Having trouble understanding my bipolar 2

[tweekie]

Does anyone that suffers from this have trouble communicating their actual mood swings to their doctor because they can't remember the course of even one month.  I must start writing this stuff down because I know for a fact that I was hypomanic about 3 weeks ago, I know I was depressed sometime after that. Right now I'm depressed. When I get to my doctor I don't even know what to tell him, when he says how are you? To me that is the worst question you can ask to someone with this disorder because I can tell you I'm fine now, but later tonight I might be a raging *****.  Or earlier in the day before I might have been crying and had suicidal thoughts, but whatever mood I'm in that will define me at that time and I forget about all the other moods. Does anyone else have this problem?

[Xila31]

I use the mood tracker every day. I keep it updated several times during the day, adding in everything that happens and not taking anything out. Then, when I visit my doctors I print it out. This has helped me hugely. I've found I have been able to do it even when I am in a bad place, even with racing and repetitive thoughts and even when I had some really bad trouble last month and was hurting myself I was able to get it in. This has been a huge help so far and I plan to continue as best I can with it.

In fact, I just got a message from Med Help they are adding a rapid cycling mood tracker and will contact me when it is up. they are also taking the suggestion I said of adding racing and repetitive thoughts as a choice. Also they are making an anxiety tracker, and I signed up to be on the contact list when it comes out. I just feel anything like this will help my doctors and aid in my recovery.

[ILADVOCATE]

You might want to ask your psychiatrist about exactly what's going on and a conclusive diagnosis. BPD might be something you'd want to find out more about. I've known people with bpd who had extreme difficulties relating to others and co-dependence issues and problems with self awareness. Only a psychiatrist could understand it fully but you might want to find out more about that and there is a forum for that as well as that requires behavioral therapy in addition to medication for people to recover.

[paranoid_cataclysm]

I always answer the how are you question with "I'm ok... right now." or "I'm ok today." and sometimes I add if I wasn't before and that I don't know how I'm going to be later.

[tweekie]

thank you for understanding me. i don't understand me. sometimes i get depressed because I'm sick and tired of not knowing who I'm going to wake up to.  people get annoyed with me because i'll be nice and like them and then suddenly be completely annoyed with them and push them away. i do it to my boyfriend. i'm constantly ending friendships dramatically or not talking to family members and then having to apologize and rekindle if at all possible. i'm afraid that one day i will be a lonely old lady with tons of cats wearing a duster because no one will want to be my friend anymore.  

[secretone]

Hi, and oh yessss.  My moods change all the time.  Even when I fill out my tracker I have trouble.  I am glad I found this web site because I really have to keep track of this ****.  I have been fighting with the BP since 1999, before that I just thought I had a bad attitude.  I am all over the page everyday, up down all around.  I have found that writing it down is the best thing to do.  The key though is for me is to go back and read what I had wrote. Hang in there

[hell1971]

Ditto, im sure most will relate to this, you should write this down if you think it will help. I was in my docs on monday, he didnt have to worry about me telling him he saw my dramatic mood swing whilst I was in there lol but I know that I have been before and been fine and then everything has gone to pot within hours, its a hard disease I think, no one understands unless they are bipolar, it *****