Help? Please

[Tmac123]

I tested negative for std's four weeks after exposure with vaginal sex with a stripper. We used a condom. I know stupid and this is all my fault. My doctor called with results of tests but never told me I would have to continue testing to at least three months for herpes and hiv. Two weeks later my wife and I had sex. A week later I started to get hiv symptoms. On top of it all, my wife will be taking a pregnancy test soon after our encounter. We also have a two year old. I can barely make it through the day. I took another test last week. Waiting for results. I feel that I can't tell my wife yet about any of this because there is nothing we can do. So I avoid her and my daughter all day. I will have to wait at least another 5 weeks to figure out whether or not I am in the clear. If I am positive, I think my only out is ending it all. I love my wife and daughter and know that killing myself may not help anything but I could never look anyone in the face ever again. Please help with any thoughts. The sorts part is that I can't talk to anyone about it and am all alone. I know I am completely at fault but will hurting myself benefit my child when she gets older? Thoughts? I cry all day. Can't sleep or eat.

[JamieEileen]

Please rest assured HIV doesn't show up that fast. You are experiencing anxiety. Quit feeling bad and go one with life. Of course get tested as it will help you feel better. Put your energy into your family life. Everything will be fine. I am happy you did think to wear a condom. Everything will be fine.

[Tmac123]

Thank you so much for the reassurance. I am going to seek help this week. I am still worried because I have had swollen lymph nodes, stomach cramps groin pain, back pain and other symptoms. I know I have to stop reading the Internet. I guess it could also be from not eating or sleeping.

[nursegirl6572]

As for HIV, you had NO risk.  When condoms remain intact, they are fully protective against HIV.  Herpes may be transmitted despite condom use, but it would be highly unlikely.

You need to get this anxiety under control, you are literally making yourself sick over nothing...totally guilt and regret related.  For your wife's sake, try to pull it together.  You don't need anymore testing for HIV at all, and like I said, Herpes would also be unlikely.

If you cannot get a grip on this anxiety, then it's time to see a professional.  Best of luck!