anyone feel this sometimes

[magen7984]

Hello all! you know how one of the symptoms for anxity is the fear to hurt your selves and others well anytime i hear the word suicide i tence up and get this overwelming doom through out my body then im scared i am going to loose control and not control my self i know for a fact i would never do that but i want the bad feelings to go away it sucks just wandering if anyone else feels this way sometimes

[CrazyGirl22]

Hey Mark, I have similar thoughts, it really sucks sometimes because I feel like they shouldn't be in my head! But with anxiety these thoughts are considered "normal". Sometimes it makes me feel like a crazy person and I'd be better off without living without people because my anxiety has stemmed so much, that I actually feel uncomfortable around people... like they can read my thoughts at times, or if they could read my thoughts what the heck would they think of me? Because I think I am going insane.. like earlier this week there was a girl in my class who I kept looking at and I asked myself, why the heck do I keep looking at her?? And pretty soon I thought I was a lesbian and I looked ugly to myself for a while after that! It sucks, and it's hard to focus on the positive... :o(

[KevinNewYork]

You're dead right, lets focus on the fact you didn't stab your cat !  =P

[Mark TX]

No problem.  I understood where you were coming from!

And I think I'll let this go for now also... except to leave off with one prior thought... sometimes we are so busy looking for what's wrong with us that we forget about all that's right with us!

cheers!

mark

[Jade59]

Sorry Mark, I did mistype.  No I don't believe off the wall thoughts are the same as psychotic.  I just came up with the wrong word. I think I am going to leave this one alone for now, LOL..  I just meant that you went a little further and posted the thoughts alot of people are hesitant to share.  Your post was a good one because people often think they are alone in their strange thoughts.  Sorry again. Peace.

[Mark TX]

Thanks to all!  

But FMX, you don't really believe odd or off-the-wall thoughts are the same as psychotic thoughts, do you?  Psychotic thoughts involve a loss of touch with reality.   I'm sure that was just a typo.

mark

[Jade59]

Man, you sure upset some people.  I understood what you were saying right away.  A thought is just a thought most times.  It's normal.  Everyone has crazy thoughts, you just went a little further and posted some of your more, hmmmm, lets just say pshycotic ones.  I have enjoyed your posts Mark, ever since your initial "Hello"

[mia193]

I read through your posts, and I am actually comforted to know that other people think of the "what ifs" too.....
I would NEVER hurt anyone, but I occasionally have an off the wall thought pop in my mind, but like you stated, it is just a thought, then you let it go.  I think that EVERYONE, (i don't care who states they don't) have a strange thought or two, but they don't act on them.. That is what differentiates between a sick and healthy person- someone who just acts on their thought is crazy, but everyone has a "what if" thought go off in their heads- it is perfectly NORMAL...
I once talked to a psychologist, who said that "anything is possible", but think about the "probability" of it....
I agree w/Happy2girls  post as well- she is right on target!
take care!

[Happy2girls]

I have to say that when I read Marks posts I was initially very disturbed but then after thinking it through I realized that thoughts are just that, thoughts.  You can't help what pops into your head, you can chose to ignore it or change the thought.  Like when you dream, what you dream about is largely out of your control.  The problem comes when these same thoughts keep occuring, when you actively entertain them, and of course when you act on them.   In my opinion to say you don't ever have disturbing thoughts,even about people you love, is just denying the truth. But that is just my opinion.        

[Mark TX]

Maybe it does run in the family... but that doesn't mean it's a sign of sick or unhealthy thinking.  Not unless one is obsessed with this kind of thinking.  Which I'm not.  Nor is my sister, that I'm aware of.  Though I can understand why it might have seemed that way since I jotted these odd thoughts down all together so quickly like that.  

I found this quote on another anxiety website and thought it was perfect for this topic...

"Many people have occasional, strange thoughts about violent or unhappy things.  They are only odd thoughts that flit through our brains.  People don't usually talk about these thoughts, but they are very common and don't mean much of anything.  They don't hurt anyone – except ourselves when we get worried about them."

I'm not the least bit worried about my sister and her kids.   I think she's a great and caring mother.  If you knew her you'd say the same thing.

mark

[luvmybabes]

Well maybe it runs in the family if your sister had thoughts of Drowning her children. I have never had thought of drowning my darling babies and I never would because that is sick unhealthy thinking. And I am sorry but if you love your kids you DONT EVER think of hurting them let alone killing them.

[Mark TX]

I'm sorry... I won't play the game of 'rush to the doctor' every time I have an off-the-wall thought.  It's getting as bad as the kids in school who get suspended or expelled because they draw a picture of a man with a gun.  Police officers carry guns.  Our soldiers carry guns.  But if a kid fantasizes about a gun in school, we send him to the principal.

