anxiety issues

[gnomey]

Long story short- I have ptsd, severe anxiety w/ some panic attacks.  Went to doc, doc gave me klonopin, which I feel is making me depressed.  I cant take ssri's because they DEFINATELY make me depressed- I am normally composed just have physical anxiety symptoms.  Well, I have taken xanax but only because a friend who also has panic attacks was prescribed them, and I know that works very well for me, and seems to wear off quicker, where as the klonopin makes me sleepy and feels like it drags me down, the xanax did not make me feel high, it made me feel normal. I almost cried when I think about it because I dont know how to tell my doctor that I think it might work for me.

I guess its hard because as a rape victim you know you need help but all my family and friends act like taking medicine is a cop-out, and the last time i went to the doc, like 5 years ago, he found out the hospital had precribed me klonopin and freaked out, saying I would get addicted to it, and made some comment about drug seeking behavior.  I felt so ashamed I didnt go to the doctor for like 5 years.  I am so tired of being a guinea pig, and here I find something that works and it is taboo.

How do I talk with my doctor about this, in the school brochure it makes some statement about it being illegal to accept medicine from friends and family, dont want to get in trouble for mentioning I tried it through a friend, who gave it to me in the first place because i was having a panic attack and really needed it.  I just want to feel normal.

thanks.

[kimmi3333]

hi hon the hole thing about being raped will never go away  it will get better but takes time.it pops up every now and then and i still sit and cry.did you go to the police?the reason i am on lozapm is have alot more on my plat.my mom passed away and i have other things on my mind.i know that feeling.i am the typ of person if you dont like what you hear are see  i dont care its my life.listen ok take a day at a time.calm down.please dont let it get you down.as long as u do you not be in controll.please be carefull and dont let noone get you down......

[gnomey]

i went to the doctor today- who made me feel pretty stupid.  He said Klonopin doesnt make people depressed.  I didnt say anything about xanx, but he prescribed me lorazapem instead, he said it doesnt last as long.  it kind of stinks because If this doesnt work I have to wait a whole month to see him again-

then when I picked up the medicine at the school pharmacy, the pharmacist was speaking very loudly about taking them for anxiety and how she hoped it helped me and blah blah blah, when there was a line of students behind me!  How embarrassing, it seems like health professionals would be, i dunno, more professional??  arghh!!

kimmi, its interesting you say you've had anxiety for 5 months.  do you think its cause by the rape- because i never saw a doctor really until years after being raped, it was like I was in shock and when that wore off and I could acknowledge what happened, thats when all these uncontrollable physical symptoms began.

anyhow, thanks

[kimmi3333]

i know how you feel i was raped  when i was 15 and  it still haunts me for my anxietys i take ativan 1 mgs. when i have anxiety i pace and walk around the block a few times.i have asthma to so that dont help at all....i am 31 now and i have this for 5 months................ and it drives me nuts

[gnomey]

just wanted to add- i was prescribed i think.5mg of klonopin- usually i only have to break one in half and that works for the whole day- Im very sensitive to everything I put in my body, even food.  the doc acted like i was lying and said that "wouldnt even do anything" but honestly even that little bit made me feel tired and after a few days depressed & foggy.

like I said, I hate doctors!  or I havent found a good one yet!