How can I be more talkative?

[veggielover]

Hi, so when it comes to anxiety, for me its a little bit of social anxiety, its not so extreme but I feel like I have a really hard time starting conversations. I know that I am ultimately the only person who can change my habits, but I would really like some advice on this subject. For example, in my working environment, I work with one of my best friends who I feel totally comfortable with and I can talk to her anytime I feel like. The rest of the staff members Im trying to build stronger relationships with, and I have already hung out with them outside of work a few times. I have absolutely no problem conversing when I have a had a little to drink, I just open up and loosen up a lot more. This is the person I want to be like when Im sober, though. Why can I only open up when I drink? My main thing when Im at work is i really dont know what to talk about, and even if I do start a conversation, I dont know what to do when it dies down.
A little advice anyone? Thanks.

[veggielover]

Yes, I do think practice is the key. For me, its just actually getting up and doing it thats the hardest part, but Im really working on it because i want it to become easier!
What Im wondering is, is it ok to kind of make a list in your head of things you wanna talk about with another person? Or is completely ridiculous to pre-plan a conversation? I think for me it would be easier to make a list in my head, I guess no one know what goes on in your mind so its whatever is easier for me, huh?
Another thing is, if someone doesnt try starting conversations with me, does that mean that they dont want to be talking to me and that I shouldnt start a conversation with them? Does that make me look too pushy or something, cause really I would just want to be their friend?


Answers to any of my questions would be grrreatly appreciated!!
I appreciate the help, thank you so much!!

[cj29]

Talking in front of people can be a big task with many people.  I know this sounds kind of corny, but in many work environments/companies there are actually courses for public speaking because so many people are uncomfortable in groups they do not know.  Of course it is easier to talk to people when you have had a drink...alcohol lowers one's fears, but I don't think that is the way to go:).  For me, practice, practice, and more practice enabled me to become comfortable talking and engaging groups of people I did not know...keep us posted!