Worried that I will somehow change.

[PreternaturalVistas]

It happened about one and a half to two weeks ago that I started worrying about me changing based on well, seeing other people. It might sound like a lot of dumb nonsense and that's because it might actually be. Also I'm not very decent at putting things into words sometimes so just bare with me here. Anyways  basically what comes to my mind and how it started was that I randomly started realizing something. The something is that I feel like I'm extremely lucky to be who I am, because I like being me a lot, but I just started overthinking a bit as I always do and started having these annoying and very unwanted thoughts which are basically this. "What if I randomly become a bad person?" "What if my personality changes that I love having so much due to worrying so much?" And the reason behind why I got these questions in my head is super complex I think I'm not sure. I think it's from feeling like I got very lucky with having a personality that I actually enjoy having but yet it just bothers me so much that I probably got very lucky for being this way and knowing that if I wasn't like this I would just be another person. Or even worse a bad person as I mentioned earlier ago. Also just knowing how easy it is to do bad things or for bad things to happen, or how easy it is to get into bad habits bothers me a lot aswell as for some reason I feel like I will just go crazy for some reason, and no it has nothing to do with me being bad in the past because I was never a mean person it just kind of went into my head randomly. See, it's a weird and odd worried thought and I'm hoping some people can somehow and someway relate to me here. As of right now though I feel as if I am overcoming it a bit. And I've had numerous worrying thoughts in the past but I've never posted anything about them I just kind of fought my way out of them so it's nothing new to me, this is my first time posting about one so yea.

[Paxiled]

People think.  The question is, why does thinking bug you so much?  This is the anxiety forum -- do you suffer anxiety, because it sounds like you're happy as a clam but haven't accepted yet that you're a thinking human being.  Would you rather be a non-thinking human being?  It's easier, but empty.

[PreternaturalVistas]

It bugs me because of what it is that I'm thinking about. I shouldn't be thinking about this stuff, nobody should because it just causes you to feel down about yourself. I just overthink lots of things but I just can't help it, atleast not for now. Its the worried thought that I think about that causes the anxiety and im sure everybody else that has probably had bad worry some anxiety like me, knows for a fact that it's really not easy to let things like that go away in your mind. Their just stuck there and they come back out of unexpected times or if you see something that relates to it therefore reminding you of it once again every know and then. Worrying is a major part of anxiety and that is why I posted it here cause it's a thought I'm worried about that might happen for some oblivious reason and since I have lots of anxiety by worrying it just creates a chain reaction of more sometimes, it's not easy for me to just drop it and not think about no longer.

[Paxiled]

Read again what I wrote.  It's not the thoughts that are particularly awful, it's you thinking they're awful that's bothering you.  You sound like a very idealistic and moral person who is worried you might turn out to be not such a great person, but that's just a thought.  People think all kinds of unpleasant thoughts but it doesn't blow up their whole lives.  It makes us think, if we're a thinking person.  Some use them to become writers and artists and explore them, some become scientists to discover the truth of them, some just are amused by them, but we all have them from time to time especially when we're in school and learning new things -- it opens up the mind.  So again, why is it thinking is bothering you so much?  It may in fact be a budding anxiety problem, or it may be because something happened recently that upset you to trigger this.  The main thing I see is you describe yourself as a really really happy person and those of us who have chronic anxiety aren't.  When I was young I used to wonder where everything came from and the concept of infinity and it drove me pretty crazy, and then I stopped thinking about it.  The mind is an amazing thing.  It goes where it goes.  So again, the question you need to ask yourself isn't why you're thinking but why the thoughts are bothering you so much.  That will tell you if there's a budding problem or it's just a blip that will quickly pass.  Peace.