baby worry

[teacher912]

My daughter-in-law gave birth to our granddaughter a year ago. Within 48 hours the baby was whisked away to a local children's hospital where she was in withdrawal for more than six weeks. We were absolutely stunned, but our love and support are unconditional. Mom's mother has been on xananx for many years and her daughter became addicted with her some 8 - 10 years ago while living with her. DIL  tends to have seizures when xananx not available. She has a perscription which is never quite enough. Is my grandchild safe? We are on excellent terms and keep baby almost every weekend knowing DIL needs the break. Meanwhile, there are, of course, problems wiith law DIL manages to avoid. Suggestions?

[teacher912]

thanks so much for your response. We are working toward a solution, but it is slow-going. Meanwhile, however, my beautiful granddaughter is a true delight!

[teacher912]

thank you so much for validating my feelings. Our son does speak with us about this. We are teachers and have offered to keep the baby while mom goes to rehab. I have even spoken with her about it. I do believe she wants the help, but I realize also that I perhaps do not know the addict as well as I know the person. (trust issues) At any rate, you have given me thoughts to ponder and a little more ammunition regarding ways I might approach her with the issue. Love and Light to you!

[Julie359]

Hi, i was just wondering how does your DIL obtain her prescriptions? are they through her primary doctor/general practioner, a clinic or does she have a psychiatrist?

I ask as i am amazed that the person who is caring for your DIL has allowed her to get to such a postion with these med's.  While in the hospital having your GD was there any discussion about putting your DIL into a rehab programme?  What did the doctors say?  Yes they treated your GD for withdrawal but it seems they didn't treat the primary cause, which is her addiction.  

Do you have any legal free charitable services where you can obtain free advice in your area or numbers to ring?  personally i would start on this path.  In England we have a service called The Citizens Advice Buerau which are maned by voluntary legal aid workers and will give free advice on everything ranging from housing issues to medical issues to immigration..... Please research and see if a similar charity is within your grasp as they will be able to put you in touch with the right people who can act on behalf of your DIL and get her some much needed help.  I'm afraid to say it seems that your DIL's current doctor who is mean't to be looking after her welfare seems to be doing the exact opposite and is putting her health in jepody.

I am so sorry that both you and your family are in this difficult postion and i wish for her to get the treatment she so desprately needs so she can start living a fulfilled life without addiction or dependancy.

Good-luck and all the best.

Julie x

[nursegirl6572]

This is a difficult situation for sure.  There are different kinds of issues with these kinds of meds.  There is "tolerance" which goes along with chronic use of the med...that is when a person requires a higher dose over time to reach the same therapeutic effect.  There is "dependency", which also occurs in anyone on the drug chronically.  This is where if the person does not HAVE the medication, they will experience w/d's, some which can be dangerous (as in seizure activity).  "Addiction" is a more gray area, but it is different than the first two.  It is characterized by maladaptive behavior in order to get the drug (stealing, etc)...doing things out of character for that person, again..usually to obtain the med, and taking the med irresponsibly (more than recommended).

While both w/d situations and addiction could affect your DIL's decision making and possibly create an unsafe situation for your GD, it is hard to say the extent of intervention necessary here.  It definitely sounds as though she is in active addiction, which may complicate matters, as her decision making skills may be subpar to say the least!

First, way to go in remaining supportive and trying to help her with the baby.  That's one of the biggest things you can do to help.  It's obvious your DIL needs some sort of help...have you discussed this frankly with her?  How about your son?  What does he say/think?  Have you had discussions with him as well? Has she TRIED to get help at all?

None of this means your DIL is a bad person or a bad Mom, all it means is she needs help.  You have to decide just how drastic the "action" needs to be.  Understandably, you want things to work out for her, and not cause her more problems (ie legally), but the bottom line should ALWAYS be keeping your GD's safety as #1 priority.  She's already had seizures, which poses a real threat to both her and your GD...if she seizes and becomes unconscious...well, it's a given what a bad situation that would be.

Try to perhaps speak with an addiction specialist, there should be several toll free #'s listed in your phone book to try...those hotlines have excellent resources available.  While letting your DIL and son know how much you will support her and love her, you also must make it VERY clear that you fear for the baby and won't sit by and wait for a tragedy to happen.  

Best of luck...very rough situation.  Let us know how it goes!