My story goes like this:
About a year and a half ago I started to get these really weird symptoms. I am a former drug user, and smoked a bunch of weed and did a bunch of extasy, so i thought those were just the normal siedeffects of these drugs, but ive been clean for about two years now and these symptoms still persist and no one of my friends has these symptoms. I was so depressed and frustrated, i went to doctors, neurologist, and homepaths and all of them didnt have a clue, they put me on this type of medication and that type of medication, i trusted them but all that they could tell me was: "try these for 2 months and youll be fine." but It didnt work and i started getting angry at these people, all they want is money, and theyll give you a quick fix, that wil leave you damaged longterm, so you can come back to them. I got MRIs, and CT scans, and Bloodtest, and Urine Test and so on, but everything was textbook perfect with me (according to them).So i started to study all I can study, started reading medical journal, and all i can get a hold of, changed my diet (and that helpd loads, but it didnt cure me), and started to research day and night, and heck i learned alot, but i still dont have the cure. But recently ive been looking up magnesium and anxiety, and somehow everything seems to fit together like a puzzle, but there is still one piece missing ?
Now to my symptoms:
Everything began with weird muscle twitching, or muscle spasm. I used to get it sometimes before, but this one was different. It was on top of my foot, and i even went to a doctor for that, and she was puzzled because she said there isnt that much muscle on top of the foot, but i still had it quit regularly (like every 5 minutes) and i started to get it at other random places on my body too.
And another really weird symptom is i got numb in my hands and feet. Especially when i drink alcohol (which i dont anymore) and sometimes just like that, it would feel like i would be wearing gloves filled with sand in them (like the feeling would be all distorted) and it would sometimes last for days, scary! And i started getting migraines, like pressure headaches (thats why i did the CT) and they were really bothering me and were really intense. but i went about my business and didnt care that much about it.
Until i got heavy panic attacks, and the reason why i say heavy, is because it wasnt the usual pre-exam, or pre-date nervousness or anxiety, these attacks were like shotgun blows. I remember one was in the middle of the night and there was a thunderstorm, but it wasnt raining in our area nor could you hear the thunder, i only saw the lightning, and i freacked out. My leg started shaking violently, i went to the bathroom and i almost tripped, i splashed cold water on my face, and started praying to God, (eventhough im not religious), and i get this feeling where i just have to run away real fast and its soo intense, its almost like somebody is holding a knife next to your neck, but you cant run away, you cant escape. And Im a very logical person so i started to exam this feeling and found the center of it to be under your ripcage like where you stomache is (its kinda like that butterflys in your stomach feeling but really intense and not positive). I tried to explain it to people, i dont have anxiety because im not thinking about anything when this happens, its my body that makes me feel like this, but everybody just said you have to relax, think positive blablabla
And the feeling started to become constant, a constant tingling, or energy, (hell i dont know how to describe it in words) centering in the middle of my body. And then the usual panic symptoms came along (palpitaion, derealization, depersonalization, depression, low immune system: within six months i got sick five times) plus i got dizzy alot especially in the morning and lightheaded, and i feel feverish alot of times. man you got to be a warrior to combat all these symptoms, but i dont want to be one i want to feel good!!!
So i started researching and stumbled upon magnesium. and when i look at the symptoms of magnesium deficiency and i look at mine i can see so many similarites.
Muscle Twitching, Panic, Restlessness, Nervousness, Anxiety, Numbness, Tingeling, Migraines, Paraesthisia, Dizziness, low immune system and so on.
I even read somewhere that you crave chocolate for some reason when you have low magnesium, hell i cant even walk past a vending machine without gettin a snickers or two, but i dont really like anyother candy.
So i thought magnesium was the cure, and that i needed magneisum, and i eat a pretty good diet, loads of fruits and vegetables, especially them leafy greens. I bought a supplement called Magnesium Citrate (they say thats the best), and everything was gonna be alright....
when i started taking the supplement, i started to feel all of the symptoms get worse, especially the migraines, it was really bad probably the worst that it has ever been. and i took it for 8 days, and today is the 10th day so i didnt take it for 2 days because it was pretty bad and i had to do alot of things (like meeting people) so i didnt want to be experimenting with something that had to be obvious: The Magnesium made it worse.
