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Scared about 1st counseling session
So many of you and my freinds have told me to get some counseling, and I have finally taken that advice to heart... my Pastors' wife (who is also a pastor) has agreed to do this for me for nothing other than an affordable donation to our church. I am terrified. And I don't know what else to say other than how can I keep this appointment without chickening out? Marge is the type of woman (bless her heart) who will come and find me if I don't show up, and I don't hide very well (lol). I guess I most afraid of disappointing this woman, whom I respect greatly, and telling her things that are wrong with me is embarrassing in the extreme.... any help would be apprciated. - Blu
Best Answer
The way you wrote already FAILING makes me think you never intended to succeed. You have to believe in yourself and take it one day at a time. Try some AA meetings along with the counseling. Just trying is better than nothing. Sometimes it takes a few tries to get it right. Don't beat yourself up!
That sounds like a great start! I'm glad you feel comfortable with her and that she also has some professional experience. That's great.
Do your homework and dive into this! One day at a time, but I think this will help you a lot!
XOXO
Do your homework and dive into this! One day at a time, but I think this will help you a lot!
XOXO
Omg, I LOVE you people, all so smart and supportive! THANK YOU ALL! I did keep my appointment with marge, and found out that not only is she our pastor, but she has backgound in psychology. You are all right, it was heart-wrenching to do. She was very professional with me, and had me sign a contract of commitment to do the work, no lying, keeping my appointments unless I am physically unable to go.... etc. She was an excellent mix of pastor and psychologist, filling both my needs at once. I actually trust her completely. But I must say that it was NOT easy, and I spent most of the session in tears, and the rest of the day feeling nauseus. I have 'homework' now: daily meditation, journaling, using positive feedback, caring for my body as well as my soul, and looking to God when I feel confused or scared. I'm doing okay so far today... did my meditation and journal, and have not had any alcohol for 48 hours (no promises there, YET). Will update you all in a few days... love and hugs - Blu
Hi Blu! I also have to echo the sentiments of everyone above. It really IS important to be able to feel comfortable opening up, and a perfect stranger (and a professional therapist) is the way to go.
HOWEVER, you still may be able to utilize your friend, do you think perhaps some spiritual counsel would help you? It sounds like your friend would be perfect for that, and BTW, how lovely of her to extend a helping hand to you! My advice to you would be to try to seek out more of a professional "official" type therapy setting, and most definitely seek out a shoulder from your friend in addition. Support is support, but I think the REAL work would be best accomplished with a professional therapist whom you don't know. Like everyone said (even yourself)...it will probably be hard to fully open up just because you know her.
You mentioned financial issues. Therapy sure isn't cheap! That's unfortunately why a lot of people who need it never really seek it out. Have you tried looking in your area for resources available to you? There should be programs that could help you. Start calling around to your local psychiatry offices and ask around. You could also look at your yellow pages.
If you want, I can try to find some info for you. If you're comfy sharing, shoot me a PM with your location and I'll see what I can muster up.
Keep your appointment and just perhaps explain to this woman that you still would like to seek out official therapy, but that you would love to take her up on her kind offer of support and spiritual guidance also.
Best of luck honey...you're making great efforts here, and that's wonderful! We're all here cheering you on!
HOWEVER, you still may be able to utilize your friend, do you think perhaps some spiritual counsel would help you? It sounds like your friend would be perfect for that, and BTW, how lovely of her to extend a helping hand to you! My advice to you would be to try to seek out more of a professional "official" type therapy setting, and most definitely seek out a shoulder from your friend in addition. Support is support, but I think the REAL work would be best accomplished with a professional therapist whom you don't know. Like everyone said (even yourself)...it will probably be hard to fully open up just because you know her.
You mentioned financial issues. Therapy sure isn't cheap! That's unfortunately why a lot of people who need it never really seek it out. Have you tried looking in your area for resources available to you? There should be programs that could help you. Start calling around to your local psychiatry offices and ask around. You could also look at your yellow pages.
If you want, I can try to find some info for you. If you're comfy sharing, shoot me a PM with your location and I'll see what I can muster up.
Keep your appointment and just perhaps explain to this woman that you still would like to seek out official therapy, but that you would love to take her up on her kind offer of support and spiritual guidance also.
Best of luck honey...you're making great efforts here, and that's wonderful! We're all here cheering you on!
Hi Blu. I totally agree with the above posts, you need to feel comfortable enough to pour out your heart to your therapist. Best wishes to you and all the best.
