Manic Episode - Is this it

[foxyladyhawke]

When I am not feeling well and want to be left alone.  I don't feel right, I am depressed, over tired due to lack of sleep, stressed out from job. I just want to be left a lone.  The boyfriend starts bugging me that I don't want to spend time with him.  Whats wrong etc.  I blow up and become extremely aggressive and violent.  I don't remember what I say to him or do.  I have never been like that and it is only with him that this has happened.  I deal with stuff by missing work for a day to catch up on sleep or just laze around.  Maybe it is him.  I don't do the things I use to love like walking, weight, photography, crafts.  I have gained weight now and that really depresses me.   We have been together for 4 years and this all started in July 2007.  I have had several violent outbursts, when I should have been left alone.

[ILADVOCATE]

That does sound like depression but it also could be an agitated mixed state where a person has the down aspect of depression but the speeded up quality of mania so it seems like constant anger. You should speak to your psychiatrist about what is going on and they could decide how to help you.

[doctora]

I had the exact symptoms/problems before I was diagnosed with Bi-Polar 1 & Schizoaffective Disorder - primarily Bi-Polar.
I still have mood swings, but not as severe as they were when I was unmedicated. My anger would escalate to the point where I would threaten or attempt to injure family. Now with mood stabilizing medication, Im on Seroquel, I still get angry, and just want to be alone, sometimes staying inside my apt. for days without leaving, and yes this is a sign of depression.
Try to understand that your boyfriend doesnt know whats going on, and is trying to keep you happy, but first you have to figure out and take action before you can even try to explain to anyone else.
Be aware that you will gain weight on either mood stabilizers or anti-depressants, but I have come to understand that I am better off with the extra weight than the way I was before medication and skinny.
You also seem to be doing a lot, if you already havent, try to set aside an hour just for you. Take yoga, or another activity that helps release stress, then you will feel refreshed and be able to think clearer.
Let us know how it goes..