pregnant and losing it!

[srb27]

I am a 23 yr old female, 5 months pregnant. About 5 years ago I started having extremely weird feelings/episodes out of nowhere one day. At the time I also became so nauseous and nervous that I couldn't keep any food down. I wasn't throwing up, I was just so to pieces that I couldn't physically eat. I lost a lot of weight, and became completely irrational/inconsolable. I was convinced that I was dying of some undiagnosed neurological disease. Somewhere along the way, I became convinced that I had a brain tumor. I was told by about three different GP doctors that I had panic disorder and needed to go back on antidepressant medication, which I had stopped taking about 2 months before these weird feelings began. Finally, one doctor sent me for a non-contrast CT scan just to shut me up. It came back normal, and I was over the brain tumor deal for a little while. This was in 2006. In Feb. of 2009 the weird episodes returned, and once again, I lost it. I had to be taken to another GP who gave in and sent me for an MRI without contrast after I went hysterical in his office. The MRI came back clear, and I was put on Pristiq and Lamictal for panic disorder and bi-polar disorder. Well, this past October I discovered I was pregnant, and was told by my OBGYN that it was recommended that I stopped taking my meds because of the uncertain affect they would have on the baby. So, around mid-November I stopped taking my meds. For a little while, I was okay. Recently, though, I began having overwhelming anxiety. I will wake up out of sleep nervous. I have moments where I begin to feel completely weak and have to sit down. I have strange muscle twitches and tingling sensations all over my body. Feelings of heat and cold on my skin all over that seem to have no real source. My heart had very unsettling flutters. The weird feelings have come back as well...sort of rolling every day. When I get these feelings I begin to feel as if something inside of my body is coming to an apex. My legs feel as if they won't function. It's as if all of my synapses are firing or something. I do not hyperventilate or feel as if I'm going to have a heart attack...I just feel weird and scared. Yesterday morning, I awoke and couldn't move my left hand for about 5 seconds. I was so wrecked with fear over it that I couldn't even remember whether I had been sleeping on it and whether that caused it or not. My OBGYN seems to think that I am just hormonal combined with not being medicated, but I'm worried that I have a brain tumor or maybe MS and that the weird feelings are seizures caused by the possible tumor. He's sending me to a neuro on March 4th, and I have to take copies of my MRI from 2009 with me. My OB said "just so he can look at them and  tell you that you are alright". I'm worried that I didn't have a sufficient scan to rule out a tumor. Shouldn't I have had contrast when I had the MRI in 2009? I read things that say and MRI is essentially useless without the dye when looking for tumors. Why didn't they order a contrast MRI when I was obviously worried about tumors? Now that I am experiencing weird symptoms again and am pregnant, I can't have the MRI with the dye, can I? And what good is looking at a scan from 2 years ago going to do now? Am I just supposed to wait out a horrible diagnosis because I am pregnant? I'm really, really worried and am just looking for some advice or input from someone.

[Sorcha5]

Life hard,centra chestpain knw,feel like cnt breath r swallow,fear wt is wrng,and cnt gt test dne whn pregnant,wt good wit thm dne last yr,tis a different yr,symptons gt worse

[pinkgurl361]

I started out the same way, brain tumor. Convinced my headaches and dizziness were caused by it, now I know I have anxiety, and slowly am learning to live with it

[Sorcha5]

I am in the same way gt chestpain above my left breast dry mouth,head in pain,pains in left arms,gt test dne last yr al ok,bp ok,and am 6mnths pregnant,fear2go2 bed,think im seriously ill,bt tld it al anxiety,

[Alisonj29]

You really sound like you are suffering from health anxiety. I have it as well and its horrible. I was taken off all my meds and put on Paxil while pregnant. I found it kept me in control and feeling well throughout the pregnancies(I was on it for all 3 of my children). I think maybe you need to talk to your doctor and OB and let them know how badly you are feeling. There are medications that are safe during pregnancy and many times the small risk they carry outweigh the risks of you not coping well. Also seeing someone so you can talk about everything you are scared of will really help. I have been there so I know how scary it is. Please see your doc as soon as you can. Take care and keep us updated

[mommytimes]

I have had nearly ALL the symptoms you are experiencing right now! I was diagnosed years ago with OCD (my main worry was health related, especially cancers) and major depression, as well as generalized anxiety disorder. I was on a slew of meds and was lucky enough to recover to the point that I was able to get off all of them but one. I realized when I became pregnant with my 1st child in 2006 that I couldn't function without that last medication. My doctor at the time decided my health should come first, because without me taking care of myself emotionally, I would not be able to "grow" a healthy baby. Besides, the effects of uncontrolled stress and anxiety on a developing fetus are NOT GOOD. My advice to you is the same advice I myself am following now that I am pregnanct with my second child. Find another psychiatrist and get the opinion of another OB. Find someone who will treat you with something deemed safe DURING your pregnancy. I know a lot of people will disagree with me on this, but I have been where you are and a lot of them have not. You need to keep your emotional health in check during your pregnancy, and going on like this for another four months is not good for you or the baby. Seek advice from other dr's and find someone who will treat you. Make sure they discuss the pros and cons of any medication you think about taking. They'll help you choose the correct one and the lowest possible dose that will still work for you.
I think (from personal experience and the way you describe your symptoms) that you are also having severe panic attacks. I have had them so bad that I was taken to the ER thinking I was having a heart attack. It is not as easy as just "pulling yourself together" when you have an actual psychological disorder. That would be like asking someone who is diabetic to just "pull themselves together" and stop taking their insulin. If you need help, you need help. Do it for yourself and your baby. There are safe options available to pregnant women but sometimes you have the find the right doctor. You're brave for seeking help and talking about a somewhat taboo subject. Women think they have to be super strong because they are now carrying another life. I am all for safety during pregnancy but we must care for the mothers too or they cannot have healthy babies.
I have a BS in psychology and have had various conditions since childhood and I DO NOT for a nano-second think there is ANYTHING physically wrong with you. It is emotional, and it does need to be treated. Yes, even while you are pregnant. In fact, even more so because you are pregnant. Take care of yourself and your little one. I wish you both the absolute best and I hope you will seek out another opinion. Stay safe!  :)

[ptmomvalkel]

Honey, you need to calm yourself down and concentrate as best you can on you baby. The more relaxed you are, the better it is for you baby.  Your dr is right and you don't need to use the dye.  The tumors are slow growing enough that it's ok to have many years between MRI s.  More like 10 yes.  When my daughter was being checked for a brain tumor they explained that to me.  You need to try to put up with the weirdness and as soon as you deliver get back on your meds.  The fact that these feelings return when ou go off your meds is not just a coincidence.