Racing thoughts with obsession.

[WatsonW]

Seeing as my new jobs medicare won't kick in 'till the first, and I'm a bit aprehensive about going to talk to a doctor about this, I figure I'd ask here.

Everywhere I've looked I've not been able to find anything about obsession being a part of bipolar disorder, but I really don't know what else it could be. My mind races constantly, to the point where I actually get tired. Eventually I focus on one thought. Put EVERYTHING into that one thought. The obssession will last a few days, or a few weeks, or 3 years.

It started about 4 years ago with a simple computer game. I found that it helped stop the racing, as long as I was intently focused on the game. Eventually the game BECAME my life. I'd go to school, think about the game all day, get home and stay on the computer till I fell asleep. I figured I was just addicted to the game, whatever. It happens. Well, as I got older my intrests matured too.

For about 2 months I decided I wanted this truck. Not wanted. NEEDED. If I had the truck, I'd be cool man! I had it all planned out. I'd graduate from high school and go stright to the local pen to start work as a prison guard, and save up for that truck! It was just like the computer game. I'd come home and sit down and just think of ways I could make money to get this truck, or get on the computer and look up  things about this truck. Spend hours on the companys website, re-custimzing this truck.

In one of my searches into ways to make money, I found real estate. I was going to be a landlord! I'd spend HOURS at Books-A-Million, reading about the best ways to do this and that. Of course at this point, I'd forgotten ALL about the truck.

This was about the time I noticed my mood swings. For a couple of days I'd realized I was very happy, on top of the world. I could do ANYTHING. Then I'd wake up the next morning, and be in a completly different state of mind. I'd constantly dwell on the point of life, and just be in a ****** mood untill I became manic, for no reason.

Eventually my obsessions became a bit more 18 year-old-guy-like. A friend talked me into going to the gym with him one day. I was hooked. I bought a TON of books on fitness, learned everything I could about it. It was all I could think about. I went from 6'4 almost 320 pounds, to 6'4 235 pounds in a little under 6 months.

This was about the time I started my job at the prison, working 12 hours for four days, and then off for four days. That just made the thoughts of "Why" worse. What's the point of working 12 hours a day, doing nothing but eat, sleep, and work, just so you can enjoy the "little moments."

I managed to cope with it pretty well untill here recently. I discovered females (I never had time before this, I was always obsessed about something else). It seems like every four days off, I'm obsessing over a different girl. The latest one is always the best thing since sliced bread. None of them knew that I constantly thought about them. We're just friends. But I can't get it off my mind. I go from manic to depressed daily here lately, and it's driving me insane.

Anyways...after my life story, I guess I'll get to my question(s). >_>. Does anyone know if bipolar medication would help at all with this? Is it possible it's bipolar along with something else? OCD sounds like the most logical choice, but every symptom of OCD seems to have very little to do with obsession, and more about the compulsiveness.

Thanks in advance,
Woody.

[Venora Moonwind]

hi there and welcome to the forum
My experience with bi polar and ocd is that i obsess about germs and when I have my minimanics I cant get my house clean enough. I drive my family crazy because I think they should be obsessed with the cleanliness too.
meds and therapy have enabled me to deal with this.See a psychiatrist to be evaluated .Tell what you have told here and go from there.Keep in touch and let us know how it goes for you.
LoveVenora

[PenelopeAnn]

My mania used to take the form of becoming obsessed thoughts about a person that turned into stalking behaviors and delusional thinking. I also had hyperactive thoughts of a violent and/or sexual nature all the while managing to behave relatively normal at work and with family. The obsessive thoughts and the compulsion to do behaviors was often overwhelming and impossible to resist. It caused me MUCH internal grief. I thought I was evil, straight from hell for thinking what I was thinking. I only had these behaviors and thoughts when I was manic. I was relieved to find out they were a result of the mania, that I wasn't a horrible person, and when I finally stop resisting them I found that they eventually were no longer part of my manias. I get a taste of obsessing now and again, but it isn't all consuming and I don't feel guilty. I don't have the urge at all to do crazy things like call and hang up or drive by a persons house. I never had this problem outside of a manic episode. The obsessions lasted usually months.
Now, I also do get other obsessions when manic, but they take more of a spending spree aspect. For example, I started collecting vinyl records and became obsessed with a specific kind of music and ended up spending a lot of money on every record of that genre I could find. This happens with books, games, when a normal interest gets out of had during a manic episode.

[Pixiefields77]

I get obsessive too when I'm high.  I will obsess about one thing (usually a concocted plan of mine) constantly and talk about it until people are sick of listening!  They tell me I'm obsessed and I know that I am but I can't help it.  Sometimes I become obessed with many things at once and make plan after plan and thinking that I can do it all.

I've only just found out through asking two of the closest people I know (my husband and my boss) that when I get this way, they both said that I talk really fast and loud.  I didn't have any idea that I did that...

Anyway, just wanted to let you know that I hear you and understand.

Pixiefields

[WatsonW]

Thank you all very much. I've got an apointment with a psychiatrist the 9th(I think). I don't think I've had decided to do it if not for your help.

God bless,
Watson

[Pixiefields77]

Well done Watson.  Let us know how you go...

Pixiefields

[lia00]

HI, i was also trying to find out about obsessions and bipolar, i hve an appointment with a psychiatrist, i am almost certain i have bipolar.
Reading your comment has to be the closest thing to what i am like that i have ever read i am really tormenting myself now and found what yu described really reasssuring.hope its going ok.

[Xila31]

In my own experance I only seem to have repetative thoughts during hypomania or possible mixed state. Otherwise I don't have them at all. But once my thoughts start racing I get stuck in loops. It is usually negetive things but sometimes not. Sometimes it is just random stuff like a song or an idea or something I saw on t.v. It drives me crazy. At these times I have super high anxiety. I hate it.