Aa
TENSE TENSE TENSE
with all this switch with medication I'm losing it I can't seem to relax and those constant thoughts I was havin are getting worst my speech my writing my concentration muscle pain all over my body I'm written this message and is like I have no stop button a cry for help I feel like nobody cares for me nobody understands what I am going through I can't even take care of myself no more My doctor probably thinks I'm a Ginny pig that seems to change my medications so often and just try anything I am getting so fed up of everything is like I have lost my soul and all of my hope I Can't keep trying no more!!!! Everyday is a WAR!!!!! Everyday is a Struggle!!! Must I be paying for something I did in a past life? I can't continue to live like this no more!!!!!! I forgot the last time I slept and it's like my doctor doesn't even care!!!
Ok. It's kind of hard dealing with things with brain fog on board. You may have to wait until it lessens. When I didn't get anywhere with therapists or psychiatrists or any sort of program, I went on to others. I did end up with a therapist and psychiatrist, hospital program, etc. I can work with and Got better. Looking back, I had a hard enough time trying to get my act together during brain fog and just put up with things as much as I could. I also know it was really hard to be around me at that time, but when I am not feeling my best, I didn't like much interactions with people or stress, and I hardly went out. I'm pretty amazed now, that I made it back and forth to the hospital programs without getting hurt...although I got lost a few times.
I did explain to her all of my symptoms i even made sure i wrote it down so I wont forget any while talkin to her because of the brain fog and that was her response to me. I am seeing a therapist but i feel like its not going no where!!!
Does your doctor know you are throwing up and can't eat anything? Does she know about the muscle stiffness? It doesn't sound like you have much confidence in your doctor. Have you considered getting a new doctor or getting a second opinion?
Are you seeing a therapist or going to therapeutic support groups or chapters of support organizations like the National Alliance on Mental Health (NAMI) or Bipolar Disorder Society Alliance (BDSA)? Most of us havebeen there with people not really understanding us, alienating people or notnhave anyone who "gets it." It really depends on how much another person wants to reach out and if they have the capacity to deal with it..especially family and friends who never had to deal with mental illness and disorder.
Only 3 people know how to talk to me and are willing to,listen. Some try and some just don't get it. If anything, most people don't want to know too kuch about it. The 3 people could talk to me without making me worse. However, that was the way it was before I ever went into mental turmoil and illness.
Are you seeing a therapist or going to therapeutic support groups or chapters of support organizations like the National Alliance on Mental Health (NAMI) or Bipolar Disorder Society Alliance (BDSA)? Most of us havebeen there with people not really understanding us, alienating people or notnhave anyone who "gets it." It really depends on how much another person wants to reach out and if they have the capacity to deal with it..especially family and friends who never had to deal with mental illness and disorder.
Only 3 people know how to talk to me and are willing to,listen. Some try and some just don't get it. If anything, most people don't want to know too kuch about it. The 3 people could talk to me without making me worse. However, that was the way it was before I ever went into mental turmoil and illness.
She finally answer my phone call today she told me to drink plenty of liquid and just take lamictal and naproxen for the pain and let my stomach clear from all the meds and she would see me next week
Have you called your doctor if you are having such a bad reaction from your med or meds so immediately?
Hearin music sometimes calms me down but then those dark days comes when all you want to do is lock yourself in the room and lay in bed I just get so angry because in my real life i have no one to talk to no one who understands my daily struggles! If i try to talk with a family or friend is a brick wall but Im always going the extra mile for everybody. I got frustrated with the new med because it made me sick i really feel more sick now then ever physically mentally emotionally i cant get up from bed my meds have made my muscle so stiff i havent been able to eat because i keep throwing up my body is hurtin so mych i have never been in so much pain all at once. I am tryin to stay positive but im tired! I feel overwhelmed!
Take moment again. Did something just happened, triggered you and set you off again? Are you communicating with your doctor? You said your doc probably thinks you are a Ginny pig and that you are switching meds so often. It all sounds a little one sided to me. Also, didn't you just get the meds changed on Friday?
I used to have really good coping skills and I had to relearn them when I went completely haywire with the bipolar disorder. It turned me upside down. everyday was war and I also thought I was going through some sort of cosmic payback. I also had to learn not to ride my moods because I rapid cycled or probably was an ultra cycler. I rollercoastered more times than I could count. With the irritation, paranoia, frustration and anger, it went from bad to worse. I also thought I was some sort of medication hog, but that wasn't true. I wasn't really capable to treat myself and wean my meds down or push m meds up on my own when I wasn't stable, because my mind was affected. It is also very true that for a severe illness, it is not a wise thing to treat oneself, because it's a little hard to be objective.
