Social Anxiety help.

[Snookion]

I have a couple questions to ask but first I will start by explaining my symptoms. I have had social anxiety for many years now, I never had it when I was a child I think it came onto me because I was a late bloomer in school so I always felt like I wasn't part of the crew in school. I always felt like I was behind the times.

I suffer from social anxiety and blushing. Every time I speak to people in public I start to blush. It doesn't matter how many people I talk to, it can be maybe 1 or 2 and it depends on where it is. For example if I am waiting in line at a grocery store and I am buying a drink, I will blush when giving the cashier money because I think she is looking at me weird or is judging me because I look and sound younger than I really am.

I am 21 years old and I look and sound like I am around 15 or younger. I was really hoping that I could get on testosterone to boost some developmental defects I have such as lack of deepening of the voice and lack of body and facial hair. Does anyone know if this is possible for me to do through a doctor? I have had a testosterone level check done and I am at 272 which is pretty low considering my age.

I am afraid I am never going to look or sound my age or any older than I am sounding or looking now. I am afraid I will look and sound like a little kid my whole life. I am afraid I will never cure my social anxiety and grow up in life to do what normal people do. I do not want to live like this for the rest of my life. I don't want to be scared all the time to do normal things, I would love to go to school and walk into a classroom like a normal person and get a degree without having to worry about blushing in public or a classroom.

I don't want to kill myself nore do I think I will. However I don't know how much longer I can live like this without something bad happening to myself. Please can anyone help me?

[Snookion]

I really hope that testosterone can help get my looks and voice up to par with how old I am I know that would help my confidence 10 fold and im not just saying that. The other half would me having to figure out how to stop blushing for no reason which happens all the time.

[mammo]

If your testosterone is low this needs to be treated.  Low testosterone not only delays maturity, but it also causes brittle bones, so I don't understand why they didn't start treatment at the time.  I would have it checked again, and if it is still low then ask what is to be done.  It normally involves injections that needs to be administered in the rump, so you need to have someone do this for you or most docs will have you drop in and see the nurse for the injection.  Normally it's 2 injections per month depending on how low yours is.  Low testosterone affects many things so don't wait to get it checked again.  I suggest you see an Endocrinologist for a total blood work up.  Try not to be so hard on yourself, people aren't paying the attention you think they are.  I think shyness is a good characteristic, much better than the ego maniacs running their mouths and thinking they're funny, when they're not.  Shyness creates some mystery, and this is good. Just put yourself out there and be who and what you are, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.  Take care...

[MrGreen]

So it is fair to say that your whole problem is based around how you talk, or how you see others thinking about how you sound when you do talk? So it is a kind of confidence thing. You ever hear of public speaking groups? These are just normal people who have a hobby of speaking in public. I know it might sound dumb. But such a group would be a great way to see that you can speak with confidence. Such groups are used to shy people. Oddly enough. They know people join them who are afraid to speak in public as a rule. So they are not there to judge others. They help each other along. Encourage you to get up and talk. Maybe read a poem out or a passage from a book. Or just say what is on your mind. You sound like an intelligent person. It would be a shame to let how you speak get in the way of your education. I will leave the treatment talk to others. Not an area I know much about. I just think if you look you will find a group and can gain your confidence back from joining such a group. Just my two cents worth.

[Snookion]

What you said helps and I appreciate it, but I don't think that the way I am is going to change my voice and looks make me sound and look 14 or so. I don't think that is going to change with growing older because a voice is something you develop as you get older which I am now 21. I think testosterone would help change my voice as it does for females who change to males.

I think I have developed a phobia for blushing because I think about it worry about it and do it. Is there a way to cure this? Please read my first post if you haven't it explains things in more detail.

[Julie359]

Hi, when you had your testosterone level checked the first time and you were told it was on the low side who did the test and why didn't they recommend you having treatment then?  Could it be that the person who did the test thought that you would naturally catch up and felt no action was needed? Did they do an overal physical check?

Often the person who is most hardest on yourself is actually you, we tend to think that there is something seriously wrong when in fact other people don't think that way about us, or one or two people may comment on a personal feature which leaves us feeling so self consious about it that we think everyone feels and see's it too, when in fact it's the other person who is just being a complete and utter jerk.

Blushing is all about confidence, you feel insecure and embarrassed and so blush, please realise you are not the only person who blushes, it is a very common reaction.  Plus a vicious circle may of developed like being afraid that you will blush = anxiety = bodily reaction = blushing = anxiety and so on.  

To be very honest with you i think that quiet, shy guys are much more appealing than brash, full of confident one's.  Plus in a few years the young look you have will become a real compliment, trust me.   I'm now 36 and am always being told i look in my early 20's,  only a few months ago i was actually asked to show ID to buy a bottle of wine.... I laughed so hard i thought i was gona wet my knickers, i thought it was the biggest compliment ever.  I do understand how looking young while young can feel like a big disadvantage as all you want to do is be treated like an adult but try to view it with positivity..... just think about in the future when your in your 30's or 40's and your getting all the action while ur mates are sitting at home cause they look like their sell by date has expired....

To boost ur confidence it wouldnt hurt to go visit another doc to ask if there is anything that can be done, although it may be that all you need is a dose of counseling or something to help you overcome your confidence issues.  

Do hope i have said something that has made u feel a little better or is useful.  Good luck!