I have never hit a pregnant woman in the stomach.  I'm 47 years old and I've never hit a woman, period.  I've never even been in a serious fight.  Though I once got in a good brawl in a bar... sober, if you can believe it, but I managed to restrain myself.  I've never veered off the road and run over a pedestrian.  And I've never stuck my hand down the kitchen disposal.

I remember once my sister called me in a panic because the thought of drowning her children came to her while giving them a bath.  She loves her kids.  She's never hurt a hair on their heads.  Perhaps she'd watched too many TV news reports about Andrea Yates, I don't know.  But after we talked and she calmed down she realized it was just a strange thought, nothing more, and she got over it.

I appreciate your concern for me and those my thoughts put in peril.  I've discussed these type thoughts with my doctors in the past and they put them right where they belong... which is in the circular filing cabinet.  I'm sure some doctors may want to spend hours delving into the reasons for these harmless little fantasies.  Feel free to discuss them with your doc on your dime and let me know what he/she says!

mark

[luvmybabes]

I mean sometimes people do have stupid thought like you said about you dog while you were going to sleep. But what Mark was posting is not healthy. It actually scares me.

[KevinNewYork]

i only read your post about cats but now that i look back at the rest of your posts i think you are having some obsessive compulsives thoughts or something !

[luvmybabes]

I am sorry but I think you need some help. I am seriously worried about you. I have never thought or known anyone who has thought... Gee what would happen if I stabbed my cat!!! That is abnormal thinking and not healthy. And as for the pregnant women things...that's just frikin' sick. If you ever ran up to some pregnant women HIT HER and caused a Misscarage not only would you be on the news as a freak and be put in jail but either her or the father of her child would probably Kill you. I think you should talk to someone about what you are thinking because you seem like you are not only a threat to yourself but oTHERS AS WELL.

[KevinNewYork]

l0l  about the stabbing cat bit. I think its normal though. because when i go to sleep i always think about my dog ( who has passed away) , it helps me calm down for some reason.

anyway i imagined i was driving her to the beach (cause they enjoy cars) and then i worried if the window was too low maybe she would jump out  and then i imagined that i pushed her out !  

i think we explore this type of situation with certain things that we even like cause we just fear the situation and dread the worst. its on our mind for this too not happen and it would be devastating but for some reason our mind latches onto to enacting the scenario.  

sounds very strange but i am quite normal except for my anxiety !  and i LOVE animals  =)

[Mark TX]

As long as I'm sharing (and this is my last post I promise), I realize that I think other 'crazy' things sometimes.  For instance... if I see a pregnant woman I often think what would happen if I ran up and hit her in the stomach causing a mis-carriage... and I imagine I'll be arrested for murder... or other times when driving if I see a pedestrian on the side of the road I'll think what would happen if I suddenly swerved my car and ran over him... again being charged with some horrible crime and ending up on the nightly news!   Of course, these are just stupid thoughts that are a product of an overactive imagination.  I just as often imagine good things, like that I've won the lottery.  But the good thoughts don't cause me to worry.  So I forget about them.  I think we've been so conditioned to look for 'what's wrong with us' that we often overlook the many things that are 'right with us.'

Take a few moments to think about your pets, or your family or friends, and how you've done something nice for them.  And you'll understand that the nice person that other people see is the nice person you really are.   How's that??

mark

[Mark TX]

Btw... every time I turn on the kitchen disposal I have this crazy thought that I might stick my hand down the drain.  Again, I know I'd never do that.  But I'm so used to the thought that I come to expect it before I even turn the switch... stupid... no big deal.  It may be a sign of obsessive thinking... which I know I am very good at... nothing more!

mark

[Mark TX]

I think many who are suffering from anxiety or other problems can become very sensitive to the word 'suicide.'  I've never attempted to harm myself.  I've never seriously thought about it.  But one of the first questions out of the mouth of anyone you talk to is 'are you thinking about....'  Which I think might actually make you doubt yourself.

I think most people, regardless of an anxiety or other issues their dealing with have odd thoughts now and then.  The other day I noticed a knife on the counter in the kitchen... and I imagined what would happen if I picked up that knife and stabbed my cat.  Now, I love my cat, and I'd never stab her.  So I don't know why that thought popped into my head.  And I'm not going to worry about it.  (Though I obviously remember it.)

mark

[tobywankenobi]

Thouhgts of suicide/death are very serious!!!!!!! You need to seek professional help someone who understands and you trust!!!! Some of what you describe could be more serious than anxiety. I have Bi-polar and yyes I know those feelings and have acted on them in the past...........The thoughs finally won..........please find a good doctor!!!! Peace, Love, and true Happiness!!!!!!!!