Aa
please help
hi guys
im so glad i have come across this website as i seem to get a lot of support from fertile questions to anxiety.I suffer extreme anxiety to a point where i become verbaly agressive to my partner, i seem to get this anxiety whenever he goes out with friends to get drunk i maybe somewhat insecure but im thinking maybe the anxiety leads on the insecurity and i was wondering if anyone knows of any councellior or any advice to over come this anxiety because its makeing me feel like crap and i get very emtional! it also makes my boyfriend feel like crap and he hasnt done anything wrong i accuse him of cheating all the time and i even feel like anxious when there is a girl on tv naked and my bf is watching it what do i do?
im so glad i have come across this website as i seem to get a lot of support from fertile questions to anxiety.I suffer extreme anxiety to a point where i become verbaly agressive to my partner, i seem to get this anxiety whenever he goes out with friends to get drunk i maybe somewhat insecure but im thinking maybe the anxiety leads on the insecurity and i was wondering if anyone knows of any councellior or any advice to over come this anxiety because its makeing me feel like crap and i get very emtional! it also makes my boyfriend feel like crap and he hasnt done anything wrong i accuse him of cheating all the time and i even feel like anxious when there is a girl on tv naked and my bf is watching it what do i do?
like that im not that attractive to him at all! and yes i exercise 40 mins a day and do watch what i eat to
wow thank you guys i feel a lot better just reading everyones ideas and advice its amazing the support you get from these websites. Yes about a day ago i deceided that im going to try and give this a go by going out and meeting new people and to start that off i have applied for a job and have a job interview tomorrow so fingers crossed about that this could be a start of an improvement. When my bf and i first met i had no insecurities or worrys i would be able to go out clubbing with my friends back home and would enjoy myself and woulfdnt worry the slightest if my bf was talking to other women or giving them attention, but as the relationship developed further through an emotional connection i just found myself becoming attached to him, and started to get protective slowly which does not make me happy that i have become that person. I slowly developed a sick feeling in my stomach everytime he called me to say he is working back late at work immmed would develop a cold sweat and would feel so sick where one time i did nearly vomit.
It just got worse and worse when i was with him i was fine to an extent but if a movie came on and there was a sex scene and you could see the womans breast i would immed jump up and say " u sick f@@k" just to make him feel bad for it and i would storm off in tears and rage and would refuse to even look at him and as you know he wasnt feeling to great after that either he would feel horrible for no reason. This went on for ages.
Now im living with him in a different state away from the people i love and yes he is out working and socializing with other people which makes me insanley jealous especially if its women but im hopeing if i do get this job this might be able to improve how im feeling hopefuly in a positive way. I just feel like im alone in this though , do you think i have an eating disorder may " who did you have sex with" or " dont i do it for you" and everytime i have been dumped by a guy i always blame it on my weight issues and the reason why i get ****** with him watching naked girls on movies is because they have that "perfect body" perky breasts size 2 wasit and the glowing skin, full lips etc i could crap on! and i dont feel li
It just got worse and worse when i was with him i was fine to an extent but if a movie came on and there was a sex scene and you could see the womans breast i would immed jump up and say " u sick f@@k" just to make him feel bad for it and i would storm off in tears and rage and would refuse to even look at him and as you know he wasnt feeling to great after that either he would feel horrible for no reason. This went on for ages.
Now im living with him in a different state away from the people i love and yes he is out working and socializing with other people which makes me insanley jealous especially if its women but im hopeing if i do get this job this might be able to improve how im feeling hopefuly in a positive way. I just feel like im alone in this though , do you think i have an eating disorder may " who did you have sex with" or " dont i do it for you" and everytime i have been dumped by a guy i always blame it on my weight issues and the reason why i get ****** with him watching naked girls on movies is because they have that "perfect body" perky breasts size 2 wasit and the glowing skin, full lips etc i could crap on! and i dont feel li
Welcome to the Anxiety Community!
In addition to the great ideas above, I'd like to offer some other suggestions.
You said you relocated with your BF. Have these feelings of insecurity, jealousy and anxiety developed since then? Or, did you feel that way before you moved as well?
Relocating is hard in any circumstance, so it's normal that it would be causing you some anxiety. You're also seeing your BF develop friendships and have a social life, while I'm assuming you're not? That is stressing you out and probably makes you feel isolated.
