Aa
Why am I so out of sorts with this
A little background here. Spent 15 mins. just french kissing a woman other than my wife and here I sit thinking that I am going to get some type of STD. I see all the post that is not a risk but my mind won't let it go? Ugh I hate this.
Today is not so good. Racked with fear. I can not get into the doctor till next week. The pounding in my chest makes me feel like I am going to past out at times. I just want to make through Christmas.
I wanted to add that my anxiety is driven by thinking that I have HIV, Hep B or Syphilis (sp) even though the tests show non reactive. Ugh I do not hink I am going to make it.
Sorry I forgot to add this part in the last posting.
Sorry I forgot to add this part in the last posting.
I wanted to follow up with my posting. Yes I understand that I am a bad husband after what I did. It pains my heart greatly. Yes I deserve all the anxiety and guilt over this. I did ask my doctor for some test. HIV, Hep B and Syphilis (sp) all came back neg at 9 weeks. It eats at me everyday, every moment of my past action.
I am trying to move forward here but it is very hard to do these days. I never came here to look for approval just insight into anxiety and depression. Hard to look at my family and know that I have disappointed them.
Thank you for reading my post.
I am trying to move forward here but it is very hard to do these days. I never came here to look for approval just insight into anxiety and depression. Hard to look at my family and know that I have disappointed them.
Thank you for reading my post.
Ladies I understand what you are saying. Thank you for your input. Yes I have appointment to see someone about my issues. Yes I realize that I could get a HSV-1 from kissing.
I have to agree with Tink.
From what you said, this isn't the first time. If that's the case, I would recommend some therapy or something...to figure out why you can't seem to make the RIGHT choices. OR, just give your wife the opportunity of moving on to find someone who won't betray her...and someone who will find her to be "enough". There are plenty of men who would probably appreciate your wife and NEVER want to kiss another woman.
To hang on to her because YOU don't want to lose her is very selfish. Like tink said, turn the tables around, and picture if your wife was the one out there cheating (more than once). It would be awful.
There is no excuse, like tink said, we all have choices to make in life....and you have to learn how to make the right ones. NOT just consider instant gratification, consider that your actions actually have consequences. You have an obligation to your wife to honor your vows, or let her go.
As for the STD risk, you COULD get Herpes from kissing, which would terribly unfortunate if you passed that on to your wife.
From what you said, this isn't the first time. If that's the case, I would recommend some therapy or something...to figure out why you can't seem to make the RIGHT choices. OR, just give your wife the opportunity of moving on to find someone who won't betray her...and someone who will find her to be "enough". There are plenty of men who would probably appreciate your wife and NEVER want to kiss another woman.
To hang on to her because YOU don't want to lose her is very selfish. Like tink said, turn the tables around, and picture if your wife was the one out there cheating (more than once). It would be awful.
There is no excuse, like tink said, we all have choices to make in life....and you have to learn how to make the right ones. NOT just consider instant gratification, consider that your actions actually have consequences. You have an obligation to your wife to honor your vows, or let her go.
As for the STD risk, you COULD get Herpes from kissing, which would terribly unfortunate if you passed that on to your wife.
French Kissing with another Woman??!! May I ask - what did You get from this?? what did this get You?? If this is "totally harmless", how would You feel to know Your Wife is out there French Kissing SomeOne!!?? If it's harmless for You to do this, and if it made You feel somewhat better, well then..... I hope SHE finds this to be true also.
NOTHING "gets into" You. You ALWAYS have a choice!! If I believe this, how in H@ll are You going to explain to Your Wife that "something" got into You??!! UNEXCEPTABLE to me......what do You think She might feel??!! It's NOT okay what You did - no matter what "excuse" You offer up. We ALL have it tough, We ALL have tough times, THAT DOES NOT, NEVER EVER!! DOES NOT GIVE US EXCUSE, REASON TO BETRAY OUR MARRIAGE!! ......just saying BUT, bet Your Wife would NOT disagree with me!! You are supposed to be there for You Wife!! It is NOT about YOU!! CERTAINLY not about only You....... and FrenchKissing with someone else, is NOT going to solve or fixc ANYTHING - You have ONLY participated to ADD to problems that are ALREADY in existance!!
I truely hope You didn't come here looking for understanding - You won't find that with me. You've ALREADY put Her "through the wringer" by Your Own admission. Give this Lady a break!! if You do indeed Love Her.
NOTHING "gets into" You. You ALWAYS have a choice!! If I believe this, how in H@ll are You going to explain to Your Wife that "something" got into You??!! UNEXCEPTABLE to me......what do You think She might feel??!! It's NOT okay what You did - no matter what "excuse" You offer up. We ALL have it tough, We ALL have tough times, THAT DOES NOT, NEVER EVER!! DOES NOT GIVE US EXCUSE, REASON TO BETRAY OUR MARRIAGE!! ......just saying BUT, bet Your Wife would NOT disagree with me!! You are supposed to be there for You Wife!! It is NOT about YOU!! CERTAINLY not about only You....... and FrenchKissing with someone else, is NOT going to solve or fixc ANYTHING - You have ONLY participated to ADD to problems that are ALREADY in existance!!
I truely hope You didn't come here looking for understanding - You won't find that with me. You've ALREADY put Her "through the wringer" by Your Own admission. Give this Lady a break!! if You do indeed Love Her.
Very true. The guilt of kissing another woman really was a very bad mistake. I need to focus on other things like you said. Yes I have some knowledge to share. Thanks for talking it does help.
I believe IT gets into many of us. Try to be creative with other things. Your of the age where you have much experience in life. Maybe try writing song lyrics and get an agent in Nashville or poetry and entering some contests, or inventing a very simple product which you put a Patent on. Society offers much to those that offer their talents. Put simply, there a lot of easy money to be made and increasing your financial wealth makes life very exciting, even more than french kissing.
Yes that is true. Me and my wife have been through a lot together. We have a disabled son. I put her through the ringer over the years and she stays with me. I just don't know what gets into me?
I would not look at it they way or it will have been done for nothing. You enjoyed it at the time and just remember the enjoyment and the nice time you had. Your sorry now but whats done is done.
It hurts and I hate it.I feel so down about it. Everything I read about french kissing is no risk. Thanks for replying.
Youll be ok. Guilt can be a toubling thing as is the minds way of preventing you from doing it again.
Guilt can be a real mind game. i dont think you can get STD from kissing. Your not happy with you wife or just had a moment of weakness?
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Anxiety Community
Find out what can trigger a panic attack – and what to do if you have one.
A guide to 10 common phobias.
Take control of tension today.
These simple pick-me-ups squash stress.
Don’t let the winter chill send your smile into deep hibernation. Try these 10 mood-boosting tips to get your happy back
Want to wake up rested and refreshed?
