Sought help, yet left confused...

[Phobos1337]

Some time ago over Christmas I asked people for help in this forum with what I thought were normal mood swings and feelings of self harm, after speaking to a doctor at length (I've had my symptoms for years but only sought help after reading similar accounts of people on here) she thinks it's highly likely to be BP, as I'm a student away from home and use the NHS the only thing she could do was place me on Citalopram and keep seeing me every week to check my moods. I'm currently waiting for therapy but that's 2 weeks away. I have told some members of my family and friends and while my friends are incredibly supportive my family has taken the news badly, they essentially have removed my faith in myself and made me feel like I'm making things up just to get back at them.

On top of this I have things like university and learning to drive yet despite being on the citalopram for a few weeks I have noticed little improvement and generally feel stressed, nervous and down most of the time, it's also damaging my relationships. Normally I would drink/take drugs etc to make myself feel better but I don't feel comfortable doing that on SSRIs.

Your advice would be much appreciated and sorry I've rambled on.

Sophie

[Venora Moonwind]

Citalpram being an antidepressant isnt enough when you are bi polar. It takes both and AD and a mood stabilizer to stabilaize bi polar. One without the other will tip you in the opposite direction.
As bulldozer said we understand like nobdy else can.
Love venora

[bernie40]

Lack of concentration and difficulty in remembering things is common to depression and/or bipolar.  The psychiatrist will not be offended if you take a notebook and pen, also be sure to ask them to repeat anything that you haven't quite understood.

With your studies, yes it's going to be doubly hard and I would suggest talking to the Uni Counsellor so they are aware that you are having difficulties at the moment but that you are seeking help.

I personally didn't get on with citalopram at all, a lot of people with BP find that they cause more trouble but we are all different and as you say you have not yet had the diagnosis confirmed.

Also anything that is said at your appointments that confuses you, be sure to feel able to come on here and we can try and help sift through it for you.  Believe me we have all come out of appointments feeling like someone planted a washing machine in our heads at times.

If you feel more comfortable writing via PM then please do so.  I'm from the UK also so can at least have a good understanding of the system.  As far as BP itself goes, all of us on here, regardless of where we are from can understand where you are at.

Hugs,

[Phobos1337]

Cheers for your quick reply :)

I'm afraid I don't know too much at the moment about BP, the doctor has said she cannot diagnose me (you are right) and I'm not sure if I understood properly but it will be a psychiatrist I will be seeing in 2 weeks. Another problem is as I feel 'low' at the moment I cannot concentrate, think or remember and it is affecting university (I do Electronic Engineering) so as I've just said I sit and talk to the doc and then I get confused or upset.

I have been told the AD's will make me feel worse before I get better with the way they work with Seratonin and I do intend to follow medical advice.

Thanks again

[bernie40]

First of all you absolutely musn't turn to alcohol or drugs as a form of self-medicating, that really isn't going to help and will in fact make you worse.

Secondly - with all due respect to our NHS Doctors, you need to be seen by a psychiatrist for a diagnosis of Bipolar.  I expect your Dr is going through due process and it's great that you are seeing her on a weekly basis.  She is trying you with the citalopram (which I'm sorry, I doubt this will help, but you must not stop it without Dr consent).  Knowing our NHS quite well, she is monitoring you with a view to referring you on to a psychiatrist.  Now my Dr told me that she could not prescribe me mood stabilizers that the strongest she could offer me was venlaflaxine, she can however prescribe them on behalf of my psychiatrist.

I think the biggest problem is time.  Yes it's good that you are going to be getting therapy alongside the AD, however I see this as just another rung on the ladder towards eventually seeing a psychiatrist.  Perhaps it would be worth speaking to your Dr again, telling her that the citalopram is not working, that you would like to see a psychiatrist.

Hopefully the therapy will help you with dealing with the issues around your family and about managing your stress levels - stress is not a good thing when you are BP.

Keep posting on here.......