HIV anxiety

[adam218]

Dear all

I don't know where I can start , in short statement I am worry been HIV , I did more than 12 test several type , till 188 days which more than 6 month , but I can't move on with my negative , with each test I did I just enjoy the result for one week or ten days then all the bed thinking come back after 10 to start from the zero point of my 1 st day , I can keep my self a way from the Internet reading and searching for any rare case with test

Visiting many doctors and lab. To get them advise

Realy I feed up with my self , a cant enjoy my life , I can't back for the same person I used to before 7 month

Please help me and advise me ..

[youngguy800]

I have been where you have been. Honestly HIV Anxiety was my first big mental meltdown (currently working on getting over my second). I thought since I am gay and have been with a man, I will get HIV and die. FOR MONTHS. and it really affected my dating for years. Just know that it is a very weak virus and requires the right conditions to spread. Infected blood/semen/breast milk must get INTO your blood stream. Enzymes in your mouth break down the virus and oral sex is a very low (even questionable risk). Condoms work pretty well, and mutual masterbation is essentially no risk. Just learn to protect yourself and make smart sexual choices and you will be fine. Always talk to these things with your partners (but you can't always go off their word). It is good to also get tested at intervals. STD testing is something everyone should do if they are sexually active. So just make a note to get tested twice a year or something (like I do) instead of every time you think you may or may not have had a risk. You will get over it. you eventually will exhaust yourself and learn to move on. I sure did :)

[OrionB]

The best way forward as nursegirl said is to get help. Make an appointment to see your doctor. You can then find the best way forward to deal with your anxiety and your obsessive irrational thoughts. You can get a referral to see a specialist in CBT if that is what is advised.

[nursegirl6572]

do u advise me with any thing to come over my worry since i keep watching my body everyday afrid any new change ..

I already advised you to get help.  You don't have HIV.  It would be impossible for all of those tests to have missed it, and you wouldn't have needed to test past 90 days anyway, that would have been conclusive.

This is becoming an obsession for you, and your levels of anxiety are very high, that means you need to seek professional help.  Honestly, not much more I could tell you.

[adam218]

Dear nursegirl ,

Thank you for your reply , i read your profile & ithink u did reviwe my too watching my test schadule till 188 days ,

i just worry to be one of this rare case who not show anti body by 188 days  , i worry i did infiect my wife ,,

do u advise me with any thing to come over my worry since i keep watching my body everyday afrid any new change ..

pleas your reply will help me

[nursegirl6572]

You must be patient. This is a very busy forum, we get to threads as fast as we can.

Look, you do NOT have HIV, your problem is 100% anxiety.  How do I KNOW this?  Because there is no way scientifically that ALL of your tests, up to 188 days would be negative if you were infected.

You have a choice, you can either seek professional help for what is becoming an obsession, or you can continue to stay on the merry go round.  

What's going to eventually happen is, you're going to test so much (you've already tested excessively) where you will tempt fate and end up with a false +, we see it happen quite frequently on the HIV forum.  You want to talk about anxiety?  Imagine that???  Your emotional state is so fragile and your anxiety is so high that a false + would be almost impossible for you to handle.

Get yourself some help, that's the obvious answer here.  Good luck to you.

[adam218]

Why no reply ,,,,,,??

[adam218]

But  my test is neg after 6 month , and now thing to make ane test ,

[commissario1980]

I am in you same situation. miss myself very much !!