how can I help my Paranoid Mom

[MUNMUN1]

Dear
my problem and the other 7 brothers and sisters, is our Mom,
she does not trust any body.especially my father, she turns our life to a terrible one.
she thinks and she is 100% sure that my father wants to kill her to have an affair with
another woman. we all know this is not true? she is sure that he tried to hold her kneck while she was
sleeping to kill her? and since then she does not sleep at night at all. she sleeps only when he goes to work.

some time we believed her and try to watch Dad's behavior, but nothing of what she said is true,
he is 71 years old and diabeatic, and sexually not active, how he can have an affair and with who,
also she always said: when he dies you will find out the truth, he has another children from another women.

he never sleeps out of home, he never travels alone, he never be late to come home..
but he does not treat her with love!

and the problem starts where we defend our father and tell her that everything she said does not
have any evidence? she does not trust us anymore..
I was going crazy. she starts to be very irritating, compulsing
until I started to read about personality disorder..she is paranoid!!! I am not a doctor, but everything
in paranoid personality describes her..

she does not go with us to a mall, she would be scared to get lost and never found her way a gain,
she never goes out by herself, she is a fraid to be unconsiuos due to her high blood pressure and no one fine her!

the problem is she does not trust us, and if I am going to tell her to go the doctor, she will accuse me of trying to
make her crazy and get rid of her..
and this what she told my father when he told her to see a therapist!!!

how can I deal with her.. I really want to help her and help our family and my brothers and sisters.

Thanks

[mifegr]

Hi, I'm so sorry that you and your brothers and sisters (and dad) and have to live in a house with someone like this.  I'm a nutritionist, and I have seen a lot of people with mental illness.  Your mother clear has it.  But getting her to seek help sounds like a problem.  Here's an idea though...When someone in the family is a addict - whether they are addicted to alcohol, drugs, whatever, and the family members can't get the addicted person in the family to seek help because they can't get the addicted person to even see that they have a problem -they do what's called, "an intervention."  That means, they contact alcoholics annon, or narcotics annon, and they tell them what's going on.  They tell them that the addicted person in the family will not seek help or even admit that they need it.  And that the addicted person's addiction is effecting each person in the family's life in a very negative way.  The rep from there then gets a meeting together of all the family members.  And the rep is there too.  They invite the addicted person.  However, the addicted person doesn't know that the rep is going to be there, or even that he is coming to a meeting about HIM.  He may just think he's coming over for lunch with the family or something.  So, then the rep tells the addicted person who he is, (not why he's there.  they tell him that at the end) and that they family has something to tell the addicted person.  Then, one at a time, each family member tells the addicted person how their behavior has negetively affected their lives.  They also tell them that they love them dearly and want them to get help.  At the end, after each family member speaks, the rep days, "You need professional help.  There is a car ouside waiting to take you to a center where you can stay and get this help.  You'll only be there 30 days, blah, blah, blah."  And (hopefully) off the addicted person goes.  Sometimes the addicted person won't go.  But MOST of the time they do because each family member just told them that they love them and how their behaviour is ruining their life. So, here's what you might do honey.  Find a therapist.  Ask around if anyone knows a good psychiatrist.  Find one that's a woman (very important).  Get her on the phone, or write her a letter.  Tell her what you told me.  Tell her that you want to do "An intervention..like they do with addicts."  Ask her how you would go about such a thing.  Your mom may not need to go into a psych hospital (although it would be great if you could get her to do so).  She may just need to get on medication and get psycho therapy (talk therapy) every week.  Don't give up.  Find a professional who will do an intervention with you and your siblings and your dad there.  And pray.  God will help you.  Remember, He loves you all.  Good luck!

[ILADVOCATE]

Well you and your family can encourage her to see a psychiatrist in a supportive manner because it will help her recovery which it will. If things get out of hand a person can be hospitalized and they will stabilize them with medication there and then they'll be released. And I wouldn't make a diagnosis. Let the psychiatrist do that. Obviously she is psychotic but as a person who has made a full recovery from schizoaffective disorder with an experimental treatment in Phase II FDA study (read through my posts) I'd say schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorder (schiozphrenia with a mood disorder) or bipolar with psychotic features are far more common than what you describe. But only a psychiatrist can make a diagnosis and medication combined with talk therapy would definitely be able to help her.