So angry. Medical bills.

[breakdance202]

I recently spent time in the hospital. I went online to assess the financial damage, and right now our bills are hovering just below three thousand dollars, and that's not even with everything included yet. I'm so angry. I told the police that the hospital they took me too was not in network. I TOLD them I wasn't dying, but no one would listen to me! I wasn't suicidal! I just wanted to wake up (I know that doesn't make sense, but it made sense to me at the time).

Paramedics and ER visit were not required. All they did was monitor me, and the only thing wrong with me was that I had an abnormally slow heart beat. I even peed clean, which I don't know how was possible because I'd been taking clonazepam all day, and took quite a few that night, and I think I may have taken some alprazolam as well. I know I took quite a bit of propranolol.

But, apparently I can take any drug I want and not pee dirty.

I'm just so angry about the entire situation! It makes me want to scream and break some dishes, but we live in an apartment complex, and the last thing I need is for a neighbor to call the police, and have more police at my door asking me if I'm going to cooperate!

I have no idea how we're going to pay for me to see this new doctor at the end of the month or pay for my therapy appointments. I just want to say **** it and wean myself off of everything and not see anyone.

[breakdance202]

Thanks. :o) Yeah. I'm going to talk to new doc about it next week.

[CRSeaside]

You sound great today. Keep up the good work. Maybe talk to your Pdoc about lower dose Seraquel. I never had a hangover feeling from it. Your dose could be too high. Lots of love. Maxy

[breakdance202]

No need for worries. I do take meds as prescribed, even the seroquel despite how I'm having problems with it because it makes it nearly impossible to get up in the morning. I have to get at least nine hours of sleep, just to sleep it off. And sometimes it gives me a hangover feeling. Example: right now it feels like I drank four vodkas last night.

And moodwise I feel good. I'm not depressed. I've been getting plenty of sleep. I've been reading those books. I've been seeing a therapist, which has been helping a bit with my stress and anger issues. All is good. :o)

[CRSeaside]

Hi Breakdance, you need to please take your medication as prescribed.
Taking more can lead to a psychotic break. Your driving and listening to loud music while screaming is a way to cope. But I worry about you. You need to pay attention to the road and other drivers while driving your car!
I'm glad you keep a journal. Now get busy thinking and writing down other coping mechanisms. Can you get a jogging stroller to jog with your daughter for example?  Getting physical activity is super helpful to add good chemistry to the brain. Is there a class you can join ? Many park and recreation depts offer good classes for much less than a gym. I like Jazzercise. Maxy

[breakdance202]

Thanks everyone for the advice. I am going to call the insurance company once the bills start coming in. Everything will get figured out in the end.

I also took quite a bit of unisom that night. Despite that and the clonazepam and alprazolam and propranolol I took I still didn't sleep! I think I may have lost consciousness for a bit in the ambulance on the way to the hospital, but I can't remember for sure. I have no idea how much of everything I took in general, but in the end it was decided that I hadn't overdosed because I just had the slow heart beat thing, and they didn't need to do anything but monitor me for awhile, and my urine was benzo free (somehow). I must metabolize medication at lightning speed or something.

I do have a copy of the police report. Well, a copy of some report that states what happened that night and why the police were called. My husband told them that I'd been delusional and having hallucinations, so I think that's why no one believed me when I said I wasn't dying. He called 911 out of desperation because I obviously needed immediate help, and we have a three year old daughter, and he didn't want to wake her up to drive me to the hospital.  

When I'm angry I usually go on long drives and listen to music loudly and scream. Last time I did this I actually lost my voice for a few days afterwards. ;o)

I'm looking at this experience in a new, positive light. I'm thankful that I'm able to get help when I need it, and that there are meds that help me. It's hard to live a positive life when you're depressed or crazed.

I also wanted to thank all of you in general for helping me through this entire situation. I didn't understand what was happening to me because I've never had mania induced psychosis before. And it happened so fast, within two weeks. I write in a journal and have documentation of the entire ordeal. I wrote down some crazy things. I was out of my mind.

Anyway, so thanks. :o) You guys are great.

[Bubulous]

Drastic or dramatic actions in this situation is only going to set you back even further.  Try not to have so much control in your life.  We cannot stop time no matter what drugs we take or do not take.  Time goes on and you can either ride the waves or swim against the current.
I am not trying to be harsh I just want you to understand that this happened and you can deal with it.  I am sure this is not the hardest thing you have ever been through and you have the power in you to get through this.  One step at a time.
Let us know how you are doing. It will get better with ot without your assistance...

