Hi, Ela. I have a great PCP now who does not just give me what I want for no good reason. I am on six different controlled substances to control several mental disorders. Some are as-need, some are not. I take responsibility by never abusing my meds, and taking them only as directed. My doctor stays on top of this by making sure that when I request a refill, I am not doing so too soon. He also ASKS me how I am doing on them, and if I feel like any changes need to be made. If so, we talk about it, and he gives me his professional opinion. I also see a counselor in the same practice: talk therapy with a super nice lady. I think this is great because my doctor and my counselor can exchange information about me so I get the best possible care. I feel that this is a good example of how a doctor-patient relationship should go. I hope that this is helpful. - Blu
Hello and welcome!
Couple questions...why did you get a new PCP? Did you leave the other doctor on good terms? What prompted the change?
It sounds like basically that you and your doctor had a good rapport, and he basically trusted you that you weren't either abusing the script or diverting it (ie selling it). There is responsibility on both ends here, yours and his. You were the one who continually asked for early refills, etc. Now, your doctor could have refused to do so, but again, it seems like there was a good level of trust built up.
Just from what you've said here, I don't think that your doctor acted inappropriately. Without knowing what he documented in your medical record, it's hard to say how he justified allowing the early Rx'es. If he's a thorough doctor, he most likely has everything well documented. That being said, he definitely could have raised some red flags, especially with the pharmacy, but it appears that he really didn't, which tells me he probably thoroughly documented the reasons for the way he was prescribing the Ativan.
The part of your post that talks about the possible interest beyond the doctor-patient relationship is a bit confusing. What exactly are you insinuating with that? Are you saying that the doctor liked you and therefore was reluctant to get a little tougher with you about how much you were taking? I'm just not sure how that relates to the medication concerns?
I've seen this scenario played out many times, and generally, most times what happens is, a patient at some point finds themselves wanting to come off a med like this, or finding that they are unable to keep taking the same amount due to doctors getting tough, or changing doctors...and usually the first thing the patient does is look to point their finger at the prescribing doctor. There's definitely a responsibility on the doctor's end, but in my honest opinion, I think you bear more responsibility in this situation as you were the one (in your own words) basically directing your care, you were well aware of the risks of the med, and despite at times not wanting to HAVE to take it for anxiety, you continued to do so. You also didn't try the other suggestions your doctor offered (for antidepressants). JUST my take on it. Patients definitely bear some level of responsibility in these situations. Doctors and patients have to have a level of trust, and obviously, in some cases (like yours), there may be more than others.
I can understand that you're in an unfortunate situation, but in all honesty, I don't think there's really much to figure out in this situation, and I wouldn't waste energy trying to do so. Some docs are more trusting and liberal than others, and generally, you speak highly of your old doc, which tells me he's probably one of those kinds of doctors. I think it's best to not dwell on WHY you're where you are or HOW you got here, but rather move forward and address the issues at hand. It's best that you're dealing with the Ativan, as long term regular use of a short acting benzo will only exacerbate anxiety in the long run, with the issues of tolerance and dependency.
As far as the new doctor's concerns, that's something he would have to take up with the other doctor, unless he has concerns that you were abusing your meds. That could be where he's coming from. If that's the case, there isn't much you can do to prove you weren't, just continue to be a compliant patient, be open minded and willing to at least try some of the suggestions made. Continue to work to address your anxiety. Are you in therapy? That's very important.
You also may want to revisit your stance on other meds. Have you tried any antidepressants? If so, what and for how long? The beautiful thing about anxiety treatment is that there are MANY different meds and many different KINDS of meds to try. Yes, the side effects aren't always fun, but there ARE ways to handle those, and luckily, they are pretty short lived.
I myself am readjusting to Zoloft after years of not being on anything, and while I've had days where the side effects were annoying and noticeable, I've pushed through and done a few things to minimize them, like starting out at a lower dose, working my way up. I tried a few years ago to go back on Zoloft and the side effects were terrible...but in hindsight, I didn't put a lot of effort into troubleshooting and trying to figure out ways to make it more tolerable. Just don't rule anything out. A lot of how a patient handles side effects is directly related to what they are doing (or not doing) to be proactive about the adjustment. We can certainly help you if you decide to give something a try. Like I said before, therapy is a must. If you've just been treating this medicinally, you've just put a band-aid on the wound. Therapy is where the real progress occurs.
Best to you, keep posting, we're here and we understand what it's like to try to deal with anxiety! We're happy to help, glad you found us!
That is quite unusual and there are so many with a clean record but can't get a compassionate doc to help.
You are wise to want the meds out of you life and your willingness to do so!
I thought that meds like that, Benzodiazapines are under strict control FDA, DEA, AMA & the like. Very odd.