stressed,worried, anxiety ridden over health issues

[tara1414]

Hi. I am 45 years old in good health except when it comes to my anxiety.

I beleive I suffer from OCD as well. Have always worried about my health but more so since my mom died of cancer in 2003. This past week has been like the week from hell for me. It started when I began worrying about a minor mouth sore that wasnt going away fast enouph for me. It finally did go away and I was due to get my period two days ago, still have not gotten it. It is never even two days late, even during stressful times. I know that I am not pregnant because my husband had a vasectomy. I do not think it is menapause although maybe pre-menapause. Not sure but ofcourse I go right to cancer. I start thinking that I have a tumer. And to make matter even worse this morning while having a BM I noticed blood in the toilet, At first I thought it was my period, but wiped in front nothing. Wiped in back and a little more blood. The bleeding stopped but I did call my gastro doc and made an appt for three days from now.

My concerns are the next three days and getting into my head about all the possibilities of what is wrong with me. I go on-line sites and read things that make me feel worse and then I get sick to my stomach. I wish I would atleast get my period. I feel like I have period symptoms but no bleeding.

All in all I feel completely wiped out. stressed and full of anxiety and depression.
Cand ANYONE relate??? any responses would be greatly appreciated

thanks

[tara1414]

Thanks for the responses to all of you... ris27, I had the swollen lymph node scare too, it was about four years ago. Eventually the swelling went down, was tested and nothing. Infact since I was 36 I have had a mamogram every year and every year I am sure that the results will be abnormal. One year I got a call back saying that they found something on my right breast. Ofcourse I began thinking about my funeral, it turned out to be a cyst, which by the way dissapeared on its own even before they did the ultra-sound. Then ofcourse I made them re test it to be sure. I have had so many scares. Oral cancer, breast cancer, cervical, ovarion, and ofcourse colon cancer scares. I get so depressed during a scare that I can barely even get out of bed. Tommorrow I have to go to work and am not at all feeling up to it. All I can think about is the blood in toilet, the possibilities of what it can be and whether or not it will happen again.
thanks again for all the responses. stay in touch..

[rls27]

I experienced something very similar Tara. About three years ago I was getting blood after BM. Sometimes it would actually drip bright red into the bowl or there would just be blood on the TP. It freaked me out since I have always been somewhat of a hypochondriac. I had also been having some gastrointenstinal pain in my upper right quadrant. My anxiety and hypochondria really ramped up after my 17 year old stepson died just months prior. Since then, every symptom I have regarding health issues I have gone over the edge believing it is cancer.

So, when I saw the bloody BM, I got a referrel to a specialist. He couldn't find anything wrong with me so he ordered a CT scan. Came back clean. I still couldn't let it go, so he ordered up a colonscopy. The bleeding was an interior hemorroid.

Every year since then I've sworn to myself I have some form of cancer. Last year I thought I had breast cancer (I'm a 42 year old male BTW) after discovering a swollen lymph node in my armpit. After multiple exams, sonograms, and some unnecessary surgery to remove it, it turned out to be nothing. Even then, I couldn't relax, I swore they missed something. Constantly feeling around for lumps that weren't there and insisting I had cancer when I did not.

Anxiety and hypochondria can mimic the symptoms of many common and not so serious ailments. I've learned through therapy that because I'm so anxiety prone, that it's my thoughts about what I have that is real, not the actual condition. So "thinking" I have a tumor or cancer, is real, but that's all that real, my flawed thought process. In reality, I really don't have cancer. So I struggle with this every day, this tug of war in my mind. Some days I win, some days the anxiety wins. It's something I need to learn to live with. Meanwhile, the local ER is almost on a first name basis with me.

[erin626]

Most of the time a small amount of blood after a bm is not serious. It could be internal hemrhoids or something else that is not life threating. This is a bit personal but I noticed blood on the tp once and I flipped out (I too suffer from health anxiety) but later realized it was from a small knick from shaving.

I have convinced myself that I've had so many illnesses yet had none of them. Making an appt with the gi doc was a great first step but perhaps you should call your obgyn as well. You very well could be experiencing pre menopause. My mother called me a few years ago (she's 49 now so she was probly 46 when this happened) and was frantic because she had missed her period. She was terrified she was pregnant. But she wasn't. Turned out she was beginning to experience symptoms of menopause. She missed her period for like 2 months then had it for almost an entire month.

Try your best not to worry. It is very common for anxiety sufferers to assume the worst. Try doing things you enjoy to get your mind off of it. Playing a game or reading really helps me. Try speaking with a therapist too...if it happens to be menopause setting in that can really escalate anxiety.

[AM1995]

I can TOTALLY relate!!  It is not a fun way to live.  I have had health anxiety for what seems like forever...I do the same thing as you - become obsessed with negative 'what-ifs' when I have any sort of pain or symptom.  I've had a chest cold for the past week and keep thinking it's something much worse, yesterday my jaw started hurting when I was eating so now that's kind of replacing my chest congestion concerns... It can be a vicious cycle of thinking and emotions!  Depression can cause physical pain then focusing on it only seems to intensify the problem which can lead to more depression.  I hate it - and I'm sorry you're dealing with it too!!  Not sure of solutions... are you taking any medication?  Some people recommend seeing a therapist - I tried it and it didn't seem to do much. (It might not have been a good fit though)  I hope you find some relief!!  Posting on this site can be helpful, just so you can get your thoughts out and know that you're not alone in what you're going through... :-)