I would check out our OCD forum...there are SO many threads there about HOCD. The CL down there, JGF does a great job, check out her thread "anatomy of a horrific thought". It does a nice job explaining how this cycle of thinking works, and some ways to try to stop it.
Understand I'm not saying you have OCD (I wouldn't be surprised at all if you did)...but just pointing you in a direction that I think would be helpful.
I think you should seek professional help to determine what exactly you're dealing with, and the best way to proceed. None of us for sure can tell you what you have and don't have. You describe a very typical case of HOCD, for the most part. You need to seek some help to sort this out, and be able to start addressing it.
Just FYI...OCD CAN manifest without the compulsions, that's been coined "Pure O". More offen than not, there is some kind of "checking" behavior, or compulsion. For some people, it might be less severe than for others.
God luck!
What you have is obsessive thinking that is bothering you. The content of what is bothering you is very common, many people go through a sexual orientation crisis but it passes with time. What you don't describe is OCD, which involves not just obsessive thinking but also compulsive behaviors. Whether you're gay or straight or bi isn't important, that's just the way you turn out to be, but worrying about it so much is the problem. I'd discuss this with a counselor to reassure yourself this is a normal concern of people.
Hi and thank you for sharing this, I am going through something similar, I used to be afraid of death too, I learned to get over it with accepting it in a biblical way, also, woman in my church have also helped me to get over it. Also, along with your orientation I'm going through the same. Maybe you should talk to a Dr. about hormones, they have a lot to do with your body. Also, I'm going to go see a Christian councilor for help, this could be a good idea for you too, I hope all gets better soon, also look up exodus international.org
thank you so much for sharing your story. my ocd is making me overthink every interaction with the same sex, and it provoked more by reading other peoples hocd stories, which make me more anxious. im afraid ill never like being with the opposite sex and this bothers me to a point where i dont know who i am anymore, even though I used to be so confident in what i wanted.
To start out I know how you feel. I've been through this but in a different way. I am a heterosexual male, but was always forced to believe that I was gay by somebody that was in my life just because I had not lost my virginity to a woman yet when I was 12. The thoughts came and went throughout my life because of this person. I have had OCD since I was sixteen years old and have the mental illness strongly. I know what's it like, and I understand those thoughts repeating in your head and not going away. The first thing to do is just breathe. I have been in therapy for a few years now and have learned many coping strategies along the way. Don't be so hard on yourself about what your going through. I would definitely seek out therapy which will greatly benefit you. I know those thoughts can be annoying, but start by first accepting them and then taking that one step action by slowly putting one foot in front of the other and seeking the help you need. Maybe your parents might be able to join in on the therapy, they should not be teasing you about things like that, but that's really not my place to make judgments. Just want to let you know that your not alone.
no but soon. hopefully im not what i fear.
It sounds like it may be OCD. I'm not a Dr though and can't diagnose you with anything. Are you in therapy for the OCD?