Medicine. Depressed for the first time. . . ?

[sleepsleep]

Hi forum.
So yeah like many of you, I have anxiety.....
It controls my life and it hate. . .Still I have always been focused on the good side of things. . . I mean..... I love life as a whole. . . . But for the first time, I think im actually getting really depressed. . . .
Been asked many times if I felt depressed, but never felt that was the case. . . but lately. . . Well..... My thoughts have gotten very sad and gloomy.
Not gonna go into details, cause honestly, I think my words could make you crumble to your knees.

So im getting tired of it all..... NOT in the suicidal sense. Just wanna make that clear. Could never even consider it.
But just want to break free soon. Otherwise I fear Im gonna be locked up in my own prison soon, and never escape it.

Ive strongly thought about starting on some medicine. . . But honestly it scares the **** out of me.
Made a deal with my doc to start on some new pills two weeks ago, but havent started.
Scared of what effect they might have. And the"side effects"!
One of the side effect of these pills is. . .  .Wait for it. . . . A coma! I mean... Damn. . .  .
I hate the fact that every doc says : Oh dotn worry about the side effects, you wont get them.... Maybe some minor. . . Well clearly someone had some of the worse* side effects for them to write it on the pack.....
Yeah..... I want to start on these pills in hope they might first of eliminate these "thoughts" im battling. . .And also help me fight the overall anxiety..... Just to scared to start....

[sleepsleep]

Thanks for the response. But yeah, dont really feel like I can "stay" happy and keep looking at the brighter things atm.- But sad thing is I aint in therapy. Just aint a option for me atm. (however I have a "contact" that kinda looks after me, and makes sure I get out of the house now and then).

[benthic_man]

I respect the fact that you don't want to take medication, but your reasoning is faulty. It is correct to assume that you won't have side effects that are worse than what you're already experiencing with depression and anxiety. So long as you're undergoing psychotherapy or counseling to discover the root cause of your problems, medication can be useful in helping to keep you in a mental state that is conducive to helping yourself. Without therapy, however, medication is often just a band-aid to make it easier to try to forget about your problem.
          Anxiety and depression go hand in hand, like butter and toast. With therapy, relaxation techniques and, sometimes, medication, anxiety can be managed successfully. Honestly, from the sound of your post, you're pretty miserable. The medication offered might be what you need to get your brain to a place where you can successfully work out your problems with a professional.  Good luck!

[avc00]

Pills will help as long as used correctly but you can also try