Unsure of what to do.

[himynameissean]

I have an original post explaining some of my symptoms, but I didn't go into enough detail to truly explain what I am feeling. About a year and a half ago, my uncle passed away. I have never been to a funeral prior to this, and it was also open casket. Around this time, I began to experience a symptom in my arms of lightness, as if they were feather light or floating. It hasn't gotten worse, but at the same time not better. This feeling just lingers. I have complete control, feeling, and energy. I drum in a band, and I have no problem playing or even doing daily activities. There's no pain at all. Along with this, I have constant fear I am dying, constant worry that something is always wrong with me. I have become depressed, and I have almost no self confidence. My mother and sister both suffer from severe anxiety and stress, and they have been on medication for quite sometime.

Along with the death of my uncle, my grandmother just passed away in May of 2007. I was extremely close to her, and her death hit me with a blow.

I am feeling desperate, and I have extreme worry of visiting a doctor to get checked out.
What should I do?

[cj29]

I just wantedt to let you know I experienced my first panic attack about a month after my grandfather passed away in 2005.  I was extremely close to him and I saw him in an open casket as well (first time for me).   After that I thought I had a problem with my heart and had more tests (including a heart cath) than you can imagine saying my heart was fine.  I went from being extremely active and loving life to being afraid to even walk up a flight of stairs.

I worked through this with the help of a great psychologist, meds, and the most amazing wife and was panic free for years.  My panic and anxiety have returned this year, and I am convinced that there is something medically wrong with me once again.  The way I deal with this, as Jerz said, is to confront it head on.  I am still alive and kicking, I run 6x a week, travel with my wife; this all terrifies me right now, but life must be lived. I have also found a great therapist again to talk through this.  The first thing for me is acceptence of how I think (which I have done), and the second thing is acceptence of the fact that there is nothing catastrophically wrong with me (which I am having trouble doing).  Once this is done, then the path to recovery is much easier.  Remember too, that anxiety does take a toll on the body.  My back hurts, I have pains all over my body, but gutting through it is very hard to do.  I know how it feels, trust me, because this is one of the toughest challanges anybody has to face in life.  The real nice thing is though, you WILL get through it and life WILL be so much more enjoyable and sweeter because of it!

[Jerzeegal]

You need to get help dealing with all those feelings you are experiencing. If you are afraid to go to an MD then try to get yourself to a therapist or a mental health clinic although meds and therapy would probably be the most beneficial.

When we experience the loss of someone so close to us it forces us to face our own mortality, something that most of us don't like to do. Most of us here have dealt and are dealing with the same feelings you are and will help in any way we can, but you have to help yourself.

Jerz