If you have managed your bipolar med free than I would suggest you leave it that way. Trying meds is a never ending cycle for many people including myself. Meds come with a lot of trial an error and side effects for many.
If your life with bipolar is too hard than it wouldn't hurt to go to a pscychiatrist and try a med to see if it would help. Just remember the meds are all trial and error for most people so don't get discouraged.
Life doesn't have to be unbearable, the purpose (and blessing) of medication is to diminish as much as possible the overwhelming burden you're feeling. They have allowed people such as yourself to live a normal (or near-normal) life. Adopting a sort of martyr complex stigmatising medication and convincing us that we should be "strong" and have no need for medication is a great danger that only delays the treatment that is capable of saving you.
I found meds where a good temporary break from the struggle, which put me in a space to be able to live without them. I didn't like some side affects of the 3 I tried, but that time of flat affect lowes my mind to rest enough to rebuild my nutritional therapy, CBT, and I now have a network of local bipolar I have formed. That 6 months was my only time on meds, so the long term benefits are unknown to me. I realized that life is hard, some make it look easy, but it's not easy for anyone. Maybe I'm more intense than others, but everyone seems to relate to how I feel to a degree. Surrender and acceptance have been valuable for me, I hope you feel better soon.
I have been on medication for my bipolar and they have been a real asset to my life. The hardest part was fining the right one as it looks months of up and downs before finding one that actually worked! The biggest downside for me was the degradation of my sense of humour as it was flattened out but I preferred not being controlled by my bipolar and depression. My recommendation is to go into taking meds with your eyes wide open as it may take several attempts before finding the one that works for you
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