anxiety rant/questions :/

[drdrp]

hey all,
so i'm writing to you at 1:50 am my time becuase this is generally the time when my mind races the most. Needless to say anxiety i feel is ruining my life.
I just can't get out of my head. I have anxiety about many things but i suppose the two biggest would be, i always think im having a heart attack and i always think im pregnant. I'll start by explaining the latter. I havn't had sex since Christmas, i have never had a really regular period (miss an odd month here or there) and i have gotten my period all but one month since then (i'm assuming the missed was heavily due to school stress BUT i don't know) I have taken two pregnancy tests and they were both negative... I would be over 5 months pregnant and am not visually showing ...the logical side of me knows that there is no possible way i can be pregnant but I am constantly thinking i am.. i sometimes have weird twitches and rumbles in my stomach and im always convinced it's a baby. ACK.
For the heart attack situation... i was having really bad panic attacks where i couldnt sleep at night because i was constantly clutching my heart,checking my pulse and trying to make sure i wasn't going to die. I went to the doctor and was put on cipralex for my anxiety. It seemed to work really well however, i go to school out of province and did not know that my healthcard expired (until i was in the emerg for a concussion) and am waiting for it to be sent to me, therefore have not been able to renew my prescription. I havnt had them since the end of may, but i seemed fine, i went into my exams with so much confidence and little anxiety that i thought i wouldnt need them again. I thought that school was the reason for all my stress, but now that im out and have all this time on my hands throughout the day, its gotten worse  again. I'm constantly waking up shaking and thinking im having a heart attack.. .my chest hurts and my left arm feels sore sometimes and i know it has to be all in my head but i cant seem to talk myself out of it., FURTHERMORE, when i was 17 i was diagnosed with an eating disorder and hospitalized for 7 weeks due to my heart ( my resting heartrate was in the 30's and would go up to in the 100's when i was standing, therefore i was at risk of a heart attack..i was never aware of chest pains then and ever since than i am so aware of my heart all the time, almost too aware. I am dieiting and exercising now and its giving me more anxiety but i don't want to stop..... i'm 20 years old,I don't know how things got this bad and i feel like i am actually crazy.When im in this state of panic all i can do is picture myself falling over and having a heart attack. I dont want to live in this constant state of fear. BASICALLY, i am half writing this to get it off my chest, and half for reassurance that i am a.not pregnant and b. not having a heart attack.
sorry for the novel0.o

[plomeli]

You are not going crazy it is all anxiety, I think that those of us who suffer from this always feel crazy because it dominates your life. I am not a doctor but it sounds to me like you are having some sort of OCD because of your excessive negative thoughts. I have that too and boy is it a struggle. Sometimes I just want to scream and say if I die I die!!!!! Everyone is going to die not just me...... oh but noooooo even the thought is so scary!!! There is absolutely no way you can be pregnant if you havent been sexually active no way. But I can tell you that when you dont eat right and excersice too much or are really stressed out you can skip your period. Good luck, I can relate to how you are feeling.

[lynn57]

If you have had a work-up done on your heart recently( and it checked out OK) then I would say it's time to start treating your anxiety.  There are many treatments you can discuss with your doctor.  You may want to consider meds.  Anxiety is not easy to live with.  Everyone deserves a life without abnormal depression and anxiety.  Let your doctor know how you feel and get the help you need.