For the last few months I have been really scared I am prodromal schizophrenic. I made the stupid mistake of experimenting with LSD, marijuana, and mdma over the summer and I think it has either a) given me an anxiety disorder or b) started the beginning of psychosis. The problem is that I see "floaters", little diffraction patterns caused by debris between your iris and retna all the time (even when not looking at a blue sky). I also constantly ruminate on how long this is going to go on, if I am psychotic and my life will be ruined, what I need to do to prevent this, etc. I also have been doing tons of research online in reading psychiatry journals and the like which I think has made me worse because when I read a symptom of schizophrenia, I start thinking I have it (I used to think I couldn't track slow moving objects well with my eyes). I am not experiencing delusions, auditory hallucinations, or visual hallucinations (aside from the floaters which arn't really a hallucination as much as my mind not being able to tune them out), or thought disorders. Obviously the best thing to do is go see a psychiatrist for an evaluation but just from what I have told you here, what are the chances that this is prodromal schizophrenia rather than just an anxiety disorder? This is my first year of grad school and I am worried my life is ruined!!! (I am 23 years old)
I did the same thing when I was your age because my mom has a mental illness. I was terrified. I have lifelong anxiety problems. I worry constantly. For me, that's all it was, though. Nothing serious. It's most likely the same for you. I did exactly what you are doing. I tried to test my eye-tracking ability, and I tried to give myself a Stroop test to evaluate the functioning of my prefrontal cortex.
There IS something you can do, though. Never do drugs again, of course, stay away from any kind of de-personalizing meditation practices like TM, and start taking fish oil. Take enough pills to get at least 1 gram (1000 milligrams) of EPA. Most pills contain about 200 mg of DHA and about 400 mg of EPA, so you need to take at least 3 a day. More will not hurt.
There was a recent study of two groups of kids between the ages of 14 and 24 who were at high risk of developing schizophrenia because of previous hallucinations or delusions that did not qualify for a formal diagnosis of schizophrenia. One group took fish oil, the other group took a placebo. 30% of the placebo group developed schizophrenia while 3% of the fish oil group developed the illness. As you can tell, that's a highly statistically significant difference. It really works.
The first thing to do is see a neurologist to know if there is any permanent harm from the recreational drugs. Then they can see if a consult with a psychiatrist is needed as well which is probable. As for fish oil I've taken it but its used primarily for mood stabilization. It really can't serve as a first line antipsychotic. The anti-cholesterol medication Lovaza which contains the same chemical mechanism as fish oil is being used experimentally for bipolar disorder. For schizophrenia, they use antipsychotics and use mood stabilizers as adjuncts if a person has schizoaffective disorder or bipolar with psychotic features. As for myself I am recovered with glycine, a glutamate antagonist a new class of medications in Phase II FDA study but those have not been finalized into actual medications yet. But having been through the experience of schizoaffective disorder I know what its like and that treatment is neccesary. However, as for the recreational drugs, I would strongly suggest going to a recovery group as staying away from them is neccessary as well.
Ok, first thing, dont stress too much about it and stop looking stuff up on the net!! Just thinking that you might have it is enough to make you crazy. I am just like you, i see these floaters quite often. Ive never really thought about what they are though, thats probably because im always worrying too much about brain tumors. Like you, i havent had any real hallucinations, but i am convinced that im about to die, sometimes to the point where im completely psychotic about it, so i worry about becoming schizophrenic too. I wouldnt worry too much about the drugs doing any huge damage but i would stop taking them. I took a huge amount of drugs when i was in my teens and yes it probably has contributed to my anxiety worse but i had anxiety long before i took drugs, so it wasnt caused by it. Are you on any meds? I took betas blockers for a bit and they made me crazy. Could you tell me what other symptoms you have.
Keep in touch and send me a msg if you like.
If you worry about dying an extreme amount of the time, it would be good to see a therapist and probably a consult to a psychiatrist. Schizophrenia isn't something that happens overnight. It happens gradually but once you are fully psychotic and have a break from reality its harder to approach treatment when you are not rational. And what you described could be depression with psychotic features as well. Or a variety of mental illnesses. But I remember when I acquired by primary psychiatric disability, schizoaffective disorder, the first thing that hit me was a terrifying fear of death. And now that I'm recovering from what they are identifying as tardive psychosis and there were feelings that were dissociative and in another world and depression and death were part of that as well. I knew the feelings were abnormal but I didn't know what it was like not to have them and in both cases all I can say is I'm glad they are gone. Schizophrenia or schizoaffective or depression with psychotic features is nothing to be afraid of. Its just part of your life. But one that needs addressing. And if those feelings overwhelm you worth taking medication for. And certainly worth seeing a therapist for and then perhaps getting a diagnosis from a psychiatrist and deciding what to do from there. But coming to terms with it is essential. And yes I took beta blockers as side effect pills and they caused depression and hallucinations and personality changes in me. If they were used for your anxiety or something else they would not be the class of medications to go back to then but there are many other medications out there. I have a full knowledge myself and could give you some informational links if you decide to see a psychiatrist so you can up to date on the latest and innovative treatment. This is for the person who responded not the original poster.
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