I'm freaking out!

[shellbells]

I have had panic attacks for years now. This week I did not have a refill left on my zoloft and could not get in touch with my doctor. So I took some lexapro as a substitute. But I still have been feeling really bad. SO last night was the worst ever. My mind races so much, that i actually thought what if i choke my son. It was just a split second thought. I would Never do that. But now I am obsessing over that it was even a thought of mine I still can't believe I thought that.I really would NEVER hurt my son. But what is wrong with me.?. I called a crisis hotline. I asked them is it a real threat if I think of hurting someone for a split second.He said no. He said when you actually have many thoughts or visions of hurting yourself or others is when you need help. Which I don't. But now I feel like the worst mother ever. I have made an appointment to go see counselor.

[Platinum1]

The thoughts are called "obsessions" which are instrusive or disturbing thoughts.  The more afraid of them you are, the more power you give them just like anxiety.  Don't feel like you are a bad mother - it's just the anxiety talking!!  ((HUGS))

[shellbells]

thank you suzi-q! And I would never act on it

[suzi-q]

Even people who are not on meds or have anxiety have fleeting thoughts go through their minds.  As long as you don't act on it, it is fine.  Consider yourself human, and let it go!

[shellbells]

I finally did get my zoloft. I am feeling better today. I just feel bad that i even had a two second thought of hurting someone. Now i am obsessing that there is something wrong with me! Just having that thought is a traumatic experince for me. I pray that will never happen again.

[gwolverine]

Hi, i dont think you should substitute one SSRI for another one like that.  It takes 4-6 weeks to get into your system and you can have all kinds of side effects during that time.  I would suggest you call the office and have them refill your original Rx.  They should be able to do it even though the dr is out.  feel better...