Im at a crossroad here, what should i do: i learned soo much, but im missing one tiny piece of puzzle to make this picture complete. please help.
It sounds like you've been on a real rollercoaster ride with your panic! I'm sorry to hear that, but you've stumbled into the right place! SO many of us here have been through exactly what you have been through. Let me try to address some of the info that is in your post.
For one, you said you've gone to a bunch of doctors. That's a good thing! It's a positive thing that the docs have ruled out any kind of physical ailment causing your symptoms! Did any of these docs include a psychiatrist? Who was Rx'ing the meds you tried? PCP or psych? A psych is really the best route when trying medications for things like anxiety and depression. Meds certainly aren't for everyone, but a LOT of people have had great success with them as well. They require a lot of patience during the adjustment phase, and many people throw in the towel early due to the side effects some experience. Unfortunately, for a lot of people like that, they didn't give the med a long enough time to trule assess fairly whether or not a med would be effective.
What you describe sounds like textbook panic attacks...were you ever officially diagnosed with one kind of anxiety disorder? Looks like you've tried a lot of treatment approaches, but I didn't see you mention therapy. Have you tried that? Specifically, CBT is a great form of therapy for people with panic disorder.
It's great that you did a lot of research, knowledge is POWER. You still seem to be searching for a "cure", and sadly, there isn't one cure for anxiety and panic, unless it IS related to an actual medical condition, which you've ruled out. While there may not be a cure-all for anxiety and panic, there ARE very effective treatments, again, one being therapy. Therapy is invaluable because it teaches you how to COPE when those panic attacks strike. Many people diagnosed with anxiety and panic will suffer with it for the rest of their lives on some level or another. Typically, anxiety kind of appears in cycles. Myself, I'll have YEARS of what I'll call "anxiety remission" and then all of a sudden, anxiety and panic rears its ugly head again. But, by learning how to deal with it and coming to accept that this is something I have to deal with, it becomes easier to address the anxiety when it shows up. For me, a combination or SSRI meds and therapy worked the best. The meds helped me control the symptoms and prevent a lot of attacks while the therapy empowered me to accept and deal with the panic.
As for what "causes" anxiety? It varies in everyone, and sometimes (many times) we don't ever really figure it out. In the end, the cause becomes less important that the actual treatment, unless you were dealing with some kind of past traumatic event. My guess for you would be that the drugs and/or alcohol triggered anxiety in you. This is VERY common, search the forum and you'll find loads of threads with people who went through the same thing. The drugs don't actualy cause anxiety or damage you or your brain but rather the sensations trigger a panic response which, once it happens for some people, is very hard to undo without help. Anxiety is anxiety and it needs to be addressed, most people just can't "snap out of it" or "just calm down" as you've clearly found out.
All of the symptoms you've described can be attributed to anxiety. You've obviously done a lot of searching, which is how you came up with the Magnesium theory. Truth is, most healthy people don't have imbalances of things like Mg significant enough to cause problems like that. Also, there would be a very easy way to find out, ask your doctor to do a lab test to see what your levels are. My bet is, it comes back totally normal...which is the problem with taking supplements for an imbalance you don't have. It can actually make the problem worse, which unfortunately seems to be the case with you.
My advice to you is to seek out some therapy to help you start learning how to cope with panic. It would be great if you could find an easy answer (and fix) as to WHY you have anxiety, but honestly, for most people, it just doesn't happen and there isn't a simple answer. People waste a lot of time searching hopelessly for a reeason when they could have been addressing the anxiety and starting to get better. Try to regroup your focus to treatment rather than finding a reason for what you're dealing with. Again, the post drug scenario is VERY common, and is the most logical in your case anyway.
Very best of luck, please let us know how you're doing!
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