[persephonedemeter]

I also just thought of this. I had to think back when I was taken to hospitals involuntarily, by force. Log anything that you did when you tackle your billing issues. When you get the bills, talk to the insurance by phone or letter (Time, date, get the name of the person you spoke with and the extension and number you called, and what was discussed. Get a copy of the police report mailed to you. It usually involves a small fee of $1 or 2, and you need the date and time and address to where the police responded so that the police clerk can easily look it up. You can also request, pay and get a copy of your chart for when you were admitted to the hospital, including the involuntary order that was started as soon as the police arrived and when it was continued when you were in hospital. Involuntary psychoatric emergencies are considered emergent. I argued my head off too saying no to hospitalization while they restrained and carried me away,

Hospital billing would have known that you belonged to a network insurance and had their coordinator call your insurance to find out whether they will pay or if they needed to transfer you to a network hospital. They would have asked your husband for insurance information. Talk and listen to your husband. I don't know since I wasn't there, but  I imagine he was the one who called 911. From what you described, you were hard to wake up. Normally, the police call the paramedics and have them take you to the hospital instead of riding in their patrol car because ot would be hard to give proper medical assistance without medical supplies, and technical support.

It's a federal holiday today, and you may have to tackle this tomorrow with just a phone call to your insurance. It's good to have documentation and a paper trail, because it's concrete and not fuzzy.

[persephonedemeter]

Sorry about typos. Very small keyboard here. Also, I know you said they had to monitor you and left it at that. So you were lucky that they didn't have to do advance life support on you, which could happen when the heart gets so slow, it stops.

[persephonedemeter]

Propanolol will slow your heart down , and you took "alot," with "some" alprazolam," which is deadly if not treated, So, it was emergent. Plus, you were psychotic.

Even if it was out of network, your insurance should cover it, because it was emergent. Has nothing to do with "peeing dirty." I don't know about you, but when overdosed, I don't remember everything that happened, and with psychosis mixed in it, I definitely don't see things the way others see it, from my perspective.

Call your insurance and ask them about it. I have network insurance too, and when the ambulance and police took me to an out of network hospital because ot was the closest and most available one, the insurance paid for it as they would have paid as "in network" because it was an emergent situation.

I can understand being upset about it. I get upset too, but I won't break my dishes because I would have to pay for that too. I write also. I usually pound away at the keyboard, then delete. I don't need to look at what I wrpte,I also will exercise with loud music on, and swear woth no one arpund me, but I live in a house. When I lived with people, I went to a track, ran it out of me, and if no one was around, I screamed. That way, I don't add further damage, I get it out, and there is nothing for me to feel regret, apologetic or guilt about afterwards.

[weaver71]

When I was taken to the hospital, against my will, because of a concussion, I told them I wasn't gonna pay them and I didn't. Nothing ever came of it, accept more junk mail. I don't think they can force you to pay, if nobody concented, then it was the public service organizations that decided, they should have to pay it, since they are the ones who made the choice. I don't think mine was ever paid, they gave up after awhile. With any loan, without any collateral or security, they cannot force you to pay it. It will look bad on credit, but they loaned their services to you in good faith you would pay the unsecured loan. That was their mistake, not yours. Anyway, being forced to go to the hospital and then forced to pay it is extortion in my book, I do not believe there is much they can do to make you pay.

[CRSeaside]

Hang in there. Things will get better. Once you're feeling stronger you may be able to write letters to each creditor. Getting on a payment plan you can live with and accomplish.
  The second time I was taken to the hospital I found out the medics just drove me to the closest psych unit.
   This last year I had a plan all set with my husband. We both agreed if I enter a psychotic break that I can not get myself out of, he's to drive me to a specific hospital. I selected the hospital and made sure of my coverage while I was feeling healthy as a contingency plan.
   So when it happened that my psychosis was out of control, my husband knew calmly exactly what to do. I avoided a $1600 ambulance ride as he just drove me in our car. Everything was covered and I received much better & kinder more considerate care than the "bad" hospital I'd been taken to previously.   I learned about this in my support group. I also have to learn to give up control and cooperate when & if this ever happens to me again.
  I've since researched another psych ward in a close-by hospital.
   I hope this helps a little. All the best. Maxy