The one thing I learned is that neither my doctor, therapist, me or anyone else sees the full picture and can give me good treatment if none of us let each other in by just talking. Believe it or not, I used to hardly say a word in therapy and when I saw my psychiatrist, but I had no problem getting upset and walking out the door in a fit of anger.
You are also just coming out of brain fog, and this compromises thinking as with not being stable. There may be other things in your life making the struggle hard.
Besides, talking...the other thing Ihad to learn was to lower my expectations and standards on myself. I couldn't expect to be the way I was before I got sick. I had to slow down, ease up, depend on other people to help me, trust them enough, open up a bit more, and tell myself it's okay, because I just wasn't well. It wasn't easy for me to do this. Especially, when all my life prior, during and after my illness, people still depended on me to be there for them, and I was always there supporting and fighting for them. I asked them to trust me. That's because they knew I was careful with them, we always discussed and decided what we would do all the way, and if risks were overwhelmingly or rising fast again against us, or if it looks like it's working, then we stay or alter the course.
It's the same way with treatment and medicine. There isn't really a straight line where you get sick, get a diagnosis, get a drug, and everything is all fixed up. If it does happen, well, that's wonderful. However, we all know along the way, that there are things that happen with each step that influences that process, so it's more complicated than a single cause and effect framework. There are a lot of cause and effects working in real life, and that is putting it simply.
Call your doctor again. You may need to get your dose changed on a drug or drugs or get it changed. I also started to take up my therapist advice and I called her when I felt like you need...along with my psychiatrist. I usually called them at the same time. The more information they got from me, they weren't working blind. They also communicated with each other often.
I used to have really good coping skills and I had to relearn them when I went completely haywire with the bipolar disorder. It turned me upside down. everyday was war and I also thought I was going through some sort of cosmic payback. I also had to learn not to ride my moods because I rapid cycled or probably was an ultra cycler. I rollercoastered more times than I could count. With the irritation, paranoia, frustration and anger, it went from bad to worse. I also thought I was some sort of medication hog, but that wasn't true. I wasn't really capable to treat myself and wean my meds down or push m meds up on my own when I wasn't stable, because my mind was affected. It is also very true that for a severe illness, it is not a wise thing to treat oneself, because it's a little hard to be objective.
The one thing I learned is that neither my doctor, therapist, me or anyone else sees the full picture and can give me good treatment if none of us let each other in by just talking. Believe it or not, I used to hardly say a word in therapy and when I saw my psychiatrist, but I had no problem getting upset and walking out the door in a fit of anger.
You are also just coming out of brain fog, and this compromises thinking as with not being stable. There may be other things in your life making the struggle hard.
Besides, talking...the other thing Ihad to learn was to lower my expectations and standards on myself. I couldn't expect to be the way I was before I got sick. I had to slow down, ease up, depend on other people to help me, trust them enough, open up a bit more, and tell myself it's okay, because I just wasn't well. It wasn't easy for me to do this. Especially, when all my life prior, during and after my illness, people still depended on me to be there for them, and I was always there supporting and fighting for them. I asked them to trust me. That's because they knew I was careful with them, we always discussed and decided what we would do all the way, and if risks were overwhelmingly or rising fast again against us, or if it looks like it's working, then we stay or alter the course.
It's the same way with treatment and medicine. There isn't really a straight line where you get sick, get a diagnosis, get a drug, and everything is all fixed up. If it does happen, well, that's wonderful. However, we all know along the way, that there are things that happen with each step that influences that process, so it's more complicated than a single cause and effect framework. There are a lot of cause and effects working in real life, and that is putting it simply.
Call your doctor again. You may need to get your dose changed on a drug or drugs or get it changed. I also started to take up my therapist advice and I called her when I felt like you need...along with my psychiatrist. I usually called them at the same time. The more information they got from me, they weren't working blind. They also communicated with each other often.
You need to call your doctor. I don't like that you said you can't keep living like this anymore. I'm a nurse and if you had said that to me that would be an automatic suicide watch, done deal. Call your doctor or go to the ER. If you don't feel your ER "worthy" and can't get your doctor soon, call a close friend or crisis line. I'm worried about you.
Medication changes are necessary for you to find a balance. I hope your dr is giving the medications ample time to see the effect of them before changing them.
Take a deep breath. Now take another deep breath. I've been there and it gets better. Just ride it out. keep riding through it and call your doctor. He/she needs to know how you are whether you believe he cares or not. It's important.
What makes you feel any relief right now? Hot shower? Sleep? Somehow being creative?
M
What makes you feel any relief right now? Hot shower? Sleep? Somehow being creative?
M
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