't know and not remembering any part of it. I get freaked out if I have sex with someone I do know, and the first thing that comes to mind is... omg I could have an STD now.. I could try to keep your mind off it as best as you can. try finding a new hobby until you're retested.