Sick of the worry.

[cwtn91]

I've been dealing with Anxiety and Depression for several months now, it was kinda sudden when it started.  I'm just completely sick of it.  Once I get over one worry, something else comes up to worry me.  It's driving me nuts.

It like if I am not worrying about something, then my mind has to find something to worry about.  Like it's not normal for me to feel relaxed or happy.  One of the big concerns was heart health.  So I have changed my diet and whatnot recently, and I've been doing better about that, but now I just think I'm going crazy.  And mental health isn't something that I can go to the hospital and get checked out in a few minutes.

My grandma has Schizophrenia, and now I'm worried that I have it.  I woke up today and went into a full blown panic attack because that thought came to mind, and now I can't shake it.  I spent a few hours browsing the internet and matching up my symptoms, and found out that I am more likely than ever to get it.

I just turned 20.
I have Depression/GAD
It is in my family
I have been withdrawn from society a bit

I don't have the trademark symptoms YET, but I have a massive fear that I will soon develop them.  And now my mind is seriously looking for stuff to send me into a panic attack, everytime I hear a random noise... anything.

What should I do?  

[mandapanda928]

And also my diagnosis is borderline personality disorder which is scary as **** , and the first few days after i found out i cried and was confused. But now i just say ok I have this. But this is not who i am. This is just an illness i have and i fight everyday. And i'm ok. YOU WILL BE TOO.

[mandapanda928]

I think whats happening is you are so scared it's going to happen your already setting yourself up for if it does. The same thing happened to me when i was having anxiety , i thought about my mom going into and mental hospital and i was scared to death of it i would think about it morning afternoon and night. Then after a while you get to a point where it's like you know what screw it if it's going to happen it's going to happen. But guess what it's been over a year now , and i haven't gone and sometimes i still have weird thoughts and think i might go, but i know i wont. I don't think you will develop that I think you are just scared of it so right now it's taking over your daily life. The more you try to calm your mind the more it's not going to be calm. What you need to do is put a word in place of the word schizophrenia after all it is just a word so instead of calling it schizophrenia call it something like "stupid" so when you wake up think omg what if i get diagnosed with stupid. And also don't go browsing the internet i used to do it for days and it doesn't help what so ever unless you look up other people who suffer through it or something positive that comes out of it or just something good, or try not to focus on that focus on the here and now even when you feel like you can't think for 5 seconds "i'm going to be ok " and repeat it 10 or 12 times even if you don't believe it because even if you think it's not working it is. And there are other ways. If you need help message me back I went through a lot of the same things as you.

[cwtn91]

Thanks for the response nursegirl6572;

No, I haven't seen a doctor about it yet.  My regular doctor has to refer me first, and I'll be seeing him soon.  I sure hope I can stop this worrying.  It has made me feel terrible just about every day for the last several months, and it just ***** the enjoyment out of everything.

And it seems no matter how many times I try to calm my mind, nothing works.  I'm still feeling bad after this last panic attack, and that was hours ago.  Completely unprovoked, just woke up and the first word that popped into my head was Schizophrenia.  And boom, my mind won't quit.

[nursegirl6572]

Hello, welcome to MedHelp and the Anxiety Community!

You've described textbook symptoms of panic disorder.  The constant worrying, fears, panic...it's all a wicked cycle.  The more you worry, the worse you feel, which leads to new "fears" popping up in your mind...even if you KNOW they are irrational ones.

Have you sought any help for your anxiety yet?  If not...the best place to start is a thorough assessment from your doc, preferrably a psychiatrist, if that option is feasible for you.  They will be able to rule out any medical causes for your symptoms (ie, thyroid disorder, etc) and then give you a proper diagnosis.  There are MANY different approaches to treating anxiety and panic...medications, therapy, both.  A lot of people have great success with a combo of meds and therapy.  The medications help by reducing your symptoms, allowing you to start learning and employing coping techniques you will learn in therapy.

Get the ball rolling now with a call to your doctor.  You can overcome this, as helpless as you may feel sometimes.  You are among people who have lived it, and understand what you're going through.  

Please keep us updated!  Best of luck!