Weird thoughts.

[christineyvette]

Okay so I hope nobody thinks im crazy but today when I was watching 20/20 with my dad, it was about a girlfriend who killed her husband. Me and my dad were talking back and forth and I asked "Does everyone have a part in their brain that would make them do things like that? Like murder people?" Then I started to have a panic attack because I started to think OH MY GOD WHAT IF I DO SOMETHING CRAZY LIKE THAT? lose control or do something bad like that. It's been scaring me all night. I KNOW I would never hurt anyone EVER. But I keep thinking, how does someone do it? Do they feel bad ect. It's scaring me. My anxiety is terrible.
Ugh.

[christineyvette]

Thank you all so much. I feel so much better !

[omhome]

my sister had similar problems as did one of my three daughters (went away after first child). Christine if i injected a perfectly normal adult with the "chemicals"--the hormones---coursing thru your body at these times they would very quickly be asking for an antidote. It is due to chemistry and not to your brain-health----personality-health----and it happens to more women than is reported. Guess why?  They think it is them! It is not hon. You are not crazy.
    So see a woman doctor about this right away. You may be happily surprised about what is out there. I hope so---you sound very caring and sensitive---very good qualities!

omhome

[MYoungAtHeart]

They have proven that people who can hurt other people and not feel
any remorse or other feelings are incapable of switching their thoughts
from loving to hateful at will.  They are born with a serious defect that does
not allow compassion or love...

You sound very normal to me, and like Nursegirl6572 suggests, the
forum at OCD is a good place for you to start investigating your thoughts.
Because it only seems to occur Pre Menstrual you might talk to your
gynecologist about why this occurs and what might help you with this at that time.  

I had a total hysterectomy at 35, but before that time, once a month for about a week, I was exactly like you describe yourself.  My gyno had some excellent advice and help for me, and I am sure that now with the strides in womens health, even more has been found to help women pre menstrually.

Good Luck to you....I hope some of this has helped.

M

[nursegirl6572]

That is called an intrusive thought, and it's par for the course with anxiety.  The best thing you could do is don't give it any of your time or attention.  

Go to the OCD forum, and read JGF's post called "the anatomy of a horrific thought".  You will see the cycle of how that kind of what if thinking works, and some tips on how you can help yourself to stop it.

[BluCrystal]

You're not crazy! :-)  Everyone thinks at least sometimes 'I would love to kill that guy.'  That does not in any way mean that they will do it, or even plan to or make an attempt.  Human beings tend to be too empathetic ('feel' the joys and pains of others) to actually be so violent.  True, some are that violent, but most are not.  Doing something so awful would require a brain chemistry that allows for not feeling regret or guilt.  The only other reason would be self-defense (like if someone attacked you and you had to kill them before they killed you).  Please let this worry go.  You will not kill anyone, nor will you hurt anyone without very good reason.  God bless - Blu  

[christineyvette]

Also, my period is due next week and it's like this EVERY MONTH. I get anxious thoughts, obsessive thoughts, thinking too much, get thoughts like this, crying fits, thoughts of what is life? Why are we here? I feel depressed . I do not get it.Is it cause of my hormones? It goes away as soon as my period ends but its hell for a week.