Absolutely agree with the comments here..... a therapist has to be someone you can trust with anything because as you search for the roots of your anxiety you may have to go through some pretty unpleasant memories or situations (depending on an individual's situation) there is no room for embarassment in a therapy session otherwise you are wasting your money in my opinion.... I have a great psychologist who i trust and feel 100% comfortable with and we have started CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) which I think will be good for me in helping me retrain my thought processes that guided me to this anxiety to begin with...... good luck and you may have to try a few therapists before you find the one you click with.... its like dating... but for your mind.... :-)
i just had my first session a few weeks ago. i started with this guy that i randomly found on google in my area. he was ok (i guess i dunno how a therapist was supposed to be i never been to one) i saw him a few more times, but he got to expensive (he wasnt on my insurance) so i found a new one 2 weeks ago. she is on my insurance and i went to see her and was very suprised how much i liked her. i wasnt worried at all about the things i was saying cause its much easier talking to someone who knows NOTHING about you, so they dont pass judgement on you like you friends, sister/brother, or neighbor would do. ya know? i agree with wendy it might be a little harder to talk to someone you already know and will have to see them again in social settings (church).
at first i was so embarrassed that i had made an appointment to see a therapist i didnt tell anyone, not my hubby, not my mom, nobody!!!......then the night before my appointment i was sitting with my mom watching tv and i just yelled out :im going to therapy tomorrow!" and my mom was like " i been wanting to tell you that for weeks but i thought you would freak out".....all in all i love going, when i saw my therapist on tuesday i told her it felt like it had been forever since i seen her last time (which was 8 days prior to tuesday) so now i will be seeing her every 5 days.
do you have health insurance? sometimes its covered, like mine is covered just 20 co pay. if not is there could be some places in your area that will work with you and your budget.
dont worry i was just like you WORRIED about my first therapy session, actually i wrote a post about it just like you
at first i was so embarrassed that i had made an appointment to see a therapist i didnt tell anyone, not my hubby, not my mom, nobody!!!......then the night before my appointment i was sitting with my mom watching tv and i just yelled out :im going to therapy tomorrow!" and my mom was like " i been wanting to tell you that for weeks but i thought you would freak out".....all in all i love going, when i saw my therapist on tuesday i told her it felt like it had been forever since i seen her last time (which was 8 days prior to tuesday) so now i will be seeing her every 5 days.
do you have health insurance? sometimes its covered, like mine is covered just 20 co pay. if not is there could be some places in your area that will work with you and your budget.
dont worry i was just like you WORRIED about my first therapy session, actually i wrote a post about it just like you
I agree with Wendy... My newest counselor is a psychologist who was recommended by the receptionist at the group that I just randomly googled. They're one of the biggest groups in our area. So total stranger, didnt know her from adam. I was concerned I would get a dud but omg I absolutely adore her. Complete stranger and she is so easy to talk to.
Just like Wendy said, the fact that she is someone you know just would not sit well if it was me talking to her. I have grown up in church all my life and people can be very sweet to your face and tell you that everything stays with them but in reality it might not.
Just in my personal opinion, being able to talk to someone who is not going to judge you in any way but rather try to help you as much as they can is very comforting. But like Wendy said, you could always go in just giving her small bits and pieces of info, nothing too deep, and see how you like it. And if you don't then just find a psychologist! :)
Just like Wendy said, the fact that she is someone you know just would not sit well if it was me talking to her. I have grown up in church all my life and people can be very sweet to your face and tell you that everything stays with them but in reality it might not.
Just in my personal opinion, being able to talk to someone who is not going to judge you in any way but rather try to help you as much as they can is very comforting. But like Wendy said, you could always go in just giving her small bits and pieces of info, nothing too deep, and see how you like it. And if you don't then just find a psychologist! :)
I've found counseling to be extremely helpful, but my counselor is basically a complete stranger to me. I've only ever seen her in her office, and the fact that I didn't know her made it so much easier to tell her everything. I wasn't worried about her judging me, or what she would think of me when I saw her outside her office. Obviously I know her now, but she's my doctor and that's it. I'm honestly not sure how easy it will be to speak with someone you already know, though counseling in any form is probably better then no counseling at all.
Just give it a shot, and if you don't feel comfortable then you don't have to go again. I think counseling is wonderful, so if it's too hard to speak with someone you know already I would highly suggest you look into finding another counselor. Don't be scared though, I think you'll find it releases a ton of stress just to know you have someone that you can tell everything to.
Just give it a shot, and if you don't feel comfortable then you don't have to go again. I think counseling is wonderful, so if it's too hard to speak with someone you know already I would highly suggest you look into finding another counselor. Don't be scared though, I think you'll find it releases a ton of stress just to know you have someone that you can tell everything to.
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