In addition to some therapy, I would recommend that you "get out there"...meet some new people and start your own circle of friends, seperate from your BF. That is healthy is ANY relationship! And, I DON'T mean start going out as some sort of "pay back" for your BF's social activities. It isn't a contest and you shouldn't set out to try to make HIM feel bad, like you do. If he hasn't given you a reason to distrust him, then many of these feelings are probably stemming from your insecurites. Could he be more sensitive to your feelings? Maybe. But, you need to work on YOU first. There are a lot of things you can do!
Try to adapt to your new area. Get out and drive around, find a new coffee shop, or library, any place you would enjoy going to. Sign up for some kind of class that interests you where you can also meet some new people.
We all have times when we feel insecure and certainly moving away from your family and friends will do that. It's how you deal with it that wil determine how your relationship with your BF goes. Be open and honest with him that you're having a rough time and want to work through it together. Ask him to be a little patient with you during this readjustment period. There is also nothing wrong with asking him to spend some time with you, maybe going out for dinner, or again, exploring your new surroundings TOGETHER. Just don't suffocate him, make demands or accusations. I know that isn't easy, but sometimes it's best to just put a smile on your face, tell him to have fun and try not to just react to your emotions. He'll appreciate it. Once you start working on your anxiety and insecurity, the way you feel will improve. get out there and make a life for yourself in your town and while it may be scary, try to look at that in a positive light. In 6 months from now, you may be SO glad you made the change and love your new home.
Best of luck...let us know how it's going!
In addition to the great ideas above, I'd like to offer some other suggestions.
You said you relocated with your BF. Have these feelings of insecurity, jealousy and anxiety developed since then? Or, did you feel that way before you moved as well?
Relocating is hard in any circumstance, so it's normal that it would be causing you some anxiety. You're also seeing your BF develop friendships and have a social life, while I'm assuming you're not? That is stressing you out and probably makes you feel isolated.
In addition to some therapy, I would recommend that you "get out there"...meet some new people and start your own circle of friends, seperate from your BF. That is healthy is ANY relationship! And, I DON'T mean start going out as some sort of "pay back" for your BF's social activities. It isn't a contest and you shouldn't set out to try to make HIM feel bad, like you do. If he hasn't given you a reason to distrust him, then many of these feelings are probably stemming from your insecurites. Could he be more sensitive to your feelings? Maybe. But, you need to work on YOU first. There are a lot of things you can do!
Try to adapt to your new area. Get out and drive around, find a new coffee shop, or library, any place you would enjoy going to. Sign up for some kind of class that interests you where you can also meet some new people.
We all have times when we feel insecure and certainly moving away from your family and friends will do that. It's how you deal with it that wil determine how your relationship with your BF goes. Be open and honest with him that you're having a rough time and want to work through it together. Ask him to be a little patient with you during this readjustment period. There is also nothing wrong with asking him to spend some time with you, maybe going out for dinner, or again, exploring your new surroundings TOGETHER. Just don't suffocate him, make demands or accusations. I know that isn't easy, but sometimes it's best to just put a smile on your face, tell him to have fun and try not to just react to your emotions. He'll appreciate it. Once you start working on your anxiety and insecurity, the way you feel will improve. get out there and make a life for yourself in your town and while it may be scary, try to look at that in a positive light. In 6 months from now, you may be SO glad you made the change and love your new home.
Best of luck...let us know how it's going!
No problem...you have a lot on your plate right now and stress and anxiety can be a part of any change that we experience in my opinion. Don't let it get you down, because we all have problems that we must confront.
Thanks guys this means alot I forgot to mentio I have moved states with my partner and have left fam and friends behind
Insecurity can lead to anxiety. I know first hand. Here is a book you might want to look up: Self-Communication by Joseph Luciani. It addresses the "child within" that shows up when we don't want it to and ways to address these insecurities with positive self-talk.
Counseling is a smart way to go in my opinion. Do you have access to therapy? Quite often, it will shed some light on why you are getting anxious and jealous about your boyfriend. Also, do not get down on yourself for this...you are anxious and there is nothing inherently wrong with you. You are just experiencing a challenge and you will get through it. In my experience, any form of anxiety can take a toll on our self esteem, however, as you learn about it and confront it, I believe it will make you a stronger person and better with your relationship...keep us posted!
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