s this obbesion, anxiety or I am just going crazy

[something]

Hi to all,

I am not   sure what is going on with me, but my head never stops thinking and getting paranoid about one thing or another.
I can not live peacefully, and still I have two jobs, I am studying in University, I can not live without thinking and creating a new illness or condition for myself.
It started when I was in my 20ties, now I am 24, and now since then is 4 years I am obsessing. I jumpo from one illness to another, read, read on internet and then I put myself in such pressure, that I start to create a new condition for myself, I develop symptoms etc.
Before 3 years , I got the anxiety that I have got an HIV, that I was almostly 100% sure I have got the last stage of AIDS, before I went testing, all came back negative, and health worker saw my anxiety, she was especially considered with my situation, as I was 100 % sure I have lymphnodes enlarged all over me...etc..
After that I started to think that I have cancer - lymphoma, I was reading about every single day, when I had free time ans was preparing myself for my final days. I was going to all the doctors, saying I have lymphnodes all over, they did not find them ever, and said I am ok, and this was even more driving me mad. I thought like I had cancerr for around 2 years! I also though that I have acute leaukemia for around 1 year. Checking my blood every single month...etc.
After all these things I found a new condition to myself, when I was in Turky on my holiday, travelling, I touched one stray cat, and after that I even called to NHS , health departement in UK, to get anti-rabies shots... And then I got rabies episode not long time ago about 2 month,when I was in E gypt, I though the cat got rabies and bite me, actually she did touch my skin with her mouth , but did not break the skin. I know now for sure that I do not have rabies, as it past 4 month after this even, but I was living all the months with a fear and symptoms of rabies, imagining my death and how I will go crazy. Well, then all these problems when away, I  developed now a new fear again of HIV. Now I am reading and reading about HIv, though I believe I have risk in beeing infected.

I do not know what to do with myself, but I have panic attacks ,and all the conditions I mentioned sometimes have such a strong symptoms that I start to believe it is real. On the other hand I know it is not.
I was on XANAX before...but it was probably 3 years ago...
All my family friends are worried that I am all the time so obbesed about the things.
Is it anxiety, obession? am I going crazy?
Who can help me?
Apart from this I am a normal person I travel, study and party.
Forget to mention, I had eating disorder when I was 16...ages ago.But still I am obbesed about my weight all the time...

[Robyn15]

my mind does the same thing! i create physical symptoms out of nothing, it's so scary...i am a hypochondriac to the extreme and have been for years. i have a tremendous fear of seizures and i have no idea why. i have never had one and have no history of them whatsoever. the doctor i go to has known me for years and says it's just anxiety and i cannot just suffer from a seizure randomly. it creates physical symptoms though such as wishy washy feelings in my head, tense/shaky muscles, nervous all the time, etc. is that anxiety??

[tracie106]

how is it that i have a long lost sister in london i believe all you are experiencing is exaggerated anxiety find a public health organization to have yourself checked periodically for hiv u prob are not infected if u r having sex use protection and STOP WORRYING if u r not religious try and talk to GOD he will help u i will pray for u today

[claudicakes]

HI
GP cannot do any type of help for  you? Perhaps seek a internal medicine doctor, psychotherapist? counsellor? Hospital...Im sure that someone can help you by getting you on medication to help relieve your symptoms until you get an appointment with a Psychiatrist..Im sure that its very difficult and draining, not to mention depressing to live like this..you do need help, but remember that in no ways possible do you have a health illness, just tell yourself that its "simply the anxiety" anxiety will tell you lies, and the symptoms will make it seem real..I KNOW THIS, ITS SO HARD TO BREAK THE CYCLE...but you will be fine..find someone that will get you started on meds while you wait for the doctor..meanwhile...stop reading things that will get you worked up like reading symptoms...u will be ok..anxiety is harmless ..which is all that you have..consider it simply a sensation......
and if you are on the internet read more about anxiety disorder and you will feel comfort that this is all that you have..not those other diseases...
relax...breathe...smile :)

[something]

How You solved out this problem with your anxiety, you wrote you had the same problem before. Do You have the same problem now?
I am not sure about Uk either, as they offer counselling or GP, for me GP do not do much, as they are not proffesional here to deal with psychological disorders... Counselling either, I need psyhiatrist, and to get to the psychiatrist here may take ages, months , or even years... That sound funny but it is the true...

[amish1979]

Yes it's probably time to get some help with your problem.  You've been dealing with it on your own for so long, and look at where you are at: no better off than in the beginning, and maybe worse.  I'm not familiar with healthcare in the UK so I can't offer you any advice on how to find a therapist, other than calling your healthcare issuer (the government?) and asking for referrals to people specializing in heath anxiety.

Yes you might need medication in addition to the therapy but that's a matter between you and your therapist (and probably a psychiatrist or general practitioner).

It's time to stop trying to go it alone.

[something]

Where I can find such therapist?Do I need medication like XANAX on top of this?
I can not stop looking at the internet, and if I see the following day in the newspaper for example the article about HIV- it freaks me out immediatly, as I start believe that this is a sign for me that this time my anxiety is real....I do not go to any  counselling, any therapist. I deal by myself, but it loooks like I can not deal with it by myself. ..

[amish1979]

You should definitely start (or continue) to see a behavioral therapist.  It sounds like you have severe health anxiety or hypochondria.  

Don't look on the internet for symptoms of disease because you are just GIVING yourself that disease by doing that, I've done the same thing.