Wondering what I should do.

[Nicoole]

I'm not sure if this is the right forum, because I do not have an actual mental health diagnosis from a doctor, but such is life. I am a 17 year old female, and am healthy overall. However, for as long as I can remember I've been a worry-wart. At younger ages I would worry about small things like why my parents weren't proud of me, and I cried an average amount for a child. There was no problem with this, and I felt relatively normal. Lately, this worrying has gotten slightly more intense. I am constantly scared that everyone is judging me and talking behind my back. It feels as if everything I do - my actions, thoughts, words, and the way I carry myself - is the wrong decision. Often I am out of breath, nauseous, and sometimes get light-headed. Sometimes I have anxiety attacks in which I can't breathe, dry heave, and cry. Also, I sometimes self-harm when I believe I deserve punishment for a stupid thing I did. I do not scratch myself as much anymore, though, for fear of being found out. The other night I genuinely wanted to die for a second, but quickly shut that down. I built up the courage to tell my boyfriend about these problems, but told him to forget about it because he told me he was going to tell his mom. No one else knows about these issues. I do not want to get "professional help" or take medicine because other people will call me a drama queen or think I am a stereotypical stupid teenage girl. I was just wondering if there was anything I could do, because I have been feeling hopelessly stupid lately, and I just want to be normal.

[WWEFAN86]

You really do need to get professional help, i think maybe deep down you realise you have a problem, but if you admitted it you to yourself it would become real. Please just go to the DR and just see what they have to say, you don't have to take medications, just go for a talk, i really hope you do

[Paxiled]

You need professional help.  Sorry, but you do.  You need to find a good psychologist and find out why you're so unsure of yourself.  Drama queens and stupid teenagers are different from smart people who know when they need help, and I think the fact you wrote in on this forum means you know you need to get a handle on this before it becomes a chronic problem.  You don't need medication at this point, but you do need to learn how to cope.  Good luck.

[michigan07]

First and foremost never ever be afraid to seek treatment. Taking care of yourself is a priority and if you are harming yourself and not able to get through the day due to anxiety then seeking medical help can make things much more manageable. People can be judge-mental but your boyfriend seems to care and he wanted to help out in a way he thought was right and it's good to have someone to speak of these problems to but a professional can teach you techniques and provide therapy to help overcome what you are going through not just give medication. We are all different and experience life differently so don't get yourself caught up on what others may think. In fact if you ever receive therapy or take medication very few people would likely know unless they are told by you. So please help yourself by seeking the help from someone who can assist you through what you are going through. At the very least you don't know until you try. Good luck and take care.