BEYOND fed up & pissed!!!

[yourangel23]

I have been suffering with anxiety attacks since I was 13. I'm now 30. I have had the common bs symptoms that everyone else seems to have BUT there are other things people don't.. At least I don't know. That why I'm trying this route. This is my first attempt at an online effort for help.
After YEARS of freaking out & living each day like I was going to die at some moment in each I'm STILL living this way. Life is getting harder & more difficult. Each attack is SO real & different is some way. How I ask myself? No clue. I'm fed up with feeling like I'm going to pass out 100x a day. Never sleep. No joy, etc...
At any given moment my head will start buzzing & I will start feeling totally out of my own mind. I can't breathe, I can't think, My right arm gives out, I'm numb, Both my hands start to curl up from hyperventilating, I can't see good, Can't hear good, Extreme feeling of death/doom... Etc... I have gone by ambulance SOOOO many x's they ALL know me by name. ER too. It's humiliating & nobody takes me seriously. I went from doing mtv music videos to not being able to step into a club with dim lighting or flashy lights.
Here's my newest dilema & I HOPE somebody out there in this world can relate!
I think I might be having seizures. I can't tolerate any kind of fast movement, tv's at night, driving at all, etc. Talking on my cell phone makes it worse. I have had MRI's, EEG's, Pounds of blood taken from me, prob 50+ EKG's, etc. All fine. Well, I'm NOT fine people! You don't just faint bc you sit in a car & the cars look too fast & your brain starts freaking out & can't compute the movement. I'm so absolutely sick of sitting home. They are now telling me several diff. diseases... P.O.T.S disease which DOES match my life, SVT, Vasovagal Episodes, & panick attacks bc of all I'm dealing with. I'm now going to the Cleveland Clinic to see a P.O.T.S specialist... I HOPE TO GOD she can help. Please let me know if this is your life. I'm tired of living this way & WANT to get better. NO meds have EVER helped only made me worse. Alcohol makes me worse. Anything that should help... Makes it worse. I feel helpless & I'm losing precious time with my family. Trips even to the grocery store are un-thought of at this point. I'm so over this.

[RubyWitch]

Wow! Your life ***** and I can certainly understand why you'd be pissed off that in 17 YEARS not one single person has recommended that you get your butt into some heavy duty therapy. You mention a hundred different medical tests, trips to the ER where "everybody knows your name,"  ambulance rides, on and on..........but there is no mention of any therapy. You have what I would describe, in my totally non-medical opinion, a MASSIVE case of panic disorder. I can so easily relate to all your symptoms. I have PTSD and severe panic disorder and it took YEARS for anyone to give me that DX. I too was 13 when my panic began and I was nearly 30 when I finally met a doctor who recognized my symptoms, gave them a name and put me on the the road to recovery. I'd gotten really sick and tired of being told I was a "nervous nellie," or an "anxious annie,"  and worst of all, a silly hypochondriac! How bloody insulting.
I had begun to believe I was going insane since my symptoms were very real, but nobody believed me either.
I hope that this specialist at the CC will get to the bottom of what is going on with you. And even if, after all the tests, you wind up with a DX of anxiety/panic, then they can get you on the correct meds and into therapy and you can begin to get on with your life.....but like me, you will never get all the years back wasted in suffering and fear. I'm 58 now and the past 28 years have been good...........but without the correct treatment, the right therapy and the right meds, I don't think I would have made it. If I can do it, so can you!
You're going to be OK. This will sound lame, I know, but try to relax and know that you're going to one of the best hospitals and you will get the help, the hope and the answers you need.
And we are always here................
I wish you the very best
Peace
Greenlydia