Aa
Please help HIV fear
I went to a party the day my grandmother died. Have way to much drugs and buzz. Past out only to wake up with my husbands and my old friend from high school on top of me. I ran out and never looked back. I can't remember that night. My husband came home from the army and him an I had sex. I told him what happened and he thinks I just cheated on him. When I am already depressed about what happened. So I got tested and tested positive for chlamydia and negitive Afro HIV. That was about a month after it happened. Then I got tested three months after it happened. But I'm sooo scared I have it. My husband was going to leave me today. But I convinced him to stay and try to work past that terrible day. But if I have HIV I know he will leave me. We have two kids. And My kids and my marriage is all I live for. I'm so scared I will lose everything I love over a night I can't even remember. I love my husband. I love him so much and I'm dieing inside.
Why do you blame yourself? Did you know this party was somehow going to be "unsafe?" And what do you mean by "unsafe?" Didn't you trust the people? Did you know there would be drugs there? Did you not trust YOURSELF to say "NO" to certain things?
For all you know, someone could have spiked your drink with the "date rape" drug.
Since you do not remember anything of that night, you don't KNOW if you WILLINGLY had sex with this person or not. If you hadn't been so drunk, (or drugged!) do you think you would have gone ahead and had sex with this "friend?" If the answer to that is an honest "no." then I really think you need to consider the alternative.
You and your husband need to keep talking about this until the truth comes out. Is there anyone from the party who can vouch for just how drunk you were? Is there anyone who saw this friend coming on to you while you were nearly passing out? Do you know of any other woman from the party who may have had the same experience as you? If there are rufies being handed around, it's usually not just one drink that gets spiked.
Marriage counseling is something to consider. But if you are telling the absolute truth about not willingly having sex with his friend, perhaps the two of you should confront this friend? He will, of course, say that it was probably your idea in the first place, but the fact that you confessed this to your husband has to carry some weight for the truth of what did happen.
You have a very large problem with your husband and your marriage and trust issues and his friend..........what you DO NOT HAVE IS HIV.
You tested negative at 3 months and that is absolutely conclusive. Please stop thinking about HIV and concentrate on saving your marriage.
If your panic attacks are so severe you end up in the hospital, I would strongly urge you to see your doctor for a check up and get something to help with the anxiety. Get a referral to a good therapist and begin dealing with the anxiety before you really make yourself sick.
Do what you can to make this right, accept what small portion of guilt really belongs to you and let the rest go. If you made a mistake, own it for what it was, a mistake. You're human. We ALL make mistakes. If you can't fix it, then you have to move on, but only after you've done everything in your power to put this right. Then you can say in all truthfullness that at least you tried.
I wish you the very best
Peace
Greenlydia
For all you know, someone could have spiked your drink with the "date rape" drug.
Since you do not remember anything of that night, you don't KNOW if you WILLINGLY had sex with this person or not. If you hadn't been so drunk, (or drugged!) do you think you would have gone ahead and had sex with this "friend?" If the answer to that is an honest "no." then I really think you need to consider the alternative.
You and your husband need to keep talking about this until the truth comes out. Is there anyone from the party who can vouch for just how drunk you were? Is there anyone who saw this friend coming on to you while you were nearly passing out? Do you know of any other woman from the party who may have had the same experience as you? If there are rufies being handed around, it's usually not just one drink that gets spiked.
Marriage counseling is something to consider. But if you are telling the absolute truth about not willingly having sex with his friend, perhaps the two of you should confront this friend? He will, of course, say that it was probably your idea in the first place, but the fact that you confessed this to your husband has to carry some weight for the truth of what did happen.
You have a very large problem with your husband and your marriage and trust issues and his friend..........what you DO NOT HAVE IS HIV.
You tested negative at 3 months and that is absolutely conclusive. Please stop thinking about HIV and concentrate on saving your marriage.
If your panic attacks are so severe you end up in the hospital, I would strongly urge you to see your doctor for a check up and get something to help with the anxiety. Get a referral to a good therapist and begin dealing with the anxiety before you really make yourself sick.
Do what you can to make this right, accept what small portion of guilt really belongs to you and let the rest go. If you made a mistake, own it for what it was, a mistake. You're human. We ALL make mistakes. If you can't fix it, then you have to move on, but only after you've done everything in your power to put this right. Then you can say in all truthfullness that at least you tried.
I wish you the very best
Peace
Greenlydia
Thank you so much. I blame myself so much for the night:( I put myself in a unsafe environment and I will forever live in shame.my husband is having a very hard time with what happened even though I know I didn't have sex with him willingly. I keep hearing that I should go test again but every time I do I have so many panic attracts and end up in the hospital for days. I can't handle this much longer. It's driving me crazy.
I'm glad your test was negative, I know how relieved you are!
I would suggest you and your husband get into some marriage counseling and work on saving your marriage.
I think you should also consider the POSSIBILITY that because you had had too much to drink, to the point of blacking out, that this "friend" may NOT have had your consent for sexual contact. Taking (sexual) advantage of anyone who is mentally incapacitated is rape no matter which way you look at it.
I hope you and your husband will seek help.
Peace
Greenlydia
I would suggest you and your husband get into some marriage counseling and work on saving your marriage.
I think you should also consider the POSSIBILITY that because you had had too much to drink, to the point of blacking out, that this "friend" may NOT have had your consent for sexual contact. Taking (sexual) advantage of anyone who is mentally incapacitated is rape no matter which way you look at it.
I hope you and your husband will seek help.
Peace
Greenlydia
You hope WHAT helped?
Telling her that in VERY rare cases, it can take up to 6 months to develop antibodies to HIV? Do you know what that information is going to do to someone with anxiety?
She tested negative at three months and that test is 100% CONCLUSIVE.
If you have any more information regarding HIV to share, please go to our HIV Prevention Forum.
Telling her that in VERY rare cases, it can take up to 6 months to develop antibodies to HIV? Do you know what that information is going to do to someone with anxiety?
She tested negative at three months and that test is 100% CONCLUSIVE.
If you have any more information regarding HIV to share, please go to our HIV Prevention Forum.
The center for Disease Control and Prevention says: " Most people will develop detectable antibodies within 2 to 8 weeks (the average is 25 days). Even so, there is a chance that some individuals will take longer to develop detectable antibodies. Therefore, if the initial negative HIV test was conducted within the first 3 months after possible exposure, repeat testing should be considered >3 months after the exposure occurred to account for the possibility of a false-negative result. Ninety-seven percent of persons will develop antibodies in the first 3 months following the time of their infection. In very rare cases, it can take up to 6 months to develop antibodies to HIV."
Hope this helps you interpret your results! Getting tested again after 3 months, I would trust your results.
Hope this helps you interpret your results! Getting tested again after 3 months, I would trust your results.
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