bad thoughts that i cant control

[boot234]

hi iam a mother of 4 and a wife and i love my kis and husband with all my heart but these thoughts keep going through my mind about death and i dont wanna die and i dont wish death on no one but it keeps eating at me can someone please help........

[1morales]

thnx for all of the advise, I just gave a great big huge sigh of relief I was really starting to worry I was gonna do something bad and needed help. Thanks a bunch i'm gonna hit the gym here later for some good ol exercise. I hope everyone is alright with there situation as well. I've had anxiety for a few years now and it came so unexpected. Wishing everyone the most best and positive days to come!.....ps thanks Doc.

[nursegirl6572]

Good news and bad news!!!!  The bad news is....this is VERY much a common part of panic disorder (and some other disorders).....and tends to stick around at times.

The good news is....as scary as they may be...they are TOTALLY harmless.  They are just your brain's way of creating a fear where one doesn't exist (especially in the case of PD).  A panic attack is so frustrating b/c you get this overwhelming sensation of terror, with NO trigger!  That's also what makes it so scary...the fact that it seems to "come out of the blue", so to speak.  Therefore...our wonderful minds find a way to "one up" us...they dream up the most horrific thoughts...from ourselves dying..., from driving the car off the road while driving,  or God forbid us harming our most cherished ones in life.  As scary as they are...again, they mean nothing.  A homicidal maniac doesn't worry about these kinds of thoughts...they plan them.

The most reassuring thing?  This actually has a name.  They are called "intrusive thoughts"...and that is EXACTLY what they are...unwanted, unwarranted, uninvited thoughts put in our minds for the sole purpose of frightening us.

In a way it is kind of amazing....b/c it is our body trying to put into perspective the fear of a panic attack...by creating a REAL fear...but as a result...we just get that much more frightened.  Great, huh?

The 1st time I experienced this...I thought for sure my days out in society were over...and I was going to be looking at a new wardrobe...with shirts that buckle in the back.  ;0)  I was most relieved when my p-doc described the above to me.  As SOON as I knew that this was yet another "symptom" of PD...and it was quite commonplace amongst PD sufferers...I breathed a HUGE sigh of relief.  As soon as it made sense and I KNEW what I was up against...they quickly became less and less scary...until I was finally able to dismiss them.  Just like how I felt when my therapist perfectly explained a panic attack....like a fire alarm without the fire!  SO true!

Also, as you address the anxiety and start to control the panic...it will all fall into place...the thoughts diminish and go away.  I've also gotten mad at the thoughts and out loud (in my mind of course...so as to not make the new wardrobe fear become a reality)...told them to "Blankety Blank Blank...go away".  That worked some of the times too.

In a nutshell (lol---no pun intended) you are not alone...and you are NOT crazy.

[isabelcat]

Also, the more you fight them, the stronger they get> let them float in ,and out, say "stop" imaging you closing the door on that thought. n
not a great person to give advise, but i have suffer from anxiety,and panick for almost 9 years.

[isabelcat]

Well, i had these very exact scary thoughts also< i would think about death or what if i was to hurt my child or other loved one. my doctor says that " when you are felling very anxious you're mind thinks of the scariest things  you fear, it docent mean you will act on them....its you're anxiety trying to take over with things you will never do what should scare us is if we have these thought and fell comfort, then professional help is needed.

[gumbygumby]

I'm definately not qualified to give advice, but i do have similar thoughts. Do you think about these things even when you're with your family? When I cant stop thinking about death, I think i really need a loved one to hold.

[kcatx]

I totally know how you feel! I had the same exact thing happen to me. They scared me so much that I didn't know what to do other than stay in my room and watch movies trying to forget about it. With me I would see outlines of peoples jaws and it would remind me of skulls and death.

My anxiety kicked in and made me worry about WHY I was having these thoughts and it was a horrible experience. I was told also that you should just let the thoughts come and not fight them. What helped me was air hockey. Sounds random but I had so much fun playing air hockey and when the games got intense I forgot about what was going on, it was like a vice.

I feel better i'm not the only one that has this problem.

[Anz428]

what type of meds do you take for the the nauosness?

[blondie706]

heyy,

this is the reason why i first went to the psychiatrist, i kept thinking about suicide. DONT GO ON MEDS. They just put you in a fog and provide a whole host of other problems.

But my best advice is to just let the thoughts come and not fight with them. The reason they are causing so much stress is because you are giving them meaning. The difference between being suicidal and not is whether or not you want to die and you said you don't.

I feel your pain, I know this can be extremely horrid. I can't get excited for things because I'm afraid i'll have done something crazy before.

Be strong! And remember they are just thoughts, you won't put them into action. Ive had them for about 3 months now - i think if i wanted to do it, i would have done it.

[Anz428]

I am the same way.  I always think about my parents, boyfriend, and friends too.  I went to an anxiety website and it was saying when thoughts like this get in your head to say NO!  Try yoga with you and your kids and husband make it something to do at nite.  Take a walk or read.  We are all going through this and you are not alone.  :-)