may be anxiety

[roy86]

hi ..
i have gone thrugh my 3 months conclusive hiv test....n then when i decided to test once again at 4 month mark ...it came negatibe but i realised tht they might have used the syringe again ...i don't knw why ..n then after 2 or3 weeks ..i did go for a walk ...n just few steps away frm my home ...a cable is wound on the tree ..though the cable is not properly wound ..thus half of the cable is still in the air ..so whn i crossed tht tree ..i found i got a scratch ..might be cos of cabe ..cos it's not properly wound..but i don't why ..i feel like somebody poked needle in my arm...n it happened wth me 2 to 3 times ..it's obvious cos cable is bot properly wound..n then after few days i went to the barber shop ..n there i took a facial massage ..n  if i found tht he put his thumb on my lips or might be deeper in order to remove the massage cream..i don't why ..i feel like if he might be hiv n if he might have a cut on his thumb ..this could affect me ...i don't knw why dese things r happening to me ..may be cos after testing for hiv ..i m very protective for myself ..cos dese things have hhappened me bfore as well cos dese r normal..i mean scratch ..massage ..asin massage one has to massage thrugh hands only ..i don't knw.wht's happening wth me ..i feel helpless ...plz help me out ....

[nursegirl6572]

You're stuck in the anxiety cycle...you over over-inflating every little sensation and symptom due to your anxiety....and that just makes you more anxious...and round and round it goes.

With conclusive results and the fact that you truly cannot accept them and move on...it may be time to seek some professional help.  There is no shame in that...and you certainly do not have to live in fear...especially when your fear is irrational (as is a lot of ours are...ours meaning anxiety sufferers).  It sometimes takes a bit of help to work through it and re-train your thinking, so to speak.

You'll get past it...but you may need some help for a while...that is what I would personally recommend.

[roy86]

is any body dere ..im waiting for a response...

[roy86]

i need ur response....

[roy86]

hi..i have tried to move on n i was pleased talking with u but i don't knw something deep inside me ..makes me feel sick ....yesterday i gt 2 or 3 mole on my hand ..gt some running nose ..n i gt worried..n u knw why ..i don't knw ..wht to do ..even though iu have crossed window period .why m i so worried abut dese small things ..plz help me ..

[nursegirl6572]

I applaud you both for starting to try to move on...I understand how scary those fears can be...and SC...I sure hope that the nurse reassured you.  She is exactly right....health care workers have to look out for themselves as well as their patients.

I wish you both well in learning how to get past this.

[stupidcow]

  Roy isnt nursegirl a true angel. she has helped me alot and i belive she has helped you too. I rung the nurse again and she told me that me fear are irrational she told me that she would not touch a used needle for all the money in the world she said that she didnt want to be rude to me but they value their life as well and no chance could they be so clumsy....

[roy86]

yup..i keep posting here  n keep informing u abut my approach towards life..n thx to help me ...i truely appreciate ur concern ..

[nursegirl6572]

Be strong....you can beat this.  The mind is a tricky thing sometimes.  But, you can overcome it.

You are in my thoughts...and please keep us posted on how you are doing okay?  

[roy86]

thx to u ..tht really make make to calm a lil bit ..hopefully ..i wil be able to forget all dese things n lead my life normaly withut hiv fear n tension ....may god bless me ,,,give me the strength to fight my fear....

[nursegirl6572]

I'm so glad to hear it.  That's the one thing you've got going for you, is that you truly KNOW the fears aren't based in reality...they are simply fear driven.  HIV scares are, well frightening...but if you really understand the virus and how it is transmitted, you would know just how difficult it is to get.

Let us know how you're doing, okay?  Try to get your mind off of it...busy yourself with activities you enjoy....exercise, take a walk....all of those things will help to decrease the anxiety, and like you said, if in a few days you aren't improving, and the thoughts are still bothersome...then head to a therapist.

Best of luck to you.

[roy86]

i truely appeciate ur answer..i will try to get over wth it ..i do knw..dese r all my fears ...n u need to get over wth it ..n if won't be able to get over wth it within few days ..n thn i will definately refer to some therapist ...

[nursegirl6572]

Take a DEEEEEEP breath buddy.  Make some calls today....get yourself to a therapist.  You do not have to live with this level of fear.

I would accept a blood transfusion from you OR stupid cow.  That is how confident I am you are both fine.

I have worked in the health care industry for many years, and have actively worked with HIV+ and AIDS patients...caring for their every need, including any medical procedures they needed.  Casual contact does NOT cause transmission...and I have never caught anything more than a cold from any of my patients.

Getting a cut from something....kissing, the barber shop scenario, the blood draws, NONE of them are a risk.

[nursegirl6572]

I'll tell you the same thing I told stupid cow...your thoughts are toally irrational in nature.  HIV anxiety is actually fairly common...but you must learn to work through it, professionally, if you can't do it yourself.

The truth is...HIV is NOT an easy disease to get.  It is an extremely fragile virus...and the incidents you explained would not cause transmission.  I promise you.  You should be celebrating your negative test result.  The tests don't lie.

Please seek professional help if you cannot get over your fear.  There is no shame in that...and therapists would be able to help you re-train your way of thinking.  

You are in the right place...many here struggle with anxiety, and many have battled with exactly what you and stupid cow are going through.  I will bet every cent I have...my children, my husband (well, you can have him...lol)...that neither of you have HIV and have not been at risk.  Your tests are conclusive.  I hope you seek the help you need...because you do not have to live with this fear.

Hang in there....we're here for you.

[roy86]

come on guy's ..im waiting here for ur reply ..

[roy86]

plz help me out ...im getting paranoid ..

[roy86]

i knw..i don't have to think like bull **** ..n i never thought like this bfore i got tested ..but totally my thinking towards anything has been changed ..n i don't knw wht to do ...i tried to think positively ..but i don't knw ..why it's happenimg to me ..i have made my life hell..n the fear is killing me ..

[stupidcow]

I know what you are going through baby, i tested negative for many test including 8 months but stupid as i am i went to get a 1 year post exposure test and after i had the test i realised that i didnt see the nurse taking out a syringe then my panics started that oh lord i dont want to go down this route of waiting for tests etc.....what you are experiencing like myself is hiv ocd ....we are exaggerating the power of this disease if everyone got it so easily everyone would have it me and you we have to remember that its not the case and as i live in england i have to tell myself that no syringe was reused its just me mind

[MrGreen]

You have been down the road of the tests and obviously don't want to have to go back down the same road again. You have to try and change your thinking. That everything or everybody won't lead to any HIV things at all. That's seems to have become your biggest fear of all. It will continue to do so as long as you let it. Only you can change the way you think. Get over your fear as best you can. Try stop the thoughts before they dictate life to you. Wish you the best of luck.