Is this really all in my head???

[shaunanagins]

About 2 years ago, I started having palpitations. I went to the doctor and he told me that my cholesterol was dangerously high (I'm 26, 6'4'', and 155 lbs.). Since then I have changed my diet completely, started taking fish oil daily and have dropped my cholesterol from 254 to 180, which the doctor says is a good number. The palpitations still happen (not near as severe or as often). Anyway, I used to be a regular marijuana smoker and about 6 months ago I smoked with a friend and started getting this pain in my chest. It scared me a bit, but not enough to go back to the doctor. I didn't smoke again for a while, but then about a month later I smoked again and had the same pain. So I quit smoking all together (I smoke cigarettes still though). About two months ago the pain came back without smoking and didn't go away. Sometimes it will be on the left side (most often), but other times it will be on the right side and sometimes on/around my sternum. I went back to the doctor and he told me that the pain could be caused by anxiety and panic attacks. I had an EKG done and the doc said that there were abnormalities that he thought could be related to my thyroid, but my blood work showed that my thyroid was fine. He then sent me to have an echo cardiogram. The doctor that reviewed the echo (not the same doc) said that the doc that did the ekg thought that ekg had shown that I had already had a heart attack, but according to the echo, that was not the case. He said that according to my echo, my heart was fine but he wants to do a stress test to be sure (scheduled for 5/14/12), but he was almost positive that my heart was fine. Then, more recently, I noticed some sort of discomfort when taking a deep breath. I don't really know how to explain it...wasn't a pain really....just abnormal...it felt like something wasn't right. I've noticed it a couple more times since then too. My doctor went through 2 prescriptions before he put me on .5 mg xanax. The pain goes away with the xanax and the palpitations too, in fact I haven't noticed the breathing...situation, either. Since the pain has gotten better, I've been more active, I cut back on how much I smoke (trying to quit), barely drink anymore (used to drink nearly 10 beers a night...am now drinking my second beer in 4 days to try to cope), and have ran nearly a mile every day for the past 3 days. Now to the part that is troubling me. I have been on the xanax for nearly two months now, and sometimes when I take the amount that I'm supposed to (1 pill three times daily), the pain won't go away. There have been many times this month that I have had to "double up" just to get the pain to go away. Because of that I do not have enough xanax to take even the recommended amount for the remainder of the month. So...today I tried to go without taking any just so I can take at least 1 or 2 for the remainder of the month. I have had the pain all day, I had a palpitation, and experienced the breathing problem all in one day without xanax. I am not trying to catch a buzz from the xanax, in fact I do not like the "high" you get from xanax at all (took about 1.5-2 mgs when I was 18 and didn't want to move or get out of bed for about 2 days). So... I guess my questions are 1) can all these pains and discomforts (especially the breathing thing) be caused by anxiety and 2) If it all is anxiety, how can I go about asking my doc for a slightly higher dosage that hopefully won't affect me in a way that I don't want (as I explained before) without him thinking I'm just another addict or dealer or something? I have an extremely stressful job, and I have always had problems with depression, anxiety, etc. I just want to feel normal, live healthier, and not be scared every day.

[remar]

This does sound like anxiety if the pain and palps go away when you take the Xanax. I would recommend you talking to your Dr about a longer acting anti anxiety med. Xanax is great for panic attacks, but it can be additive and you start to need more.
That is so great that you were able to get your cholesterol done with diet and exercise. The best of luck to you too with quitting smoking.
We're to listen and help anyway we can.

[shaunanagins]

Thanks alot. Most people in my life don't seem to care or understand what is going on with me. Good to have someone listen. I appreciate that.

[lindahand]

Benzo's are not recommended long term. They have two issues, one you are likely already experiencing. Addiction and tolerance. Which are often confused. Addiction is seeking a drug for the high it brings, benzo's at too high a dose can do this. Tolerance is where the body gets used to the drug so you have to take more and more to get the same effect. You are not addicted in the sense that you aren't getting a 'high' but you can eventually reach a plateau where they don't work anymore. For a longer term solution you may want to try an antidepressant like Cipralex.

There are stress reduction techniques you can learn from a psychologist who specializes in anxiety (most of them do have training in anxiety). Even things like guided meditations, and progressive muscle relaxation can bring about relief.Cognitive behavioural therapy is also very helpful.

I didn't get control of my anxiety until I stopped relying on benzo's. I was taking more and more and they weren't helping. With the help of a good therapist I learned how to talk myself out of panic attacks.  When I feel one starting now I talk to myself in certain ways and they go away.

I still struggle with general anxiety (tight chest muscles, shallow breathing, etc.) when stress is high. I recently had a recurrence. But it is because I am not doing appropriate self care, mentally or physically. Anxiety for me is an indicator that I have to get my mental and physical health house in order.

[shaunanagins]

Thank you so much for that recommendation. I will definitely talk to my doctor about that. I've tried deep meditation and normally I feel better, but then any one bad thing that happens sets the pain off again. I think I just need to concentrate on relieving myself of the things that stress me out so much. Even though some of those things are so important in my life. Thank you for the response. I think what I really need is a psychologist but things like that are hard when you don't have insurance. Maybe just someone to talk too...I just read this back to myself....I'm in pretty bad shape right now. Again...it's good to have someone listen and seem concerned. Thank you.

[lindahand]

Here they have something called Family Services, which provides free counselling for people with reduced incomes - although there is quite a wait for it - a year I think. If you call around, and it may be a lot of calls, some centres operate on something called a sliding scale. So if you make more money you pay more, but if you are lower income you pay less.

It is a lot of money, but if it will help you cope, and stay in your job, probably a good investment. Its like schooling, it is something that will help you for life - but it will cost you.

I have a friend that registers in one university class a year because the university offers free counselling to students and the cost of the class is cheaper than the therapy would be.

Its also a good idea to ask beforehand what kind of therapy they do so you don't waste your dough. For example pure fruedian therapy is many sessions a week over many months sometimes years. Whereas cognitive behavioral therapy is usually once every couple of weeks, and is usually shorter term. Cognitive behavioral therapy is consider the best for anxiety. Mindfulness therapy is something some people I know have found helpful as well.

I am sorry you are in such bad shape. Learning about anxiety and getting some help really made a big difference in my life.

[shaunanagins]

Thank you again. I will check around to see what my options are. You have been very helpful, and I appreciate that.