Serious Anxiety and Addictions

[thehitmangilbert]

I got divorced two years ago.  Since then I have developed serious addictions.  I am now an alcoholic and drink anywhere from a half a fifth to a whole fifth of 100 Proof whiskey almost on a daily basis.  Another weird addiction is I have become addicted to making myself throw up which I do several times a day.  I get a sensation like I am purging out my anxiety and stress in a way which I don't understand.  I want to stop all these things but I can't.  I have bad panic attacks daily and have developed a phobia of having a heart attack since I have been diagnosed with high blood pressure.  The funny thing is the biggest trigger for my panic attacks is having my blood pressure taken which causes it to be sky high.  A few weeks ago I was so nervous while at the doctor it jumped up to 180/113.  I'm a mess!  Can someone tell me what is going on with me?  I currently take 250 mcg of synthroid and 300/25 mg of Avalide for my blood pressure.  I'm desperate!  I feel like I am dying.  

[shermay]

NO YOUR NOT!!!!

More than likely the reason for your high blood pressure is due to the alcohol, and stress that you been under for the last 2 years.  It's hard I know to realize what is coming first, the alcohol or the stress.

Go back to your Dr's and explain (if you can) what is going on - they are here to help us.  As for your panic attacks, do they come on after or before your drinking?  

BTW it's normal for blood pressure to rise at the Dr's, have you considered buying a home blood pressure kit?

Debs

[mammo]

You need to see a psychiatrist so the two of you can determine the best course of treatment for you....therapy, and/or medication.  Your self medicating with the alcohol, and you need to get into AA for this.  I know it all feels so overwhelming, but it's one step at a time, and one day at a time.  You can turn this all around with the proper help and get your life back.  It sounds like the divorce took it's toll on you, emotionally and physically.  It's time to take back your life and start living the happy, fulfilling life you deserve and want. There is so much help for you, and starting with AA and a psychiatrist is your best bet.  You're not dying....yet, but you need to seek the needed help to turn this all around.  Things happen in life which can be too much on us, and that's okay so long as you get the proper help.  I'm sure you felt a drink here and there to calm yourself wouldn't be a problem, and it just spiraled out of control which happens.  Just know you're not alone, stay with us for support along the way.  You're too young to be enduring so much, and it's time to say enough is enough and seek professional help.  There's no shame in this, we've all had to do it. It will take some time and work from you but I think your life and happiness is well worth it.  Things will be okay, and I wish you all the best.